


Things You Can’t Say Tomorrow Day

by JasmineTeaLatte



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe, Angst with a Happy Ending, Belligerent Sexual Tension, Ember Island (Avatar), Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode: s03e05 The Beach, Episode: s03e16 The Southern Raiders, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Idiots in Love, Katara gives Zuko a much needed verbal beatdown, Mild Smut, Mildly Dubious Consent, Mutual Pining, Past Relationship(s), Suggestive Themes, This Is Not Going To Go The Way You Think, Zuko (Avatar) is not Nice
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-22
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-18 19:22:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 45,866
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29614242
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JasmineTeaLatte/pseuds/JasmineTeaLatte
Summary: After getting unceremoniously kicked out of a party and dumped earlier that night, a disgruntled Fire Prince eventually finds himself back at his family’s abandoned vacation house. As he contemplates the decisions that led him to this point, he’s visited by the last person he expected to see on Ember Island.~*~*~"Like waves washing away the footprints on the sand, Ember Island gives everyone a clean slate. Ember Island reveals the true you."
Relationships: Katara & Zuko (Avatar), Katara/Zuko (Avatar)
Comments: 102
Kudos: 265





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Now with a [minicomic by the talented fghartwork](https://fghartwork.tumblr.com/post/645283855249686528/things-you-cant-say-tomorrow-day) on Tumblr!
> 
> Me: ships Zutara based on mutual support and understanding and complementary personalities, not solely because of belligerent sexual tension or whatever.
> 
> Also me: Let’s write a fanfic chock full of belligerent sexual tension **for the sheer hell of it.**
> 
> FYI - while he’s not evil, Zuko is still very much a heel / bad guy in the first two chapters of this fic. I’ve always written his interactions with Katara post-redemption when he’s nicer and softer, so exploring his meaner streak (so to speak) was a lot of fun, and dare I say... dark and intriguing? 🧐
> 
> Title taken from the Arctic Monkey’s “Do I Wanna Know?” which is a Zutara song if I’ve ever heard one. Halsey’s “You Should Be Sad” also inspired parts of Katara’s argument, because at this point, the boy still needs a hefty dose of tough love. Luckily he gets better.
> 
> Also, I threw in the Mildly Dubious Consent tag just to be safe. 
> 
> Enjoy!

_Baby, we both know that the nights were mainly made  
For sayin' things that you can't say tomorrow day… _

[ _Do I Wanna Know – Arctic Monkeys_ ](https://youtu.be/wdo_ATH_ITg)

* * *

Zuko resisted the urge to kick up the sand along the beach as he walked alone in the darkness.

The more distance he put between that stupid party and himself, the better. He paid no attention to his surroundings as he went, knowing that he’d stop sooner or later whenever he felt like or his legs gave out.

Still, he had a vague idea of where he was going, all the same. 

Sure enough, the royal family’s former beach house nestled amongst the cliffs came into view, looking even more abandoned and run down in the darkness.

He should have known he would eventually find himself back here. It almost seemed inevitable.

His feet were heavy as he trudged up the pathway, and he only paused once he reached the front door.

With a swift kick and a loud _bang_ they swung open for the first time in years, and the ghosts of memories swirled forth from the layers of dust to greet him like an old friend.

The prince spent some time wandering through the empty house, gazing sadly at photos on the walls depicting happier times.

Soon he discovered something he’d almost forgotten about entirely. He picked it up curiously, examining it as he walked back outside.

Zuko settled down near the entrance, leaning against one of the pillars as he turned over the flat, smooth stone bearing the imprint of his hand as a child.

So much had changed since then. For a moment, he wondered what his younger self would have thought about the decisions he’d made over the years and if he would have approved of them.

Something deep inside him suggested not.

He tilted his head back, gazing up at the rafters overhead before sighing and closing his eyes in exhaustion, still clutching the stone in his hand.

~*~*~

Minutes later his eyes fluttered open at the sound of a rustling in the shrubbery nearby, as if someone were creeping up to the house by avoiding the pathway.

Zuko set down the stone and shot to his feet, slinking back into the shadows against the house, holding his breath while he waited for the intruder to appear.

He crouched into position, ready to fight whoever it was if he had to.

A few minutes later the sound of the rustling revealed itself as nothing more than a mere girl emerging from the darkness, edging along the house’s outer walls and peeking into the windows.

He relaxed his stance and was tempted to scoff at himself for being so paranoid.

It was hard to see even by the light of the full moon, but she appeared to be about his age. She also looked to be from the Fire Nation, based on her red clothing and hairstyle consisting of a topknot, although the rest of her tresses were loose.

Probably nothing more than a tourist who got lost or was looking to rob an abandoned home. It didn’t matter. Whoever she was, this girl posed no threat.

Zuko held his breath and waited until she drew closer to his hiding spot before he stepped out of the shadows.

“Hey!” he barked out, and the girl froze in the darkness as he hopped down off the porch.

She probably meant no harm, and ultimately he didn’t care about any possessions left in the house – she could have it all if she wanted it.

Still, with the mood he was in, he didn’t feel especially magnanimous at the moment. 

“This is private property,” he continued as he strode over to her. “What do you think you’re doing here?”

She looked at him and let out a gasp of horror and recognition as she started to back away slowly, never taking her eyes off of him.

That surprised him – none of the other Ember Island tourists or partygoers had recognized their group earlier, even with his scar. Whoever she was, at least the girl was far more observant than those idiots.

“I’m so sorry, I don’t know how I got out here and I thought it was abandoned,” she stammered out, reaching for something behind her back.

He sighed, letting a flame flicker to life within the palm of his hand and released the tension in his shoulders.

“Look, I’m not going to hurt you…” he began.

Wait.

There was something awfully familiar about the girl, and he could have sworn he knew that voice from somewhere.

But that was crazy, she couldn’t possibly be…

The fire in his hand grew larger, completely illuminating them both and allowing him to take a closer look at the stranger.

No beads adorned her hair, and her clothes were as scarlet as though she had just come from the same party he’d fled.

Still, there was no mistaking her identity – he’d never forget the Water Tribe girl who always managed to thwart him back when he’d been hunting the Avatar.

His golden eyes widened as they met her apprehensive sapphire ones, and his mouth fell open in surprise.

“What are you-”

But he had no time to finish that question or even react before she snuffed out his flame with a water whip and a feral yell.

Another tendril of water snaked around his legs out and yanked them out from underneath him, and Zuko found himself flat on his back with the wind knocked clean out of his lungs.

It took him a second longer to realize that she’d straddled his chest and was holding a blade of ice directly on his throat, with a downright murderous expression on her face.

That confirmed it, then.

He scowled as he tried to move, but she had pinned his arms down with her legs and the blade of ice lightly pricked his skin. It hadn’t drawn blood yet, although he knew she wouldn’t hesitate to do that next.

His best course of action would be to stay put, at least until he got his breath back and could throw her off. Until then, he only had to wait for her to lower her defenses, which she was bound to do soon, as she usually let her emotions get the best of her…

… not unlike himself, he supposed.

However, he didn’t want to dwell on that commonality, so he decided to be as cordial as possible in the meantime until she inevitably slipped up.

“Katara,” he said calmly. “Wasn’t expecting to see you again.”

~*~*~

The almost casual way her name rolled off his tongue seemed to catch her off guard, but only for a moment before she tightened her grip on the ice blade.

It occurred to him then that he’d never called her by her actual name before – it was always _peasant_ or _waterbender_ or something else demeaning.

“You traitorous snake,” she ground out through gritted teeth. “What are you doing here?”

He’d heard worse greetings, he supposed.

“I’m not a traitor,” he shot back. “I never made you or your friends any promises-”

“Of course not,” she snarled. “You only made it seem like you had changed and even used my dead mother’s memory to gain my sympathy. But then you and your evil sister struck when my guard was down. You really are no better than a snake hiding in the grass.”

Zuko sighed. 

“I had no idea she was going to do that,” he admitted quietly. “Hit the Avatar with lightning like she did, that is. It caught me off guard just as much as you, believe me.”

Her lower lip trembled for a moment before she controlled herself.

Just a bit longer…

“Aang _died_ that night,” she hissed. “Do you know what happens when an Avatar is killed while they’re in the Avatar state like he was? The entire Avatar cycle was almost broken permanently-”

“So I take it he’s still alive then?” Zuko interrupted. “You were able to bring him back with that vial of water from the Spirit Oasis?”

Katara inhaled sharply, and this time he indeed felt a drop of blood from where the ice pricked at his skin.

“He died,” she insisted flatly. “No thanks to you.”

“You’re lying,” he rebuffed coldly. “Why else would you be in the Fire Nation wearing a disguise, if he hadn’t survived and your group was now hiding out here? You’re probably trying to find a firebending teacher for him too, aren’t you?”

She became as still as a statue, hardly daring to breathe as he continued.

“And let me guess… you guys are probably near the Jang Hui River where that factory recently got blown up? That was you, wasn’t it? Somehow a small backwater fishing village takes out one of the largest suppliers of weapons in the country, supposedly with no outside help-”

“Shut up,” she hissed.

His arms were starting to grow numb, and he knew he needed to catch her off guard soon.

“I’m glad you helped them,” he said quietly. “I’m glad you did that.”

That did the trick. She recoiled and moved the ice blade half an inch away from his throat. Now was his chance, although something told him to wait it out a little while longer.

“Not about the factory getting blown up, necessarily,” he clarified. “But I went back after the fact and discovered a long paper trail of requests for aid from the village. I read all this stuff about how their natural resources had been depleted over the years. With the factory gone, their economy should make a full recovery.”

Katara was breathing heavily now, and he knew he almost had her.

“Well _someone_ in the Fire Nation should actually care about its citizens,” she retorted. “If their own leader isn’t going to look out for them, at least they now know that there are people out there who won’t turn their backs on them.”

“I just said I was glad you helped them, didn’t I?” he growled. “So you’re hiding out near Jang Hui then?”

She shook her head.

“No, my brother and I moved on right afterwards and they have no idea where we went, so you’d just be wasting your time interrogating-”

Then she let out a yelp of shock as he made his move, throwing her off of him altogether. She landed on the ground nearby with a thud and a grunt, and both regained their feet at about the same time.

Zuko conjured up flames in both of his hands, holding out his arms and ready to strike if she attacked him.

Her blade of ice had melted when she was knocked aside, although she immediately called all of the water back to her fingertips and resumed a defensive pose, her teeth bared in a snarl.

He knew from their past encounters that he could still take her on even under the full moon – the ocean was too far away to pose a threat, and she only had what water could fit in the pouch slung across her back.

Still, he lowered his own arms and extinguished his flames, holding out his upturned palms in an unsuccessful show of good faith.

“I’m not going to hurt you,” he said softly.

She shook her head and crouched lower.

“I don’t believe you,” she said. 

“You’re right, you have no reason to trust me,” he agreed. “But I could have thrown you off at any point before now.”

The water surrounding her arms crackled as it froze into twin blades extending past her fingertips.

“Why didn’t you?”

Frankly, he had been wondering that himself.

“Because you were nice to me before,” he said, the answer only revealing itself once he admitted it out loud. “And because my sister and her friends are on this island too, and if they find you they won’t show you any mercy. I won’t be able to protect you.”

Katara glared at him.

“I don’t need your protection.”

“Believe me, I know you don’t.”

Her back was only a few feet away from the house’s outer walls, and he was cutting her off from her only escape route. She shifted her stance and took a step off to the side as if she were preparing to make a run for it, but he shook his head in a silent warning.

He would let her go once she answered his questions and gave him some insight into where the Avatar was hiding out. Surely he and the others couldn’t be too far away if she was here?

“So where am I?” she asked as if she could read his thoughts, stepping backwards with a frown.

Zuko tilted his head. How had she and the others gotten all the way over here without knowing just how close to danger they were?

“You’re on Ember Island,” he explained slowly. “It’s a tourist retreat where lots of Fire Nation citizens go on vacation.”

Her eyes widened as she realized something, although they immediately narrowed afterwards.

“Then why are _you_ here?” she pressed. “Surely his _royal highness_ has better things to do than skulk around an abandoned house in the middle of the night. Shouldn’t you be busy celebrating the fact that you helped bring down the last great defense against your country’s reign of tyranny?”

He crossed his arms and glared down at her.

“Not that it’s any of your business but I _was_ at a party earlier,” he retorted.

Katara raised her eyebrow.

“Why’d you leave it, then?”

Zuko snorted and scowled off to the side while keeping his good eye trained on her lest she try anything. To her credit, though, she simply tilted her head as if she were actually interested in what he had to say.

She was probably hoping to catch him off guard, just like he’d done with her earlier, but he found himself opening up regardless. Who was she going to tell?

“It was horrible. All of the people there were awful, and my girlfriend was cranky and boring the entire time… well, my ex-girlfriend now. It was nothing more than the cherry atop an even worse day.”

Katara let out a derisive laugh, and he whipped his head back around to glower at her.

“Sorry, that truly sounds _terrible_ ,” she said in a mocking tone that inspired smoke to rise from his fingertips. “You _poor_ thing, you. People all over are suffering because of the Fire Nation, but you’re right, their pain is nothing compared to yours-”

“Shut up.”

The girl rolled her eyes and melted the ice surrounding her hands and deposited it back into her waterskin, leaving it uncorked. He raised his eyebrow at that curiously.

“Here I was thinking that you and your family had something terrible planned, but all you’re doing is sulking in the dark after ditching a party,” she explained dryly. “Must be nice having that kind of luxury and being spoiled rotten while the rest of the world falls apart.”

He wanted nothing more than to wipe that stupid smirk off her face with a few well-aimed fire blasts, but something held him back.

“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” he growled instead.

This conversation suddenly seemed oddly familiar… besides, he had no clue what his father’s plans were to end the war, though not from lack of trying.

“Oh, I don’t?” she countered. “Sorry, I’m just surprised that you’re not off basking in the glory of overthrowing Ba Sing Se and defeating the Avatar. Did they not do that enough at the party before you ran off? I bet everywhere else you get tons of people constantly praising you every day for your _bravery_ -”

“ _Shut up_.” 

However, she was on a roll now and ignored him.

“Poor Prince Zuko, finally allowed to go home after killing the Avatar, only to realize that he’s miserable. Did you at least make your father proud? Did he at least welcome you back as a hero?”

He remained silent for a long moment, although fire flickered around his clenched fists as they hung shaking by his sides.

Finally he spoke in a low, subdued voice that she clearly wasn’t expecting from him,

“He did, actually. He says he’s never been prouder… and I don’t think he’s ever been proud of me before now.”

Something like sympathy crossed her features before her brow furrowed once more.

“What’s the problem, then?” she asked, crossing her arms. “You finally got to return home and won your father’s respect. You have time for parties and even got a girlfriend in the process – well, _had_ a girlfriend. I don’t really care to know those particular details, but I take it even before your breakup, you still weren’t happy?”

Zuko wanted to glare at her but the mental toil of the entire day and his blowup at the party caught up with him. His shoulders slumped in defeat instead.

Meanwhile this girl who shouldn’t even know this much about his personal life – who was still his _enemy_ – was seeing straight through him and actually listening to him as he vented. He doubted she genuinely felt sorry for him or anything of that nature, but at least she was listening.

Unlike his actual girlfriend (sorry, _ex,_ he kept forgetting that detail) who shut him down immediately whenever he went off on one of his tangents, always citing how uncomfortable she was by his emotional outbursts.

The sheer absurdity of it all was not lost on him, either.

“No, I wasn’t happy, and I’m still not,” he admitted quietly, hanging his head. “I thought I’d feel better once I got home, but I don’t. If anything, I’m angrier than before and I don’t know why… and I don’t know _who_ I’m angry at, either.”

Katara remained silent, observing him with an unreadable expression in her gaze. He sighed and wiped his hands down his face, fully expecting her to attack while his eyes were closed.

If she wanted an out to escape, he was freely giving it to her just this once.

He was nothing short of stunned to see her still standing there, wearing a sad frown once his eyes opened moments later.

“You know, back in the crystal catacombs… I actually felt sorry for you,” she admitted quietly.

Zuko’s eyes narrowed.

“I don’t want or need your pity, Katara,” he grumbled.

“Don’t get used to it,” she retorted before her tone softened again while still retaining an edge. “It’s just… sometimes you seem like an actual human being with feelings, not like the angry jerk like you usually act like. Back then I could tell that you were genuinely hurt and confused…”

She trailed off, closing her eyes resolutely.

“But then you made your bed, and now you have to lie in it,” she continued, eyes narrowing at him. “You chose to be selfish and the rest of the world paid the price. I feel sorry for you, I really do.”

Zuko felt a rumble rising in his throat.

“Are you kidding me?” he fumed. “Don’t you dare… _you_ , feeling sorry for _me_?”

“Yes, I feel sorry for you because in spite of all the injustices you’ve seen, after everything you’ve been through, at the end of the day it’s still about getting glory for yourself,” she snapped, drawing the water back to coat her arms defensively. “You’re too busy wallowing around in self-pity to realize you’re not half the man you think that you are-”

“Shut up!” he snarled.

“You can’t see past your own misery and so you lash out, no matter who’s standing in the crossfire,” she continued angrily, ignoring him. “And no matter how much you try to distract yourself with parties and girlfriends, you’re never going to fill that hole inside your heart, especially if you keep acting like this.”

Flames rose from his fingertips, although he managed to rein in his fury for the time being.

“Like _what_?” he asked coldly.

Katara scoffed.

“I’m just saying, maybe there’s a reason why you’re not happy right now, even though you don’t want to admit it,” she countered. “Maybe you’re even wishing you could take back your decision from Ba Sing Se.”

He shook his head vehemently.

“Sorry to disappoint you, but I _don’t_ ,” he growled.

He certainly didn’t regret it or wonder what would have happened had he teamed up with her and the Avatar… did he?

“Of course you don’t,” she shot back. “That would mean you’d actually have to admit you were wrong all this time, and we both know that will never happen.”

“I wouldn’t expect you to understand,” he retorted. “I didn’t even care anymore by that point, Katara. I just wanted to go home and finally feel like I belonged somewhere again.”

Her ocean-blue eyes turned icy.

“And _there_ it is,” she snapped, extending her water-covered arms outward in exasperation. “No matter what, it’s all about you and what makes you happy, who cares about if the rest of the world burns? You even admitted that your evil father finally started acting like he gives a damn about you, and it’s still not enough. But do you want to know the main reason why I feel sorry for you?”

She pointedly ignored the smoke that was now rising from his nostrils as she continued raging on.

“It’s because you finally started to act like you had a conscience, just enough to let others get their hopes up and think that _maybe_ you weren’t so bad after all, only to let yourself and everyone else down when they needed you the most.”

Zuko took a step towards her, glaring down at her in the light of his flames. She stood her ground though, keeping her cold eyes fixed directly on his.

“It sounds to me like you took things way too personally,” he said with a sardonic grin. “I never claimed to be a saint, Katara, and I never once indicated that I would join your side. Why are you acting like I did? What gives you the right to judge me?”

She gritted her teeth and refused to budge, even as he moved even closer until they were standing a breath apart.

“It’s because I offered to do something completely selfless for you, and you repaid it by throwing it back in my face,” she said quietly but venomously. “I’m just glad I didn’t waste the spirit water on you after all.”

~*~*~

And there it was.

He blinked and let out a scoff.

“So that’s it, then,” he said, his voice flat and emotionless. “You’re mad because I got underneath your skin. Your bleeding heart decided that you had to put me back together, even though I never asked you to. That’s why you hate me.”

Katara visibly recoiled at the accusation, taking a step backwards.

“I don’t hate you,” she insisted.

He just shrugged his shoulders and allowed his flames to die down entirely as he took a step towards her.

“Could’ve fooled me.”

She shook her head.

“I don’t hate you,” she repeated. “I pity you.”

Zuko exhaled thin wisps of smoke, feeling his temper rise once more. 

“I told you, I don’t want your pity,” he said. 

“Then stop acting like it!” she hissed back. “Stop acting like a spoiled, whiny brat who can’t see past his own misery-”

With a snarl he surged forward, forcing her flush up against the walls of the house as he closed in around her. She attempted to retaliate but he was quicker, grabbing her wrists and pinning them on either side of her head.

The water in her hands splashed harmlessly to the ground, and no matter how hard she struggled, she couldn’t break free from his grip – without bending, he easily overpowered her physically.

She eventually stopped trying to escape his grasp and glared up at him.

“Let me go, Zuko,” she hissed, “or so help me-”

“You’ll do what?” he countered, dodging his hips just in time as she went for the expected low blow with her knee. “I’m not going to hurt you, but there’s something you need to understand right here, right now.”

Katara growled and tried to knee him once more, so he had no choice but to move even closer, forcing her feet apart so he could stand in between them until he was practically flush against her body, pinning her to the wall.

Her eyes widened at the sudden closeness, and he winced when he saw the fear in them.

“I’m not going to hurt you,” he repeated softly. “I know your opinion of me can’t possibly sink any lower, but at least give me some credit. I’m _not_ that kind of guy.”

She tilted her head towards one of her pinned wrists.

“Could’ve fooled me,” she spat. “Alright, fine. I’m your captive audience, and I’m listening. What do you want me to understand?”

He stared down at her in silence, noting that her trepidation from moments ago had vanished and been replaced by loathing and something else that made his stomach somersault, although he chose not to dwell on it right now.

“You’re treating me like I need to be saved,” he said, quietly but sternly. “Did it ever occur to you that I don’t want you to save me?”

She let out a sharp breath, her chest rising and falling, and as it was pressed up against his, Zuko’s own moved along with it, inhaling and exhaling together.

A million thoughts seemed to race through her mind as they stared each other down, although she didn’t voice any of them.

Instead she studied him with those devastatingly blue eyes that seemed to pierce right through his once more.

“I don’t need to be saved, and I wouldn’t want it even if I did,” he repeated. “I’m not your charity case or some poor soul who needs to be shown the error of their ways. I don’t need whatever closure you’re trying to offer.”

Katara said nothing, finally letting her head drop with a sigh, as if she were contemplating something. He didn’t release her wrists, although he loosened his viselike grip just enough to so he wasn’t squeezing them anymore.

“I would have done it back then, you know,” she said quietly. “Even if it didn’t work, at the very least, I would have tried to heal your scar, just like I would have healed your uncle if you’d have let me.”

He still remembered it vividly after all these months, the flutter of hope when her soft fingertips rested on his face and the overwhelming crush of disappointment when they were interrupted mere moments later.

Zuko also recalled the utter despair and fear that consumed him as he knelt beside his uncle’s still form, wiping back tears while he watched the old man’s chest rise and fall with difficulty.

That same hopelessness washed over him now for some reason, and he forced a rueful smile.

“I know you would have,” he agreed in a gentle tone that clearly caught her off guard. “Believe me, I do, and I appreciate it. That’s why I don’t want to hurt you.”

She exhaled slowly.

“Then let me go, Zuko.”

But he merely shook his head.

“Not until you tell me where you and your friends are hiding out in the Fire Nation. Not until you tell me where the Avatar is.”

Katara gawked at him in silence before her anger erupted and she struggled against him once more, not that it did any good.

“Are you _kidding_ me?” she shrieked, despite him urging her that she might want to keep it down. “How are we back to this point again? I already told you, Aang died because _you_ helped your sister kill him in Ba Sing Se.”

He tightened his grip on her wrists, glaring down at her.

“You’re lying,” he spat.

“I’m not lying,” she protested, her lower lip trembling as if she were about to cry, although he saw the look in her eyes that indicated it was all just for show. “Aang died that night, there’s no point-”

“Stop. Fucking. Lying,” he snapped. “Tell me where your group is hiding out at, or so help me I’ll-”

“What, are you going to tie me to a tree again?” she taunted with a gleam in her eyes. “The big bad firebender still can’t get me to talk or keep me under control, so he has to have me restrained? Well, I didn’t crack under pressure back then and I won’t now, no matter what you do to me.”

She was right, of course – her resolve was admirable, and nothing short of his sister’s cruelty would ever break her spirit and force a confession. But Zuko refused to stoop to Azula’s level, no matter how promptly it yielded results.

If he hadn’t known beforehand that she was trying to protect the Avatar’s location, her actions now all but confirmed it.

Zuko exhaled small flames along with dark smoke, although she still didn’t seem the least bit intimidated.

They’d both come a long way over the last few years, back when he’d easily terrorized her and the rest of her village.

Now, they were three years older and wiser, and she just glared up at him defiantly.

“All you’re doing is wasting my time and yours,” he gritted out through clenched teeth. “Just tell me where your group is hiding out at and I’ll let you go.”

“I’m not lying, your _highness_ ,” she retorted. “Unlike you, I don’t go around telling sob stories and making people feel sorry for me, only to stab them in the back. Aang died. You’re the one who’s wasting our time.”

How dare she keep lying straight to his face like that?

Zuko snarled, ducking his head until they were eye level with each other and mere inches separated their faces.

“How stupid do you think I am?” he roared. “I _know_ he’s still alive out there because you would’ve saved him with the spirit water. Otherwise there’s no reason why you would have traveled all the way here from the Earth-”

But he never found out what he planned to say next, because she surged forward without warning and her soft lips crashed against his, effectively silencing him.

~*~*~

The prince froze, golden eyes blown wide open as he stared down at the girl kissing him with all the affection of a lover, despite him still pinning her wrists beside her head.

His brain shut down entirely as his eyes closed, and his mouth opened against hers despite his better judgement.

Nothing about this whole situation made sense anymore. There was no point in trying to understand what was even happening.

So he kept his eyes shut and tried to control his racing heart while he stood motionless, allowing her to kiss him unhindered. She moaned softly against his mouth and he was tempted to answer it with a growl until he remembered himself.

Finally she pulled away and his body betrayed him, his lips instinctively following hers for just a moment.

She panted up at him triumphantly, a wicked smile overtaking her face once she saw how flustered she’d made him in such a short amount of time.

“What was that for?” he asked flatly, a small part of him wishing she’d do it again as knots formed in his stomach “Why did you kiss me?”

Katara batted her eyes up at him and put on her most innocent smile. No doubt she could convince other men to do her bidding with that look alone. The Avatar himself probably fell at her feet whenever she did that, worshipping her like the stupid lovestruck boy he was.

It wouldn’t work on him, though.

Zuko knew better than to fall for her tricks.

“What was _what_ for?” she asked coyly.

Then, while smirking directly at him, she deliberately pushed her hips forward, brushing them up against a part of his anatomy that he knew would always betray his more rational mind every single time.

_You lying little minx_ , he thought furiously as she did it again, biting her lower lip in a way that was too alluring and calculated to be accidental.

Back when he’d still been at sea, he had heard the sailors talk about women using their natural charm to seduce and trick them into giving up certain information or making them bend to their will, only to betray them and leave them brokenhearted in the process.

Honey traps, his men had called them – they were sweet and wonderful until they stung you, just like a bee.

And here was this liar and seductress, blatantly trying to make him cave to his baser instincts, all so she could trick him and escape.

Worst of all, he realized that she was succeeding. His grip on her wrists had loosened considerably, and now _he_ was the helpless one, completely at her mercy.

How _dare_ she. 

It was almost like she knew that it had been a minute since he’d last gotten off or hooked up with Mai prior to their breakup, so of course his body would comply with no objections, no matter how much his brain protested otherwise.

His teenage hormones were betraying him yet again, damn it, and all it took was a soft curvy girl grinding slowly against him.

Still, he had to give her credit – she had discovered a way to outwit him and turn his own body against him. This was just like the other times they’d sparred, except she had escalated things and ensured her inevitable victory by changing up the rules of the game.

Sure, it certainly felt much nicer than her previous attacks… _stop it_ , he admonished himself. _She’s only trying to mess with your head_.

Uncle had once said that waterbenders used the flow of their opponents’ own energy and strength against them, and this was no different.

“I know exactly what you’re doing,” he gritted out, willing himself not to rock his hips forward to meet hers. “It’s not going to work.”

That was a lie, and he was all too aware that she could feel her scheme working _extremely_ well.

She continued to taunt him, letting her warmth linger against his body long enough to make him all too aware of her absence whenever she pulled back.

“I have no clue what you’re talking about,” she said demurely, leaning forward to nip at his lips.

“Liar.”

Katara shrugged, recognizing that any attempts to play innocent from this point onward were futile.

“I’ll quit tormenting you, but only if you let me go.”

Stopping her hips from rocking up against his was the very last thing he wanted to do, even though he knew he was playing right into her trap.

It’s not like he hadn’t daydreamed of it happening with her before, anyways, even though they were still technically enemies. Zuko was stupid more often than he cared to admit, but he wasn’t blind.

Only a fool would see the way her skin glowed and looked practically ethereal under both moonlight and sunlight and not be affected by her beauty.

Only a fool would observe the curves of her body, see the way her ocean eyes sparkled whenever she was full of mirth or turned icy cold in fury and not find himself attracted to her.

Only a fool would listen to her speak and not envision himself making her moan ecstatically or dream of her whimpering out his name in a steady crescendo until it turned into a scream as she came apart, pulsing around him.

Then again, perhaps he was the biggest fool of all for actually entertaining those thoughts in the first place. 

Not that he would ever admit it aloud, of course, but he had secretly gotten off a handful of times while reimagining their sparring matches going much, _much_ differently – though only when he was completely alone in the darkest hours of the night.

It wouldn’t do for anyone else to learn that the Fire Prince was turned on by a certain waterbending master, after all.

Even though he’d redeemed himself by siding with Azula and helping her bring down the last stronghold of the Earth Kingdom, he assumed he was still somewhat of a disgrace in many people’s eyes.

There was no need to sully his own reputation any further.

Really, the fact that she was unknowingly taking advantage of that deep, dark secret of his and toying with him like her plaything, doing _something_ with her hips that felt _really fucking_ _good_ and he still hadn’t caved had to be nothing short of admirable. 

He also had to give himself some credit for not falling victim to her trap entirely – even though she completely had him at her mercy, at least he knew deep down that she was just using him.

As long as he remembered that detail, he could withstand whatever delicious torture she put him through.

Still, it was growing harder and harder to maintain control, to stop himself from caving in and taking her right there against the outer wall of his family’s old beach house…

…his loyalty to the Fire Nation and finding the Avatar’s hideout be damned.

~*~*~

Finally her teasing and breathy moans became too much and he abruptly stepped backwards with a growl, releasing her wrists entirely.

“You win,” he said hoarsely, crossing his arms over his chest almost defensively. “Get out of here before I change my mind.”

He refused to acknowledge the blatant evidence of her success just below his navel, pressing up against his shorts and surely visible for the whole world to see.

Katara leaned back against the wall, panting like she had earlier after their kiss. However, instead of a victorious smirk she now looked desperate, almost hungry.

He could have even sworn her eyes flickered downwards, no doubt to admire her handiwork and feeling extremely proud of herself for working him over with minimal effort.

“Thank you,” was all she said.

Had her voice raised an octave, or was his aroused mind playing tricks on him?

Still, she made no move to escape, watching his face curiously with those eyes that could drown a weaker man, but not him.

Why wasn’t she leaving?

The sooner she ran off, the sooner he could deal with his current… _predicament_ … that she was responsible for, and then hopefully he could forget this whole thing ever happened.

She stood straight up at last, drawing a ragged breath.

“I’m going now, and don’t you dare think about following me,” she threatened.

For once, he had no desire to do so.

“I won’t,” he grumbled, shifting his weight and glaring down at her. “You’ve left me with a bit of a problem, and I’m not going anywhere until it’s gone.”

“Good.”

Despite her declaration, though, she didn’t run off. Her eyes were huge and illuminated by the moonlight, reflecting the starlight above, her pupils blown wide open…

… wait a minute.

He smirked as he realized it and took a step towards her. She allowed herself to be backed up against the outside of the house once more, this time without protest and biting at her lower lip.

“Something the matter?” he taunted, caging her in by planting his palms flat against the wall on either side of her head, leaving enough room for her to slip away if she changed her mind.

Katara glowered up at him but made no move to run or escape. If he hadn’t been watching out for it, he would have missed the way her thighs rubbed together or how her fists balled up in her skirt hanging by her sides.

“I may have gotten a little carried away back there,” she mumbled as a blush rose across her cheeks, refusing to drop her gaze.

“And?” he prompted, relishing in the moment far more than he ought to.

“And it backfired,” she admitted. “Horribly.”

He didn’t even bother to suppress his smirk of triumph, grinning wolfishly as his hands settled on the curve of her hips and weren’t immediately swatted away. 

Zuko ducked his head and slowly, ever so slowly to allow her an escape if she wanted, kissed the side of her throat.

She didn’t push him off, though. In fact, she let out a breathy _oh_ that caused him to kiss that same spot again before latching onto it with his teeth, growling hungrily.

Her hands found their way up to his head and buried themselves in his long, shaggy hair, whimpering as he carefully sucked and nipped at the delicate skin of her neck.

Eventually he drew back and stared down into her eyes, gold boring into sapphire.

“Do you want me to keep going?” he asked, surprised at how guttural his voice had suddenly become. 

She hesitated for half a heartbeat before she nodded, her earnestness awakening something feral inside of him, and he planted a trail of kisses along the other side of her throat.

“Tell me when you want me to stop,” he added, almost as an afterthought, “and I promise I will.”

Katara nodded again, opening her mouth to say something. But he swooped in and cut her off, capturing her lips again and again until she was panting when he eventually pulled back for air.

_Good_.

It was her turn to be the one left breathless, he thought, grinning proudly against her mouth as he went in for another series of frantic kisses.

~*~*~

Her arms draped around his neck and her fingers tangled up in his hair once more, tugging slightly.

He wanted to reach out and grasp her, gripping her curves so tightly that his fingertips left bruises after ripping her clothes off entirely, but he forced himself to practice restraint.

Instead his hands slowly explored her body, palming her breasts experimentally and drawing a happy moan from her throat. He caressed the delicate skin just barely separated from his own by the thin fabric, never letting his lips leave hers. 

When his fingers attempted to slide underneath her top, however, she pulled away from the kiss and shook her head.

“Nuh-uh. Clothes stay on.”

Where was the fun in that? Still, he knew better than to protest – he had made her a promise, after all. So he simply nodded and withdrew his hands immediately, holding them up with his palms outwards in a show of compliance.

“As you wish.”

Katara’s mouth curled upwards into a hint of smile before she leaned forward and initiated another round of kisses. These were slower and more deliberate but no less intense than the passionate ones they’d exchanged before.

He had consumed her like an inferno earlier; now she was pulling him under her waves. Zuko had to admit her way felt just as nice as his had been and even allowed him a moment to clear his thoughts.

Not that he had the faintest idea why he was going along with this, kissing and stroking the girl who had been his enemy from the day they first met nearly three years ago, the one who constantly stood between him and his goal of capturing the Avatar.

She was not his girlfriend – sorry, his _ex_ -girlfriend now, he kept having to remind himself of that particular fact. He had loved Mai in his own way, of course (didn’t he?) and she reciprocated his feelings as well, as much as she could.

But Mai had ended things between them earlier that evening after yet another fight, so he owed nothing to her now.

Still, he supposed his actions now could be considered cheating in a sense, although he couldn’t bring himself to care.

Why should he?

He was not hers anymore.

Now he was simply using Katara just as much as she was using him, and Zuko had no feelings deeper than lust for the girl in his arms.

Yet he made sure that his teeth were careful not to draw blood when he nipped at her neck, placing tender kisses on each spot he bit down. His hands were gentle as he cupped her breasts, palming at them while she giggled almost shyly against his mouth each time.

She was not his girlfriend and had no true affection for him, although the way she kissed his mouth and the way her eyes fluttered open and gazed up into his from time to time suggested otherwise.

This was nothing more than a quick rash decision, they were simply venting steam and mutual frustrations. He had always thought she was pretty, and his stupid hormones told him this would help him feel catharsis at last once this finally ended.

Still, he could only take so much and was now growing desperate for some form of release, which wasn’t helped by her lips peppering kisses along his throat. Her fingers tugged at the sensitive hairs on the back of his neck, only adding to his torment.

Zuko had been on a downward mental spiral ever since Ba Sing Se; it seemed only fitting that he fully commit to full-on depravity with the waterbender who muddled his thoughts and made him feel even more confused than he already was. 

His hands slid down her sides, resting on the curve of her waist as he slowly and uncertainly rocked his hips forward, waiting for her to shove him away.

She didn’t.

Cautiously, he repeated the motion a few more times, and by the third she pushed back, reaching down and pulling his hips flush against hers, rocking forward to meet him each time.

Inspiration struck him – maybe there was a way around her stipulation of remaining clothed, after all.

“Do you trust me?” he murmured against her mouth.

She responded by pulling back and raising her eyebrow.

“Right, dumb question,” he conceded sheepishly. “Of course not. I guess what I should’ve asked was, can I try something?”

Katara eyed him warily but nodded after a moment’s consideration.

Then she let out a squeak of surprise when she suddenly became weightless as he gripped the back of her thighs and hoisted Katara up, her legs wrapping around his waist instinctively.

Her back rested against the walls of the house, balancing her weight out comfortably on his hips, and he tried not to think about how perfectly she fit against him like this.

Zuko swallowed and adjusted his grip on her, slotting his hips between hers and aligning them at exactly the right angle. She realized what he was doing, and her breath hitched in her throat, her blue eyes nearly overtaken by black.

He waited for what seemed like an eternity for her permission to continue, outright panting as she debated internally.

No doubt she could feel all of him, yearning and pressed flushed up against her, just as he could feel her warm dampness surrounding him, even through the fabric separating them both.

At long last she let out a ragged breath and nodded slowly, panting as she draped her arms around his neck to pull him closer. He ducked his head and rolled his hips against hers once, a surge of pride swelling in his chest at the high-pitched _oh_ that escaped her mouth beside his ear.

Suppressing a smirk, he pulled his head back to gauge her reaction. As heavenly as that felt just now, if she looked scared or uncertain he would set her back down immediately.

However, he received a half-lidded grin instead, followed by the cutest pout he had ever seen in his entire life.

“Why’d you stop?” she breathed.

“Just making sure you still wanted to…” he began before she cut him off with an abrupt kiss.

Her thighs squeezed around him, urging him on. So he repeated the movement, groaning against her mouth as he rocked up against her again and again, seeking warmth and relief only she could give.

His fears that she would change her mind quickly faded as whispers of _please_ and _right there_ and _don’t stop_ flowed from her lips into his ruined ear, sweeter than a song.

Who was he to deny the beautiful girl in his arms, who’d so easily tempted him to utter ruin?

So he did as she begged, pressing harder against the cradle of her hips and letting her feel exactly what she’d done to him earlier and just how frenzied she’d made him. 

She let out a series of quiet _ohs_ and moans with each thrust, and those soon turned into whimpering once he latched onto her throat again, bringing out his teeth and allowing himself to be rougher than before.

Again, he expected her to push him away or protest the harder he sucked and bit her soft flesh, but if anything, she only whispered out stilted words of encouragement.

~*~*~

After this was all over, they would go their separate ways until their paths inevitably crossed once more.

And he wanted to send her back to her friends with his mark branded all across her neck, as proof of what they’d done for the whole world to see.

Let everyone know exactly what she’d done to him tonight and just how effortlessly she’d made him her plaything, with little more than a roll of her hips and taunting kisses from her perfect mouth.

Let them all see how she’d teased and tormented and seduced him until he was feverishly rutting against her and pinning her to the wall, his speech reduced to growls and whimpers like a mindless beast.

Maybe even her precious Avatar would see the marks and understand _exactly_ what they meant, knowing that the girl he harbored not-so-secret feelings for ever since his awakening had all but fucked his sworn enemy.

It’d serve him right, too, especially after that glare he’d thrown his way back in the crystal catacombs, right after they’d been found by him and his uncle. The second the walls collapsed the monk had rushed over and hugged her possessively, ruining what could have been the prince’s only opportunity to be rid of his scar.

Zuko had seen the way the Avatar constantly watched Katara during their encounters over the last three years, probably thinking no one else noticed.

The Avatar was what, fifteen now, not including the near century he’d been trapped in the iceberg? Surely he was old enough to know what the dark uneven splotches on her neck signified.

Maybe it would break his spirit entirely, or perhaps he might actually discover his inner fire at last. He was much too timid to be a firebender, master of all four elements or not. If anything, Zuko was doing him a favor.

At least, that’s what he told himself.

It was hard to think with Katara crying out for more beside his ear in a state of pure ecstasy, after all.

She’d be furious if she knew the dark thoughts swirling around in his head right now, so he kept them to himself.

Everyone outside of the Fire Nation already considered him to be a monster; let him be completely wicked then and play the part to perfection.

~*~*~

She broke her own rule minutes later as her hands slipped underneath his open vest and dragged her nails down his back hard enough to draw blood.

Not that he particularly minded, pausing long enough to let her slip it off altogether and leaving him shirtless before resuming.

He was so close now that if she did change her mind and both stripped down entirely, he’d probably come undone before he even had the chance to sink inside her.

So he gritted his teeth and held on for as long as he could, thrusting upwards roughly and deliberately, drawing a series of moans from her throat each time.

“Harder,” she croaked out, her nails digging crescent-shaped marks into his back. “Please, Zuko, _harder_.”

It was a shame they could never be together as an actual couple outside of this moment, he mused. As odd as it sounded… despite their difference in background and class, she had proven to be his equal time and time again.

He thought she would cower or run off once he retaliated by kissing her back, using her own attacks against her, and he had been positive that he’d call her bluff eventually.

Instead, she had met his ferocity just as hungrily and matched it with her own, which he hadn’t expected at all. 

That was the danger with Katara, though. Anyone who underestimated her would quickly find themselves proven wrong, whether by a water whip or her wits or a combination of both.

“You’re insatiable, aren’t you?” he chuckled beside her ear, granting her request to the best of his ability and was rewarded with a series of high-pitched _oh_ s that spurred him on.

She managed a scoff, even as her face contorted into a look of bliss thanks to an especially rough thrust that landed in exactly the right spot.

“You started it,” she retorted. “Pinning me up against the wall and everything.”

“Actually, you’re the one who kissed me first and then flat-out seduced me,” he countered. “I don’t hear you complaining about it, either.” 

Katara glared down at him, sharply raking her nails down his lower back in retaliation, causing him to hiss.

She could do that as many times as she wanted – he certainly wasn’t going to protest.

“Call it even?” he offered with his most disarming smile.

“Never,” she shot back.

He grinned and ducked his head, concentrating on drawing whimpers from her lips once more. If this was yet another one of their sparring sessions, he’d be all too happy letting her win… at least this time.

~*~*~

Eventually he slowed down, allowing them both to catch their breath, nipping at the bruises around her neck that now bloomed there like garden of flowers.

Katara’s head hung over his shoulder, gasping and trembling. He adjusted his hold on her and braced one hand against her lower back, the other against the wall for support.

His legs were shaking, although he managed to control them for the time being. Almost by instinct he rested his forehead against hers, panting as his gaze met hers and held it.

“Are you sure you don’t want to-”

Katara immediately shook her head.

“Clothes stay _on_.”

“Just thought I’d ask.”

He was so close now, so wound up and outright aching for release that all it would take was a few more minutes before he’d fall over the edge. Yet as her breathing slowed down, he could tell that she would easily outlast him, if the flashing in her eyes was any indication.

Maybe he could convince her to disregard her clothes-on rule if he promised to focus solely on her, he thought with a wicked grin.

The thought of him burying his head between her legs and making her come undone that way suddenly sounded tempting, although it wouldn’t address his own problem.

But that would require kneeling before her in submission, he realized, and he submitted to no one save for the Fire Lord himself. He was the crown prince, and the list of people he knelt for on his own terms was short indeed.

Still, though, he imagined resting one of her legs atop his shoulder to grant him easier access, her soft hands fisting his hair and mewling his name as his mouth and hands worshipped her.

Maybe she’d be so grateful that she’d even reciprocate? The mental image of her on her knees, teasing and taking him in her mouth until he shuddered, his legs buckling as he _finally_ found release was enough to make him want to tilt over the edge right then and there…

Settle down, settle down.

They didn’t have time for all of that, not with his sister and her friends somewhere on the island. For all he knew, they might even be headed this way.

As horrible as it sounded, he almost didn’t even care if he got caught – let them see how depraved he’d become by a pair of ocean-colored eyes that pulled him under the waves with little resistance.

He imagined a disgusted but knowing smirk on his sister’s face, a horrified gasp of shock from Ty Lee, and cold fury as well as a look of betrayal from Mai.

Hell, nothing in his life made sense anymore.

Might as well let them see how far he’d truly fallen after all.

But then Katara would be captured and undoubtedly tortured, and he couldn’t let that happen to her. He didn’t care what happened to her friends or the Avatar in the long run, but when he thought of her imprisoned and at the cruel mercy of his father, much less his sister…

Zuko preferred not to dwell on why he felt the need to protect an enemy like that or why the thought of her being in pain brought on an ache in his chest.

So he concentrated on kissing all around her neck instead, closing his eyes as she moaned appreciatively and imagined she was underneath him, surrounded by the silk sheets of his bed.

~*~*~

His arms began shaking from the effort of holding her up, yet he couldn’t bring himself to let her go. She noticed him trembling, though, and she let out a sigh.

“Put me down, Zuko,” she said quietly.

Reluctantly he did as she said, resting his forearms against the wall on either side of her head. He allowed enough space for her to dip under them and make a run for it, although she remained steadfast, her hands still wrapped around his lower back.

Both were silent, staring into each other’s eyes as they contemplated their next steps.

“What are we even doing?” she asked, tracing circles on his bare back with her fingernails.

He wasn’t sure how to answer, so he rested his forehead against hers once more, drinking in the sight of her because something told him that he didn’t have much longer to do so.

“I didn’t plan on all of this to happen,” she continued sadly. “I don’t even know how I got all the way out here, to be honest… one minute I was falling asleep at camp with the others an ocean away, the next I woke up in the grassy fields over there.”

She gestured to the cliffs that overlooked the beach, and he frowned in confusion.

Had he been too rough earlier, somehow giving her a concussion while slamming her back against the wall?

But no, she seemed lucid enough…

“That doesn’t make any sense,” he said.

“No, it doesn’t,” she agreed. “At first I assumed it was all just a vivid dream, but now…”

Katara trailed off and bit her lip.

“That’s why I didn’t hesitate to kiss you earlier, when I was trying to trick you into letting me go,” she admitted, blushing. “Or anything else that we’ve done tonight, actually. I didn’t think it was real.”

His eyes were half closed as he leaned his head down to kiss her neck again – there was something irresistible about kissing her there, and he couldn’t help himself.

“Does this feel real enough to you?” he murmured, smirking as she let out a breathy moan of appreciation. “Because I’m pretty sure I’m not dreaming, Katara.”

She whimpered as his arms wrapped around her body, hugging her gently like she was _his_ girl, not his longtime enemy.

“I don’t know anymore,” she confessed, resting her head against his shoulder. “If it’s a dream, what does it say about me? And if it’s not, where do we go from here?”

He pondered this, unwilling to let her go just yet.

“On one hand, you just admitted that you dreamed about seducing me-”

A quick swat on his arm and glare from her only made him chuckle. He did love riling her up and seeing how she punished him.

“If it makes you feel any better,” he admitted between kisses against her throat, “I’ve dreamed about us doing something like this before. Several times, as a matter of fact.”

Her head tilted to the side, and the corners of her lips turned upwards.

“Seriously?”

He shrugged and didn’t even attempt to appear apologetic about it either.

“Can you blame me?” he whispered, trailing kisses up to her mouth. “Even though we’ve always been on different sides, I’d have to be blind to not see how beautiful you are, even when we were fighting each other.”

Her cheeks blushed, even though she tried to act like his words hadn’t affected her.

“Even when I beat you those times at the North Pole?”

He smirked and gave her a long, lingering kiss.

“ _Especially_ during those times,” he murmured almost happily when they broke apart.

Katara sighed again and looked up at him with hopeful eyes.

“You could always come with me, you know,” she breathed. “Aang needs a firebending teacher.”

“So he _is_ alive,” Zuko said, raising his eyebrow in mock disappointment. “Even though you insisted he wasn’t.”

She shrugged.

“For what it’s worth, I only said he died that night, which he actually did – and it took every drop of the spirit water to bring him back,” she countered. “But listen… you said yourself that you’re not happy here. Why not come with me and help us…”

Her voice trailed off when he shook his head ruefully.

“I can’t do that,” he said quietly. “I couldn’t turn my back on my father or my country, even if I wanted to. It’s my destiny to capture the Avatar and be crowned Fire Lord one day, and I can’t do that if I’m branded a traitor.”

She winced and looked off to the side, internally debating for a long moment.

“Would you do it for me?” she asked quietly, tilting her chin up at him.

Once again he shook his head, although this time he hesitated for a heartbeat before doing so.

“I can’t,” he said, ignoring the pain in his heart upon seeing the disappointed look on her face.

_… but I wish I could._

Katara nodded and sighed, delicately extracting herself from his arms.

“Well, then,” she said brusquely. “I think it’s best we go our separate ways then. Agreed?”

Why did he want to protest and hold her longer? All the same, he found himself repeating it back to her, forcing himself to nod, although his head felt heavy.

“Also… regardless of whether or not this is a dream or really happening… I don’t plan on _ever_ telling anyone else about what happened here tonight. You?”

He shook his head, declining to point out that the lovebites all over her neck were a dead giveaway for what they’d done. Maybe she didn’t realize how prominent they were? Still, she had healing abilities, so he didn’t feel _too_ guilty about marking her up like that.

“So, um… I guess this is goodbye?” she started, her tone uncertain. “I don’t know how I’m going to get back to-”

He cut her off with a desperate kiss, grasping her hips and drawing her flush against him once more.

To hell with the consequences or his better judgement, he thought bitterly. To hell with it all.

~*~*~

A rush of pride surged through him as she instantly reciprocated, not withdrawing like he had feared.

She leapt back into his arms and wrapped her legs around his waist like they belonged there, and he backed her up against the wall once again.

“I’m sorry, I can’t let you leave, I just…” he gritted out, rocking against her desperately. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me, but I can’t let you go.”

_I need you too much_ , he wanted to say, although he couldn’t tell if it was purely physical anymore or if his heart might actually burn itself to a crisp if he had to watch her walk away again.

The rational part of his mind told him he should be ashamed that she’d made such a pathetic mess of him, that he was reduced to shamelessly grinding against his longtime enemy in a desperate attempt for release, that he wanted _her_ so badly that his chest ached…

…but he couldn’t bring himself to care just now.

Her fingers tangled up in his hair, tugging at it and choking back cries of euphoria as he pressed himself flush against her. He stayed there for several heartbeats before pulling back and repeating the motion over and over.

Zuko would have given almost anything if they could stay like this forever, just the two of them, to hell with their opposing allegiances…

“You have to,” she breathed, planting a kiss beside his ear. “We both know I can’t stay here with you… but you _can_ come with me, Zuko. Please?”

His entire understanding of the world was entirely upended; the only thing that made sense anymore was Katara, so he pressed surprisingly delicate kisses all over her face.

He considered just what the consequences would be if he actually went with her, if he turned his back on his father and country, branding himself as a traitor.

Would it really be so bad, after all, especially if he got to stay with Katara?

His mouth opened, and he was dangerously close to actually saying _yes_ before another voice interrupted him and made his blood run cold.

“Zuzu! I know you’re hiding somewhere around here, where are you?”

~*~*~

To his dismay, Katara hadn’t jumped at the sound of his sister’s imminent approach. In fact, she acted like she didn’t even hear it, as she continued whimpering and nipping at his throat.

He immediately set her back down on her feet and nudged her frantically.

“You have to get out of here,” he hissed, his head swiveling in all directions as he tried to figure out where Azula was coming from. “Quickly, before she gets here and sees you.”

Katara’s eyes narrowed.

“What are you talking about?”

“Zuzu! Come on, I haven’t got all night.”

His head whipped around in the direction of the sound, noting that it seemed even closer than before.

He guessed which direction Azula was coming from and placed himself as a barrier between her and Katara, ready to fight his sister off if it came to that… 

“You’ve got to _go_ ,” he urged again over his shoulder. “Can’t you hear my sister? If she catches you, she won’t show you any mercy…”

He trailed off as Katara shook her head, confused.

“I don’t hear her,” she said, brow furrowing. “Are you sure she’s here?”

There was a rustling in the thicket nearby, and his heart lurched, as it seemed to drop straight into his stomach.

He turned around just in time to see Azula’s form emerge in the darkness.

“ _There_ you are, Zuzu!” she sneered before conjuring up a bolt of cruel, crackling lightning.

~*~*~

Zuko awoke with a start, lifting his chin off of his chest and dropping the stone imprint of his child-sized hand to the hard floor below, where it landed with a thud.

What the hell just happened? Where was Katara?

His vest was still on and the strings were tied securely, and nothing about the rest of his clothing seemed to be amiss.

Why had he… what was going on?

“I thought I'd find you here.”

His head whipped upwards to see his sister standing off to the side on the steps leading up to the porch, eyeing him with a look that was equal parts amusement and sympathy.

And notably, without a trace of lightning in sight.

He quickly took stock of his surroundings as he willed his heartbeat to slow down.

By all appearances he seemed to still be leaning back against the pillar from earlier. Based on the position of the stars and moon overhead, not much time had passed since he initially sat down.

_None of it was real_ …

Zuko wiped his hand down his face and groaned.

“How long have you been standing there?” he asked, trying to make sense of it all.

Azula tilted her head, raising her eyebrow.

“Not even a minute. After you stormed out of the party earlier, the girls and I decided to give you some space before we went to come look for you. They’re waiting down at the beach, and I just discovered you hiding out up here.”

That seemed logical enough to his muddled brain, he supposed.

So all of that stuff with Katara… the way he’d fallen victim to her seductions and taunts and actually considered defiling himself by wanting to…

… it had all been nothing more than a dream.

She had never been here; his mind had been playing tricks on him or something, merely the combination of his confused thoughts brought on by a general lack of sleep and raging teenage hormones.

He wasn’t sure whether he was relieved by that discovery or not.

“And you seemed to be having another nightmare,” she continued, resting her hands on her hips.

Towards the end of his dream, he had been overcome by an urge to protect the waterbender from falling into his sister’s clutches, lest a horrific fate befall her.

Zuko didn’t want to think any harder about what that could possibly mean, either.

So he nodded and focused on the small imprint in the stone instead, wondering how his hand could have ever been so tiny at one point.

“It’s all the memories catching up to me,” he said, which wasn’t technically a lie. “Those summers we spent here seem so long ago. So much has changed.”

His sister’s lips twitched into a frown, and for a moment she seemed almost sympathetic towards him.

“Come down to the beach with me,” she said in an uncharacteristically gentle tone. “Come on. This place is depressing.”

She received no protests or complaints from him. The sooner he got away from here, the better.

He groaned as he pushed his back off of the pillar, though, and his eyes widened in realization and horror.

~*~*~

Katara panted as she clung to Aang, shivering despite the warm night air that she and their group had grown used to once they started hiding out in the Fire Nation.

Nearby, Toph gripped the side of Appa’s saddle so tightly that her knuckles turned white, while Sokka hurriedly steered the air bison away from their now demolished camp.

The waterbender hardly dared to breathe until they were safely out of range of the strange man who’d snuck up on them in the middle of the night and somehow managed to attack them with some form of combustion, using only his mind.

Fortunately, none of them had gotten seriously injured during the impromptu fight, only shaken up with minor bruises and scratches.

Still, after that horrific encounter and the weird dream she’d been having right before Toph had frantically woken them all up, Katara was in no hurry to let go of her friend, who seemed just as shaken up as she was.

“I’m okay,” Aang panted out, reaching out to scratch Momo’s ear as the lemur leapt to perch on his shoulder. “Is anyone else hurt?”

A quick chorus of no’s from herself and the others did little to calm her heart down as it pounded away in her chest.

The Avatar noticed and pulled her in for a close hug, and Katara let him, feeling her shoulders relax as her skin met his.

“Hey, it’s going to be alright,” he soothed, uncertainly reaching out to stroke her hair. “No one got injured, and once we put enough distance between us and him, we’ll land somewhere safe and go back to sleep.”

Katara sighed, resting her head on Aang’s shoulder and nodded before she pulled back to smile at him, feeling comforted already…

… that is, until his gaze drifted downwards from hers and his gray eyes widened in alarm and suspicion.

“Katara, what happened to your neck?”

~*~*~

His sister stopped walking away in the darkness and turned back around, waiting for him to catch up.

“It doesn’t surprise me that your back is sore, not if you fell asleep sitting up like that,” Azula said, gesturing for him to follow her. “Walk it off, and you’ll feel better in no time.”

Zuko’s hand was shaking as he reached behind him, sliding it underneath his vest and suppressing a gasp.

Sure enough, his fingers touched the markings stretching down the length of his bare back, exactly the thickness and depth as if someone raked their nails across his skin.

How was that even possible?

Did that mean he had… was Katara really…

…but he couldn’t afford to dwell on those thoughts anymore. It was best if he forgot about them altogether, preferably as soon as possible.

“You’re right,” he gritted out, pushing himself up to a standing position with a groan and forcing himself to clear his head. “I just need to walk it off…”

~*~*~

Katara’s heart seemed to stop entirely and her blood ran cold, as her fingers slowly crept upwards and gingerly reached out to touch her throat.

It couldn’t be, she had been dreaming earlier, there was no way…

She let out a gasp, followed by a hiss of pain as the pads of her fingertips touched the multitude of dark purple bruises that now decorated her neck.

Suddenly, _everything_ about her dream involving the Fire Prince came rushing back to her – the fight, the earnest conversations in the dark, the way she’d willingly kissed him and shamelessly mewled for more as he rutted against her, the almost affectionate look in those golden eyes as he’d smiled down at her…

… how she’d been mere minutes away from throwing all caution to the wind and stripping down, all so she could willingly allow her longtime enemy to take her under the moonlight…

…how she had genuinely _wanted_ to pull him into her body, envisioning herself whimpering and writhing beneath Zuko until he finally lost control altogether and roughly slammed his hips into hers one last time, gasping out her name above her in rapture…

… at least, that was until he’d panicked moments later and frantically urged her to run, because Azula was on her way towards them, somewhere out in the darkness, and he wanted to protect her from harm, even using his own body as a shield…

But that was _impossible_ , Katara told herself, there was no way any of that could have been real… how could it have happened, she had been sleeping in the camp the entire time, hadn’t she?

Surely Toph would have noticed if her body suddenly disappeared in the middle of the night.

Right?

Still, the bitemarks adorning her throat left little room for doubt and served as damning evidence. Not to mention, the area between her thighs did seem more tender than usual…

… that _bastard_.

She was going to _kill_ Zuko the next time she saw him.

~*~*~

He reconciled with Mai later that evening beside the campfire, and they picked up their relationship right where they left off, as if nothing had changed.

Yet he turned down her subsequent invitations to share her bed, at least until the scratches on his back healed and eventually faded.

Even so, whenever they came together he sometimes saw flashes of blue eyes haunting him as he finished shuddering and gasping, although he pretended it was because of the girl in his arms instead.

Sometimes he even imagined how different things could have been, if he’d only followed their owner back in the crystal catacombs.

Still, he managed to convince himself that it had been nothing more than a dream, somehow...

... that is, until he found himself back on Ember Island some months later, when he dropped Katara off at his family’s beach house.

_Oh_ , he thought weakly as both stopped dead in their tracks at the same time upon seeing an all-too familiar outer wall.

Suspicion and confusion washed over their faces as they could only stare at each other in silence, neither wanting to be the first to speak.

So it _hadn’t_ been just a dream, after all.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Initially, I was going to dive right into the scene of their confrontation at the Western Air Temple, with a handful of lines regarding Katara's inner monologue and thoughts from that night. Then I was going to go directly to their return to the beach house and the moment they realized it *wasn't* just a dream... 
> 
> But then I realized I needed to explore / explain Katara's actions from the first chapter a bit more in depth, which also altered the way I wrote out their eventual confrontation. Hence why this update isn't quite as long, but the next one should be longer. 
> 
> (I say "not a long update" about a chapter that's still 7K+ words...)
> 
> Anyways! No time frame yet on when the next chapter will be up, but they will hash things out after returning to the beach house, and it will be just as heated as you'd expect. I also went back and took out a phrase towards the end of the first chapter to better flow with how I see the story progressing.
> 
> (And yes, I do like including song lyrics at the beginning of my fics and chapters far more than I should. That’s just how I roll, y’all.)

_I can be your reckless, you can be my stain,  
I can be your heartache, you can be my shame..._

[ _Dark Side – Bishop Briggs_ ](https://youtu.be/akrnJEjUUm4)

* * *

Katara hadn’t wanted to say yes to the Fire Prince joining their group when he showed up unexpectedly at the Western Air Temple, she really hadn’t.

She didn’t trust him, for one, especially not after all he had done over the last three years.

Ever since she and Sokka discovered Aang and Appa frozen in an iceberg that fateful day back when she’d been only fourteen, the prince had been a constant thorn in their sides.

For starters, there were all the times he’d tried to capture the Avatar and threatened the world’s last hope for peace, not to mention terrorizing her village shortly after his arrival in the Southern Water Tribe.

Those had been bad enough, but then he’d had to go and make things personal, using her late mother’s lost necklace – _only_ her most valuable possession – as a bargaining chip, not to mention their duels at the North Pole.

Worst of all, though, was their encounter in the crystal catacombs under Ba Sing Se some months prior, when he’d convinced her somehow that he wasn’t a complete monster, that he too mourned for his lost mother.

And like a fool, she bought it.

Even worse, she willingly offered to use the precious spirit water gifted to her from the Northern Water Tribe to heal his scar.

At least Aang and Iroh had interrupted them when they had, otherwise she would have wasted it on that ungrateful snake and the Avatar cycle would have ended permanently that night.

Katara had thought her opinion of the prince couldn’t sink any lower, but that was before she had the strange dream of meeting him one night at a place called Ember Island.

~*~*~

Nothing seemed out of the ordinary that evening when she went to bed, curled up in her sleeping bag near the others.

At some point though she’d woken up and noticed that her surroundings looked vastly different than she remembered.

For one, the others were gone entirely and she was all alone.

She also discovered that she was wearing her Fire Nation disguise and her hair was styled, even though she'd stripped down to her sarashi and let her hair loose when she'd gone to bed.

Then she realized that she was lying in a grassy field that seemed to be overlooking the sea, as she smelled salt in the air and sensed her element calling out to her. Off to the distance was a cliff and an abandoned house in the darkness.

As she’d had no other options, Katara had ventured over to the house, silently peeking through the windows to get some idea of where she had been transported in the middle of the night with no warning.

That was where _he_ came in.

She didn’t know what she’d done to earn the spirits’ ire, but they did seem to enjoy pitting her against the Fire Prince more often than not, even in the most unlikely of places.

Like a seemingly empty house overlooking the beach in the middle of the night, even though there was no logical explanation for how she’d gotten there in the first place.

So while it may not have been the most rational decision on her part, she had assumed it was all just a vivid dream – that, or she’d died and gone to some afterlife and was now being punished by putting up with his royal grouchiness for the rest of eternity.

Why that was her particular torment was beyond her, but it was effective, as just the sight of his stupid face made her want to slap him upon instinct.

At some point during their ensuing discussion and argument she learned the name of the island they were currently on, and that just made her more convinced that she was dreaming.

Their group had recently left Master Piandao’s castle in Shu Jing, and while she didn’t have the best grasp of Fire Nation geography, she knew enough to realize that somehow, someway, she’d been transported across an entire sea dividing the two locations.

Is it any wonder why she chose to believe it was all a dream, that none of this was real?

Regardless, Katara decided to make the most of this opportunity, verbally tearing into the prince for all of the misery that his selfishness had caused. The Earth Kingdom had fallen to the Fire Nation at last, no thanks to him, and here he was whining about going to terrible parties and breaking up with his girlfriend like a petulant child. 

Poor thing. Her heart was _truly_ breaking for him after hearing all of _his_ misfortunes.

But as she continued railing against him, she landed a retort that apparently hit too close to home. When she brought up his father and how the Fire Lord must have been oh-so-proud of his son at last, he had visibly winced, whether he realized it or not.

The details behind Zuko’s banishment were still mostly unclear to her, but she had gathered that he had done something to anger his father, leading to the prince being sent into exile until he returned with the Avatar in tow.

Katara did genuinely feel sorry for him on some level, she really did – while her own relationship with her father was imperfect, at least she never doubted the chief’s love for her and Sokka, and she knew he would never treat them so cruelly.

Still, sympathy for the devil (or rather, son of the devil in this case) was what led to her almost giving up the precious spirit water in the first place, so she suppressed whatever instincts she had to provide words of comfort.

He had forfeited all future empathy from her the moment he sided with his cruel sister back in the catacombs. 

~*~*~

As they argued that night in the darkness, the prince had been so insistent that she give up Aang’s location, no doubt assuming that her group was hiding out nearby.

The joke was ultimately on him, though, as she had no clue if they were even still back at the camp. If she'd been transported across the sea, who's to say a similar fate hadn't befallen the others? Besides, if they hadn’t, they'd be long gone searching for her before Zuko made it over there, anyways.

So she’d gotten entirely too much satisfaction egging him on and getting under his skin, especially once he snarled in frustration and pinned her to the wall.

However, that posed a dilemma for her – while she ultimately didn’t believe he was capable of taking advantage of anyone in a compromising situation like the one he’d put her in, she was still hopelessly trapped and unable to bend water.

Perhaps if she did something completely crazy, it would snap her out of this perplexing dream altogether. At the very least, it could distract him and provide her a chance to escape his evil clutches.

So she kissed him.

And if she was being completely honest with herself she didn’t even hate it, especially once he got over his initial shock and started kissing her _back_.

His lips were warm and slightly chapped, as one would expect from a firebender, and he seemed shy as his mouth opened against hers, almost meek while letting her take the lead.

It was quite nice, actually.

Had they been anyone else in a different situation, it could have even been considered romantic.

Unfortunately despite the dazed look in his eyes afterwards that hadn’t done the trick, as he still maintained his grip on her wrists.

Katara had one other ace up her sleeve, though, and it was the riskiest gambit of all. Still, it was the only option she had left, and as this was all a very weird dream, maybe this would finally cause her to wake up.

And she _might_ have been a bit curious to see where it led, although she’d never admit it out loud.

She wanted to freeze him solid more often than not, but she was all too aware of how attractive he was, especially once he’d gotten rid of that hideous ponytail and started growing his hair out.

(Even though it was entirely too long and shaggy right now, in her humble opinion, and he desperately needed a haircut or to at least tie it back.)

She wasn’t proud to admit it, but she had noticed on more than one occasion just how strong he was, especially whenever his arm muscles flexed during their duels and how his body twisted and turned while firebending.

And here he was, his lean frame pressed flush against hers, his bare chest barely concealed by an open vest and wearing loose, thin shorts that allowed her to feel all of him.

Stupid pretty-boy princes who brooded and brought about the end of the world, just so they could gain glory for themselves.

He thought he could control her?

Ha!

 _Please_.

If nothing else, this could be her ultimate payback, leaving him desperate and aching with no chance of release either, not without letting go of her wrists.

Jet had once referred to the sensation as blue balls or something crude like that, assuring her that _nothing_ was crueler than deliberately turning a guy on and denying him the chance to alleviate the pressure.

So she slowly, deliberately rocked her hips forward so they met Zuko’s, brushing up against her intended target unhindered. 

Once again, she was shocked that she didn’t outright hate it either, especially once she built up a steady rhythm and his body started… _responding_.

That was to be expected; he was just like any other nineteen-year-old boy with raging hormones. In no time at all she’d have him so worked up and begging for relief that he’d get flustered and have no choice but to let her go.

It was a risky move, of course. Had it been anyone else she would have hesitated against using her charms and body as a weapon like that, especially since the potential for her target to overpower and take advantage of her would be far greater.

But this was _Zuko_ , she reasoned. He may have been an evil prince from an evil family who terrorized the rest of the world without remorse, but even he was far too honorable to stoop that low.

Being a prince and all, he probably thought the action would be beneath him, too.

Not to mention, his reaction had been _fascinating_ as she worked against him.

~*~*~

At first he’d been indigent and on his guard, as she’d expected. He wasn’t stupid, despite how many foolhardy and hasty decisions he made during all of their encounters.

No matter, all she had to do was lightly wiggle her hips whenever she rocked forward, brushing even closer up against him while letting out soft, breathy moans to mess with him even further.

Back when she’d been younger and far more gullible, she had been sweet-talked by Jet during their stay with him and the Freedom Fighters, eventually letting him convince her to sleep in his bed that last night.

Although it had been pleasant enough at the time, she harbored no fond memories of that experience now, considering her naïve, girlish illusions about him had been shattered the very next day once she discovered his plan to flood the Fire Nation village.

Still, she remembered how much he’d praised her during and after her first and second times, and how he claimed the sounds of her sweet whimpers drove him absolutely mad, apparently even speeding up the process.

While she had learned from her mistake since then and hadn’t opened up to anyone else like that, she still held on to that particular knowledge.

She even decided to salvage her mistake by storing it away in her arsenal should she ever find herself in a situation where she’d need to use it again, whether as a weapon or strictly for pleasure.

Hence why she had few qualms using it against one especially aroused Fire Prince now, even playing it up more than necessary. Not that he noticed, of course, as his attention was currently focused on the situation below his belt.

Soon he stopped fighting his urges and better judgement altogether and finally gave in to his baser instincts, panting and whining each time she teased him.

Then as she continued on her mission, she discovered just how frantic she was capable of making him with her hips alone. His eyes glazed over and closed from time to time, letting out needy groans and throaty whimpers, whether he realized it or not.

Meanwhile she kept up the steady pace, like waves washing back and forth over the shore. She _would_ drown him and emerge victorious by the time this was all through, no matter what it took.

It was only a dream, after all. It’s not like any of this was real.

Even if it was really happening somehow, she at least was getting a rather mean sense of satisfaction working him over and making him miserable in the process, teasing him with something he would never receive from her.

Was it fighting dirty?

Yes.

Did she care after everything he’d put her and the others through?

Not in the slightest.

But then, something completely unexpected and unfortunate occurred, something she did not see coming at all.

Somewhere amidst Zuko’s labored breathing and whines as the cradle of her hips pressed flush against the hardest part of his body and taunted him with her warmth, Katara’s plan started to backfire.

 _Horribly_.

~*~*~

If there was one drawback to having the world’s greatest earthbender constantly around, it’s that Toph always knew about everything that happened around her, so long as it occurred on stone or earth, thanks to her seismic sense.

Which posed a problem for the more private, personal matters, particularly if Katara was craving some form of release.

Fortunately that issue hadn’t come up often, as she was usually around her brother and their friends most of the time. Nothing killed a girl’s urges than the mortification of possibly being caught in the act by her companions, after all – especially since one of them was her own _sibling_. 

Still, she was seventeen and hormonal, and whenever the need arose she found relief by sneaking as far away from camp as she could late at night to address her… desires.

Sometimes she sought out a body of fresh water if possible, using her bending to stay afloat as she stroked herself until she came undone, gasping and trembling and staring wide-eyed up into the starlit sky overhead.

Occasionally if she was feeling especially bold, she bended the impurities out of the water and used featherlight tendrils to tease all over her body, concentrating on her breasts and between her thighs, careful to always keep it on the outside.

She would be completely sated by the time she was finished and crept back to camp to rejoin the others, her body relaxed and cleansed, the others none the wiser.

If Toph ever discovered her missing for extended periods of time at night every once in a while, she thankfully never brought it up.

For that, Katara was eternally grateful.

Those midnight excursions were often infrequent, though, and she hadn’t gotten close enough to any boys after Jet, not that she’d had many choices to begin with.

There had been her encounter with Haru, who was attractive and kindhearted, even though he wasn’t necessarily her type. They had never done anything more than hug each other fondly as their group left his village, though, and who knew when their paths would cross again?

And then there was Aang, who was sweet but mostly childish, and she mainly thought of him as a younger brother, despite the occasional bouts of wisdom and moments of surprising maturity.

That left her with the temperamental Fire Prince, who she often despised but never actually hated, not even after his betrayal. And as loathe as she was to admit it, he was actually kind of cute.

(She would rather drown herself in the ocean before she’d admit it out loud that she found the Prince of All Things Evil attractive in his own way, though.)

Hence her current dilemma.

With his longer hair, he slightly resembled Jet, although he lacked the Freedom Fighter’s natural charm and suaveness. Both were hot-tempered and broody loners, but Zuko was undoubtedly more awkward and moody, often lashing out and letting his emotions get the better of him. 

Not unlike herself in that regard, she supposed.

Although she was still angry with her first boyfriend on some level for tricking her into sleeping with him back then, Katara remembered the almost gut punch sensation in her stomach upon seeing him unexpectedly again back in Ba Sing Se.

She could still recall his rich, brown locks ruffling slightly in the breeze, the familiar glint in those dark eyes that once made her swoon as he smirked down at her…

But even though he had tried to change his ways for her sake, ultimately it wasn’t meant to be.

Later that evening, when she finally had time to reflect on everything that had come to pass that day regarding their reunion with Appa and meeting with the Earth King, she allowed herself to shed a few silent tears alone in the darkness.

She mourned for him that night, grieving the loss of the first boy she’d fallen for and the one who she’d opened up to, knowing that he was now buried somewhere deep under Lake Laogai forevermore.

The following morning she arose, washed the tears away from her face, and squared her shoulders back, determined to move on with her life.

Since then, she hadn’t let herself get close to any other boys, save for that one dance with Aang some weeks back…

Now, however, she found herself pinned to a wall by her longtime enemy, relying on her feminine wiles to mess with his brain and catch him off guard, discovering far too late that she was in far more trouble than she previously thought.

~*~*~

As her hips rocked up against Zuko’s over and over again, she was all too aware of how well her scheme was working, biting back gasps whenever she felt him pressed into her.

He was too distracted to notice the way her movements became more erratic the longer she kept it up, working herself into a mild frenzy as well. The desperate groans she wrenched from his throat sent shivers down her spine and a rush of heat straight to her core.

Her imagination ran wild while her hips teased his, and she bit her lip as she wondered what other sounds he would make if they took things even further.

What would he sound like sinking into her? Would he let out a ragged moan or perhaps even an appreciative growl as he started moving inside with deep, fervent strokes?

Maybe he’d even exhale smoke or small flames in the process, especially if they got rougher and faster, his hips slamming and carving into hers. Which she had no doubt would happen; both of them were far too passionate in every other aspects of their personalities to not let it carry over if they became more intimate.

For some stupid reason, the mental image of it excited her far more than it should, and she hated herself because she _didn’t_ hate the idea of it at all.

She wasn’t familiar with many positions during the act itself, as Jet had taken the lead both times that night so long ago. Still, she pictured herself straddling the prince’s lap, his warm hands gripping her waist as she rocked above him, pulling her closer to create more friction.

His mouth would be at the perfect spot to pepper her neck with more kisses, and by that point she’d have no problem with letting his lips trail further down to her breasts, too.

Then she envisioned herself nudging him to lie back flat against the ground, pushing him further inside. Perhaps she might even return the favor from earlier and pin his wrists down beside his head and see how _he_ liked being the helpless one.

Something told her that he wouldn’t mind too much, though, and neither would she. 

Katara realized far too late that she’d gotten carried away playing her role a bit too perfectly, and now she was steadily growing as frantic as he was.

She was never more aware of the emptiness between her thighs, and she found herself silently begging him to give up already, _please_ , she couldn’t take much more of this before she cracked...

~*~*~

At long last he caved, releasing his grip on her wrists and letting her go free with a scowl of defeat, both panting heavily as they examined the other’s reaction.

“You win,” he’d snapped while a rosy blush colored his cheeks, his aroused state obvious even in the dim light. “Get out of here before I change my mind.”

And she’d had every intention to, except that in rendering him helpless she’d made herself just as weak in the process. If she absolutely had to, she could still run off, but now _she_ was aching for release too, and the warmth between her legs was positively soaked.

That _bastard_.

She was going to kill him for drawing this whole thing out and making her feel this way, that is if she didn’t give into her baser instincts and pull him inside her body first, consequences be damned.

Unfortunately, he was far more observant than others often gave him credit for.

While she was still trying to convince herself to move, to run away despite her body telling her otherwise, that traitorous snake _figured it out_ while wearing the biggest, most obnoxious smirk on his face.

And of course, she couldn’t actually deny the effect he’d had on her, either. Not when it was so blatantly obvious.

The indecision whether or not she wanted to drown him or fuck him was currently swinging towards the former, although just enough temptation remained of the latter to hold her back from outright murdering him where he stood.

Technically, it was _her_ fault that the two of them were in this predicament in the first place, although she would swear to her dying day that he started it. 

~*~*~

Katara would never understand why she willingly allowed him to back her up against the wall again moments later.

She didn’t even protest when those warm, heavy hands settled on the curve of her hips like they belonged there, either.

Nor did she shove him away when he slowly, almost as if allowing her an escape if she wanted, leaned down and kissed her throat with more tenderness than she thought possible from him.

In fact, she was so taken aback by his show of sweetness that she let out a genuinely breathy moan, not like the theatrical ones she’d been faking earlier, at least up until a certain point.

It had been so long since that night in the treehouse, feeling the warm weight of a roguish teenage boy weighing down on her body before slowly, carefully pushing into her.

It had been far too long since she’d felt this good – though on second thought, she couldn’t remember the last time she’d been so worked up and stimulated, not even with Jet.

It had been so long since she’d been touched the way that Zuko was currently touching her, and despite her better judgement she wanted him to do it again.

Which he did, soon latching onto the soft skin of her neck with his teeth, growling as he sucked and nipped and kissed until she almost couldn’t stand it anymore.

This felt far too vivid to be a dream.

At the moment, she _almost_ hoped it was real.

When he pulled away from his ministrations against her throat, she noticed a distinct change in his gaze. He seemed far more intent, hungry even – hungry for _her_ , she realized with a dizzy head.

She had seen a similar look in Jet’s eyes back then, once upon a time.

Only now, the heat in these golden eyes boring down into hers made her feel like she was actually melting, and her thighs rubbed together once more in anticipation.

“Do you want me to keep going?” he asked in low voice that sent shivers down her spine once more.

Katara had no doubt that if she pushed him away just then, he would respect her decision and leave her alone. Now was her chance to escape, except she found that she didn’t want to run anymore.

As terrible as it sounded, she actually found herself wanting to stay and discover exactly what else Zuko was willing to do with her beneath the glow of the moonlight. 

So despite all common sense telling her to end things now before she got even more carried away, knowing full well that this was nothing but a bad idea, she nodded.

She was rewarded immediately for her choice, as he rained more kisses along the other side of her throat, causing her to whimper.

He paused long enough to murmur something about how he’d listen if she told him to stop, which surprised her, although she kept it hidden.

But she’d had no time to dwell on that unexpected promise of chivalry, as his lips captured hers again and again, only pulling away when she was left breathless and wanting more.

She still had some semblance of rationality left in her mind, even as his hands palmed against her breasts almost shyly minutes later, undoubtedly using some form of firebending because his touch was so warm, so perfect.

He massaged and caressed her delicate skin with his fingers so gently that she would have thought he was someone else entirely, if she weren’t experiencing and seeing it firsthand.

What happened to the irritable, moody prince who yelled all the time and constantly lost his temper? Since when was he capable of such attentiveness and tender kisses, stroking her with complete reverence?

This had to be yet another trick of his, somehow, another way to get under her skin and convince her to let her guard down just so he could swoop in and disappoint her by the time it was all over.

Yet as they kissed she found her arms wrapping around his neck, tangling her fingers up in his thick, dark hair and tugging at the dark locks, which he seemed to enjoy based on the low rumbles in his throat each time she did so.

~*~*~

At the very least, her thoughts were coherent enough to push him off when he attempted to slide his hands underneath her top, issuing an ultimatum. As long as their clothes stayed on, she could still maintain some control.

Whether or not this was a dream, she didn’t want to risk being impregnated with his bastard offspring. She even planned to drink a cup of silphium tea once she woke up just to be on the safe side, regardless of if they took things that far or not.

Better overly cautious than sorry, and it’s not as though the others would know what it was, anyways.

For a heartbeat she watched Zuko’s reaction after she backed away, surprised when he immediately withdrew his hands and agreed to her terms with a pleasant enough smile.

Relieved, she initiated another round of kissing, moaning and whimpering whenever he paused long enough to focus his attention on her neck, which had to be covered in bruises, although she couldn’t bring herself to care just now.

If this was indeed reality, she’d heal them before she found her way back to the others. If it was all just a dream, even better. 

For once, she wanted to be completely reckless without a care in the world, to rebel against what everyone else expected from her and do whatever the hell she wanted.

If the only way she got to do that was by shamelessly making out with her longtime enemy, who was far too talented with his sinful mouth for her own good as he kissed her neck, both of them sinking together into the fires of hell itself...

... then so be it.

~*~*~

When he carefully scooped her up in his arms after asking for her permission – since when did he take her feelings into consideration like that? – her legs wrapped around his waist upon instinct like they belonged there.

He adjusted his hold on her, resting her back against the wall for support. Once he aligned their hips up perfectly, she almost choked when she felt _all_ of him pressed flush up against her.

Oh.

 _Oh_.

She was in dangerous territory now, even though they remained completely clothed and he waited anxiously for her approval to continue, outright panting in desperation.

Now was her chance to escape, she thought.

If she shook her head, if she slipped out of his arms right now and walked away, both could still pretend that this hadn’t happened. She’d already thrown away the first one, surely she’d have the common sense not to let the other opportunity go, right?

But she found herself exhaling and nodding, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him in closer, squeezing her eyes shut and hoping that it wouldn’t feel as good as she was anticipating…

Oh, _fuck_.

It felt even better, somehow, that _bastard_. 

After the first handful of thrusts that hit just right, she knew she was completely wrecked and at his mercy, as unfair as it all was. He seemed just as affected as she was, growling and panting and moaning beside her ear each time his hips surged forward.

She whimpered as he let her feel exactly what she’d done to him earlier, how feverish and aroused she’d made him, and _oh_ , he just felt so good pressing into her like this.

Then he latched onto her throat once more, bringing out those devastatingly sharp teeth as he nipped and sucked at the delicate skin until she was crying out for more, to hell with her pride.

To hell with it _all_.

She almost hoped this was real after all, because her body had never felt this good before in her life.

For once, couldn't she be completely irrational, even if she burned in the process?

She’d worry about the consequences of their actions later. Right now she was too distracted by the heavenly sensation of him pressed up against the ache between her thighs and dragging her nails down his bare back.

His vest must have slipped off at some point, not that she particularly cared. All she wanted was to pull his chest flush up against her body as close as she could, feeling actual flames growing beneath his skin as his thrusts turned erratic and frenzied.

Her thoughts became even more incoherent once he finally lost all sense of control moments later. He started rutting into her like a wild animal, practically slamming them both against the wall as he got rougher, frantically seeking his release.

All she could do was cling to him desperately, choking back sobs of pleasure as she finally allowed herself to be consumed by the solace of his inferno.

~*~*~

He gradually slowed down, and it was only then that she noticed his arms trembling as they held her up.

His entire body was shaking now, actually, although she didn’t know if it was from exhaustion or needing even more relief.

True to his nature, he'd pushed himself past his limits, just like he always did. He didn’t even seem to be aware of how spent he looked already.

So reluctantly, she sighed and requested he set her down, to which he complied without protest, although he looked disappointed all the same.

They stared into each other’s eyes in silence, and she felt a fluttering in her stomach when she saw the look in his.

While he still gazed down at her in lust and thinly veiled hunger, she now recognized unmistakable tenderness as he watched her with half-hooded eyes.

There was no possible way this could really be happening, and yet it seemed too real to be a dream.

And all of the implications of everything they’d done tonight and how he was gazing down at her now, as if he genuinely cared about her and wasn’t just using her to get off…

It terrified her how affectionate they were acting now, the way he hugged her gently as though she would shatter upon impact, even though he’d been rough just minutes ago. His kisses were no longer frantic or fierce like earlier, only sweet and soothing.

She should have pushed him away, but she found herself resting her head against his shoulder instead, savoring how warm and comforting he felt wrapped around her, almost protectively.

What happened to the mean, temperamental Zuko she’d known over the last three years, the one who never failed to infuriate her?

When had he become the loving, passionate prince who made her feel more alive than she ever thought possible?

She wasn’t sure, but maybe if he had changed so much for her tonight, there might be a chance he could be swayed over to their side…

But those hopes were crushed immediately as he shook his head in sadness.

_I can’t do that._

_Would you do it for me?_

_… I can’t._

That settled things, then.

With a disappointed nod and a sigh, she delicately extracted herself from his arms and attempted to take her leave, although she had no idea how she was going to find her way back to camp.

He agreed when she mentioned not wanting to share what happened between them tonight with anyone else, although he hesitated before he nodded his head.

“So, um… I guess this is goodbye?” she started to say uncertainly. “I don’t know how I’m going to get back to-”

But he cut her off with a desperate kiss, grasping her hips and drawing her flush against him, and she was all too happy to let herself be swept away once more.

He backed her up against the wall again, rocking against her desperately.

“I’m sorry, I can’t let you leave, I just…” he gritted out, ducking his head into the crook of her neck. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me, but I can’t let you go.”

 _Then don’t_ , she wanted to whisper.

“You have to,” she breathed instead, planting a kiss beside his ear.

Why couldn’t he see that he would never be happy here, trying to change himself to settle into this life pleasing his father, selling his soul in the process? Was he aware of his mistake already, deciding to live with his decision as best as possible?

Still, she knew it ultimately had to be his decision to leave it all behind, although she couldn’t help herself from making one last attempt to change his mind.

“We both know I can’t stay here with you… but you _can_ come with _me_ , Zuko. Please?”

He was silent, planting sweet kisses all over her face instead, and for a moment she thought he might actually say yes...

~*~*~

At least, that was until he panicked moments later at the sound of _something_ and frantically urged her to run.

Perhaps this had been nothing more than a dream after all, as she couldn’t hear anything out of the ordinary.

“You have to get out of here,” he hissed, his head swiveling in all directions. “Quickly, before she gets here and sees you.”

Then he placed himself as a barrier between her and their unknown assailant, using his own body as a shield to protect her from harm.

While she was touched by the gesture, she was still confused.

“You’ve got to _go_ ,” he urged again over his shoulder. “Can’t you hear my sister? If she catches you, she won’t show you any mercy.”

Before she could begin to comprehend it at all, though, she was blinded by sparks of blue, crackling light from somewhere in front of them, almost like lightning…

… and Katara woke up at last, shaking and gasping for air.

It was just a dream, it wasn't real.

At least, that's what she thought until a short time later during their escape, when Aang pointed out the marks adorning her neck, with suspicion and hurt in his eyes.

And she had no answer for him or the others' questions, responding honestly when she said she didn't know how it was possible that she'd gotten them.

In the end, she settled on the explanation that they'd been caused by hot fragments of rock hitting her neck during the attack on their camp. None of them entirely believed this, of course, but what else could have caused the marks?

She healed the dark purple bruises the moment they landed, furious with herself and even more furious with the prince for tricking her somehow, someway, yet again.

While she still couldn’t bring herself to hate him, she came incredibly close that night.

~*~*~

A familiar flash of cobalt blue in his doorway caught Zuko’s attention out of the corner of his eye, and he smiled warmly as he stood to greet the girl leaning against it.

While she had been terse with him earlier – as he well deserved, of course – a part of him had been hoping that he could talk one on one with Katara and finally clear things up with her.

Maybe he could explain how what happened in Ba Sing Se hadn’t been personal, how sorry he was for throwing her selfless offer to heal his scar back in her face, how he sincerely hoped they could be friends before this was all over.

However, his smile quickly faded once he saw the silent fury painted across her features and something like ice in those ocean-blue eyes that occasionally haunted his dreams.

“You might have everyone else here buying your... _transformation_ , but you and I both know you've struggled with doing the right thing in the past,” she said in a low voice dripping with venom. “So let me tell you something, right now.”

Zuko frowned as she continued, slowly walking into the room and only stopping once she was glaring directly up at him.

“You make one step backward, one slip-up, give me one reason to think you might hurt Aang, and you won't have to worry about your destiny anymore,” she threatened. “Because I'll make sure your destiny ends ... right then and there.”

Truth be told, he had expected her and the others to be apprehensive, but he was somewhat taken aback by the level of hostility in her demeanor. Not that he could blame her, of course, given his horrible track record.

So he simply nodded and exhaled.

“I understand,” he said earnestly. “I’ll even make you a promise right here, right now. I swear that I won’t hurt Aang or anyone else… but if somehow I do, I won’t try to fight back against you when you retaliate, either. I’m just trying to do the right thing, Katara, I promise.”

She seemed unimpressed by his offer, and a tendril of water snaked out of the pouch slung across her back, wrapping itself around her fingertips.

“That’s another thing,” she said coldly. “Stay away from me, Zuko. We’re not friends – we never have been and we never will be. Don’t touch me, don’t even speak to me unless I speak to you first. Understood?”

He had never seen this much animosity in her eyes before, not even after his decision in the crystal catacombs beneath Ba Sing Se when she unleashed all of her fury at him for his betrayal.

Zuko watched, stunned as the water in her hands straightened out into a blade of ice, which she held directly against his throat. The sharp tip was close enough to his skin that a mere swallow would draw blood.

This seemed oddly familiar, not unlike in that one strange dream he’d had some months ago involving both of them…

 _Wait_ , he thought as his eyes widened upon seeing a look of fear and recognition flash across her face as well. _It couldn’t possibly have been real, could it_ …?

However he had no time to finish that thought, as her next words made his blood run cold in his veins as if she’d frozen them herself.

“Because so help me, if you try anything, I’ll _kill_ you,” she said flatly, and he stepped backwards, rendered speechless by her threat. “I know nearly every conceivable method of healing the human body, so I also know all the ways of destroying it, _especially_ as painfully as possible. Do I make myself clear?”

All he could do was nod solemnly and watch, stunned, as she spun on her heel and stormed out of his room, slamming the door closed behind her with a _bang_.

Once she was gone, his shoulders slumped in defeat and exhaustion. He sprawled out on the bed, covering his face with his hands and groaning.

Surely that dream he’d had months ago about Katara had only been that and nothing more than a vivid dream?

Granted he’d awoken afterwards from that dream with scratches down his back that he could never figure out how to explain, but he’d eventually chalked them up to his blowup at the beach party or from wandering around in the woods near his family’s old vacation home, or…

Or...

It was far easier to accept all of the memories he had regarding that unexplained stretch of time as just a dream, nothing more, nothing less…

… and it wasn’t as though he could ask Katara if she shared any of those memories, either, especially not after she outright threatened to kill him if he stepped out of line, much less spoke to her.

So he rolled over on his side facing away from the doorway and drifted off into a fitful sleep for the next few hours, tossing and turning until he finally heard an unfamiliar voice – Haru, maybe? – calling his name to let him know dinner was ready.

With a sigh of despondency, he sat up and rubbed his eyes, wondering how he was ever going to convince any of them to like him, much less trust him.

He supposed that last detail was the most important one, though. Whether or not they liked him as a person or a friend was irrelevant; they just had to give him a chance to prove that he had changed for the better.

And perhaps one day, her ocean blue eyes would stop haunting his dreams.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to everyone's given feedback on this fic! Your comments are always welcome and appreciated. 
> 
> FYI I've updated the tags, and there's a LOT to unpack in this chapter, so settle in and get comfortable. See y'all down in the Comments!

_Wish that you would hold me or just say that you were mine  
_ _It's killing me slowly_

 _Dream a little dream of me  
_ _Make me into something sweet…_

_[Fuck It, I Love You – Lana del Rey](https://youtu.be/LrSX_OcpeJg) _

* * *

**_A few months and one life-altering field trip later…_ **

****

Katara sighed and leaned back, sprawling out on the floor of Appa’s saddle, allowing herself to breathe and release tension from her shoulders for the first time in days.

The warm rays of the late afternoon sunset bathed the three of them in an orange glow as they flew. She watched the thinner clouds stretch into long streaks and the fluffier ones float by overhead, thankful that the cold, heavy rain hadn’t followed them as they flew through the Fire Nation.

While they were making good time, she doubted they would reach the others before nightfall – if anything, they probably had another half-day’s trip if they continued flying at their current speed.

Still, she knew Appa had been flying nearly nonstop ever since they set out on their journey, and he was due for a break soon. It made far more sense to find somewhere to camp for the night and resume their travels in the morning.

With a groan of protest, she forced her exhausted body up to a sitting position, softly calling out Zuko’s name to get his attention.

She didn’t expect him to actually hear her, what with the sound of the wind in their ears, but his head whipped back around moments later. Katara carefully crawled to the front of the saddle and climbed over the edge.

His eyes followed her as she settled down beside him, probably watching to make sure she didn’t slip off the edge and fall.

“What’s up?” he asked, tilting his head towards her. “Have you been able to get any rest since we left?”

Katara shook her head and wrapped her arms around her knees, tucking her chin on top. As utterly exhausted as she was, her thoughts were still too jumbled to allow her mind a reprieve, much less let her fall asleep.

He frowned and turned his focus back on the landscape ahead.

“At this rate, we’ll reach the camp tomorrow night,” he said. “We should stop for the night soon and figure out our next steps for when we get back.”

She lifted her head up and sighed.

“I thought it was half a day…?”

“Not exactly. I know the area, and we’ve still got at least one more day before we get back.”

“Oh.”

A yawn escaped her mouth before she could stop it, and it split her face clean in half. He smiled sympathetically over at her, and the sight didn’t infuriate her like it might have once upon a time.

“Just a little bit longer, and I’ll find us a place to camp for the night,” he promised, scanning the small islands dotting the sea below them. “I know exactly where we’re at, it’s just that most of these places are heavily populated…”

Katara closed her eyes and let out another yawn.

“At this point, I don’t really care,” she mumbled. “As long as it’s somewhere safe. I’d kill for a warm shower too, but I doubt that’s an option.”

Something seemed to click in Zuko’s mind, and he debated internally for a minute before he turned his head to look at her, a nervous hint of a smile on his face.

“Well, there’s my family’s old beach house that’s been abandoned for years… it’s not too far from here, about twenty minutes away. We could stop for the night and regroup in the morning?”

She perked up at this.

“Are there actual beds to sleep in? As in, nice comfy beds fit for royalty?”

Zuko shrugged. 

“They’re all probably full of dust by now, but yeah.”

“And you’re sure it’s safe?”

“Should be. It’s on private property, and signs are posted on the outskirts warning trespassers away under penalty of death – yeah, I _know_ it’s ridiculous, quit giving me that look, Katara, I didn’t put them up – but that also means that no one will be around for a least a few miles.”

She considered this, rubbing her eyes with the heel of her palm.

“And you’re sure that your father or sister won’t randomly pop in for a surprise visit?” she asked, already picturing herself sprawled out across a luxuriously massive bed surrounded by thick, fluffy pillows.

“If they do, I’ll give up eating fire flakes forever,” he assured her. “It’s been almost a decade since any of us actually stayed there… not since my mom disappeared about eight years ago, that is. After she left, my father had the house boarded up and we haven’t been back since. It’s the last place anyone we’d need to worry about would think to visit.”

That seemed promising enough, Katara thought. At the very least, they could check it out.

“I’m game,” she said, allowing herself a small grin. “Wake me when we land, I’m going to go lie back down and rest until we get there.”

With a nod Zuko altered the bison’s direction slightly, and before long they started to descend.

~*~*~

As her eyes closed while sprawled out in the saddle, she pondered the implications of her newfound alliance with the Fire Prince.

Although she still hadn’t completely forgiven him, she discovered that if nothing else, she trusted him to watch out for her.

Out of the others, he had been the only one who seemed to understand exactly what she needed, who was ready to listen whenever she found herself venting. He made sure that she didn’t struggle alone whenever setting up camp or with any of the other chores in a long list that never seemed to cease. 

He wasn’t the most talkative, which had been a blessing on this trip. Normally she might have felt uneasy by the lack of conversation, except those long stretches of silence proved to be quite peaceful around him.

Soothing, even.

Which was a word she never thought she’d ever use to describe the same firebender who once tied her to a tree and was known for his temper tantrums.

Funny how things change, she supposed. Who would have ever thought that the two of them would make such good allies?

They’d made a formidable team facing off against the Southern Raiders and tracking down the monster who murdered her mother. Once they combined their opposing strengths and learned how to rely on each other as partners, they’d been virtually unstoppable.

He used his firebending to provide a strong offense with a series of fire blasts, occasionally using his dao swords if needed; she used her waterbending to create a powerful defense by using their opponents’ energies against them.

But more than that, though, he willingly deferred to her judgment and treated her with respect and even, at times, _awe_.

Zuko had watched silently as she bloodbended the Raiders’ newest leader and hesitated for only a moment, which was more generous than what anyone else would have done in that situation.

Afterwards as they flew back towards Yon Rha’s village, Katara found herself nervously explaining just what had happened back there.

To her surprise, he wasn’t outright repulsed by the concept. While he agreed that controlling someone’s body wasn’t exactly paragon, he also countered that its potential for healing couldn’t be counted out.

“Just think if someone’s bleeding out or has heart problems or internal bleeding,” he explained. “You could actually save them, Katara.”

She’d bitten her lip and gazed off to the side, watching the moonlit sea roll by below them in the dark.

“I just… that was the second time I’ve ever done it, and I couldn’t help but feel like a monster,” she confessed. “I promised the others that after I was forced to use it that first time, it would never happen again.”

The prince hesitated before reaching out to pat her shoulder, although he withdrew his hand immediately once she looked over at him.

“Sorry, I shouldn’t have…” he mumbled, glancing away.

Katara sighed and shook her head.

“No, it’s… it’s okay,” she said. “Were you going to say something?”

He rubbed the back of his neck and flashed her an apologetic smile.

“I’m trying to figure out what my uncle would say in this scenario,” he admitted. “Some anecdote that tied back to tea, probably.”

She found herself snorting lightly, and the smile on his face grew a bit wider. After a moment’s contemplation, he continued.

“I think Uncle would say something to the effect that we all are capable of being both good and evil,” he ventured, resting his chin in his hand. “Maybe that we all have our own darkness inside of us, and just because we have it doesn’t automatically make us monsters. Maybe that it’s what we choose to do with our inner darkness that defines us, rather than the darkness itself?”

Katara was somewhat taken aback – since when did the Prince of All Jerkbenders (her brother’s former nickname for Zuko prior to the Boiling Rock incident) go around spouting words of wisdom?

He caught her puzzled look and shrugged.

“Sorry, I know that probably doesn’t make any sense.”

She shook her head and smiled.

“Actually, it makes perfect sense,” she said softly. “I think that’s wise, and it sounds like something your uncle might say."

Zuko ducked his head and grinned, a faint blush forming on his cheeks.

“The question is, can you say it again and _sound_ like your uncle?”

At that he’d launched into an admittedly good impersonation of the old general, causing her to smirk and his shy smile to grow.

Who would have ever thought the two of them could get along so well, especially once the anger and prejudices were stripped away?

While she still felt conflicted about her decision to spare Yon Rha, she thought if nothing else, this trip had demonstrated that Zuko could be trusted, after all…

… that is, until sometime later that evening when she discovered that she’d already visited the royal family’s former vacation home before with the present company.

~*~*~

At first, she didn’t notice anything amiss when she was roused from her all too brief nap once they landed in a courtyard soon after.

Grass and vines poked up through cracks in the tiles, and the place had an air of being long forgotten by the outside world. An old stone fountain sat in the middle, and she examined it curiously once she hopped down from Appa’s saddle.

Zuko noticed as he began unloading their packs.

“I don’t think it’ll still work,” he advised. “It’s been shut off for nearly a decade…”

But he trailed off as she concentrated and reached deep below the layers of stone and earth, calling forth water and guiding it up through the rusted pipes until the fountain came to life for the first time in years.

The water was brown and sputtering at first, but eventually the dirty color faded until it finally ran clear, even sparkling golden in the light of the setting sun.

She admired her handiwork for a moment and turned to see that same expression of awe on the prince’s face once more that she’d seen several times throughout their trip together.

“Never discount a waterbender,” she said proudly. “I could find a single drop in a desert.”

He nodded his head, grinning unabashedly.

“I never should have doubted you, and I won’t make that same mistake again,” he said, smiling proudly. “C’mon, after we eat I’ll show you around.”

Once they scarfed down a light dinner, he began the unofficial tour of the royal family’s slightly dilapidated former beach house.

Katara followed along, walking a bit faster than normal to keep up with his long, lumbering strides. He noticed though and slowed down, letting her catch up.

While it was just a vacation home, it was still _huge_ , and she found herself gawking at the sheer size of the place.

As they walked through he pointed out the various guest rooms, the expanded kitchen and dining area, living rooms centered around decorative fire pits, and a library. She paused in the doorway, peering around inside at the vast collection of scrolls and books.

“Wow,” she whispered, as if she might be overheard by anyone other than Zuko. “Do we have time to check it out?”

His lips quirked upwards.

“It’s not an official tour, so take as much time as you want.”

With a grin she led them both inside, her head swiveling around in all directions as they walked through, examining various titles and taking books off shelves to browse through.

She also discovered a series of paintings hanging all throughout on the walls, depicting various members of the royal families over the years. It struck her as odd to see such intimate moments of past rulers depicted in happier moments, relaxing and laughing at the beach while the rest of the world burned under their thumb.

Her guide suddenly stopped short in front of the last one depicting a mother building a sandcastle with her two young children, while a father figure hung back beneath a beach umbrella.

“I’d forgotten about this one,” he murmured to himself, thankful it had survived his pillaging and burning from several months ago, the night he wasn’t even sure was entirely real.

Katara joined him, eyes widening when she realized she was looking at a candid painting of his family from their younger, happier times.

“Is that your mother?” she asked quietly, gesturing to the kind-looking, laughing woman who bore a striking resemblance to the present company.

He nodded, reaching out to touch the dried paint strokes that made up her face.

“Yeah…” he said with a rueful smile. “That’s her. I was maybe nine or ten at the time.”

“She’s beautiful,” Katara said, gently resting her hand against the back of his shoulder in spite of herself. “You look so much like her.”

Zuko tensed up at her touch but relaxed after a moment, nodding wistfully.

“I think I got most of my features from Ozai, especially my eyes,” he said in a low voice. “But most people who knew her say I got her personality. Azula takes after her in looks, but she acts more like our father.”

The waterbender tilted her head as she examined the young boy in the painting, visibly laughing with sand-coated hands, forever captured in a moment of molding the side walls of the sandcastle.

He seemed so carefree, so young, all toothy smiles back then, unlike her companion’s current stoicism.

“What was her name?” Katara asked softly, wondering what his mother would have thought about a Water Tribe girl poking around the beach house with her son.

“It was Ursa… and you’d have liked her,” Zuko said in reverent tones. “She used to spend a lot of time beside the ponds and fountains in the gardens back home, usually feeding the turtleducks or reading. She also loved coming to the beach and being near the water, too. My mom was one of the few people who…”

He trailed off, shaking his head slightly.

“Anyways, let me show you around the rest of the beach house. You mentioned wanting a warm shower? I’ll do you one better.”

~*~*~

Katara’s mouth fell open when he opened the door leading to the royal bathhouse, complete with a spa area and a small steam room.

Her eyes widened and she _may_ have gawked a bit upon seeing all of the tubs and pools scattered throughout, all empty from disuse.

“This is incredible!” she exclaimed, wandering through and examining the leftover bottles of cleansers and oils and bath salts. “I could spend an entire day in here, and I don’t think I’d ever get tired of it… although I’d be very wrinkly.”

He stood leaning against the doorway with his arms folded, watching her ooh and ahh with veiled interest.

“I thought you’d be impressed by all of the pools and stuff,” he grinned. “Just like the fountain outside, this room hasn’t been used in almost a decade, but if you can get the water flowing you’re welcome to try it out.”

She returned his grin with one of her own as she continued to explore.

“Once when we were staying in Ba Sing Se, Toph and I visited a fancy spa,” she said, opening a container and sniffing the wisteria-scented concoction within. “This reminds me a lot of it.”

Zuko raised his eyebrow.

“Toph actually went to a spa?”

“She hated everything except for the mud treatment and the steam room.”

“Ah. That sounds more like her.”

“Come to think of it, she even liked the makeup we got to wear as part of the beautification process at the end.”

“Now _that_ does not.”

Katara was inclined to agree, except she knew that Toph secretly harbored a soft spot that was kept hidden beneath her tomboy exterior, lest she ruin her tough reputation.

Perhaps not unlike her current companion, who she had discovered was capable of being kind and thoughtful and eager to please, even if he was a bit socially challenged. 

“Sometimes people will surprise you,” was all she said with a shrug. “You don’t always know what they keep hidden just below the surface.”

Zuko smiled slightly at that and nodded thoughtfully.

“Spoken like a true waterbender,” he agreed. “Of course you’d include a comparison to your element.”

She let out a huff, although she smiled all the same.

“It could be worse,” she replied cheekily. “I could be throwing around words like flameo and hotman, too.”

He pinched the bridge of his nose and shook his head, groaning.

“Please don’t. It’s bad enough when Aang uses them.”

“I don’t know, I think they should make a comeback into everyday vocabulary.”

“If they do, I’ll throw myself headfirst into a volcano.”

She giggled and wondered at herself almost immediately – since when did she giggle around Zuko, and since when did his eyes crinkle up with contentment around her?

Where had this easy camaraderie come from over the last several days?

Sure, she trusted him… but laughing at his snarky comments? Acting like actual friends, despite the fluttering in her stomach? Feeling lighthearted whenever he chanced to smile at her?

For now, though, she chose to ignore these odd new developments in their relationship, at least until she had more time to process it all.

Katara found even more things to explore in the bathhouse, much to her guide’s amusement. Eventually she looked up from examining a series of seven adjoining smaller tubs arranged to form a semicircle and noticed him raising his eyebrow at her yet again.

“I know, I know,” she grumbled. “I’m holding us up.”

He shook his head and rubbed the back of his neck.

“Actually, I was thinking that I probably won’t see you once the tour’s over until we leave in the morning, because you’ll be too busy splashing around in here.”

“Don’t knock a good spa until you’ve tried it.”

“Yeah, hard pass. I already got dragged into using the royal one back at the palace several times over the course of my life and hated it every time.”

Once again she found herself giggling, which earned her a dry smile from the prince.

“Look, I’m just saying, if Toph can enjoy herself, so can you or any guy.”

“Thanks but no thanks. I’d rather not go around smelling like a bouquet of flowers.”

She rolled her eyes at that – ugh, _boys_ – but finally quit poking around the bathhouse so they could continue the tour.

An unexpected thought occurred to her just then as they walked along, and she contemplated over it as Zuko continued talking.

“Anyways, you haven’t even seen the private beach yet,” he was saying, gesturing for her to follow towards the front of the house. “That’s the best part. There’s lots of sand and shade, and the water is so clear you can see shells at the bottom for miles… Katara?”

He stopped, noticing that she’d fallen behind and was gazing around them thoughtfully.

“I know this place probably brings back a lot of bad memories for you, but… what if we camped out here until the comet?” she asked, biting her lower lip.

“You’re just saying that because you want to use the spa,” he deadpanned.

Katara shook her head, allowing herself to smile.

“No, I’m serious Zuko. Think about it. No one ever comes here, so we’d be secluded. There’s plenty of rooms for everyone, and the courtyard out back would be perfect for firebending training. Sokka and I could fish in the ocean, so we wouldn’t go hungry…”

She trailed off, noticing he appeared to be lost in thought and was staring off in the distance, as if his mind were a million miles away.

“Just an idea,” she offered, lightly tapping his shoulder and snapping him out of it. “You mentioned something about a private beach?”

~*~*~

They walked out onto the main front porch as the sun sank lower into the horizon, and Katara couldn’t help the gasp that escaped from her throat upon seeing the sunset.

He beamed at her reaction, pausing before they reached the steps leading down to the dirt pathway winding down the hill, waiting to let her admire it as long as she wanted.

After seeing the breathless look upon her face, he certainly was in no hurry to rush her.

The sky was painted with pinks and lavenders and golds that flowed and blended together like watercolors, and the scent of salt water bloomed and carried in the warm breeze.

Various shades of blues and aquamarines made up the ocean, which stretched out for miles and miles as far around them as their eyes could see. Small white curls of waves rushed over the shore and broke apart on the tawny sand down on the beach below.

Something seemed vaguely familiar about all of this, Katara thought, but she was too distracted by the sunset ahead of them to dwell on why that might be.

“Back when I was banished… one of the things I missed the most about home were the sunsets,” he said softly. “They’re pretty everywhere else, of course, but there’s nothing like seeing them here in the Fire Nation.”

She was inclined to agree, leaning forward against the porch railing with him as they took in the scenery with wide eyes and easy smiles.

“I’ve never seen so many different colors during a sunset before,” she whispered. “This is… this is _beautiful_ , Zuko.”

Katara missed the proud smile overtake his features when he glanced over at her, as she was focused on watching the waves crashing below and inhaling the salty breeze. She also missed the way his hand closest to her twitched, as if he were considering reaching out to hold hers until he thought better of it.

Instead he nodded, ducking his head for a few moments to quell his pounding heartbeat before he spoke again.

“That’s because all of the volcanoes release a specific type of mineral into the air, which makes the colors even more pronounced,” he explained, his normally raspy voice flowing over and around them like honey. “Sunsets are especially beautiful out here on Ember Island, too.”

Katara started to nod when the epiphany clicked in her brain, and she inhaled sharply as her blood ran cold and her hands gripped the railing.

He was too busy admiring the view to notice the abrupt change in her demeanor until she finally spoke, her voice quivering.

“Where… where did you say we were?” she squeaked out, mentally kicking herself for sounding so utterly pathetic.

Zuko seemed to have a similar epiphany, squaring his shoulders back and slowly turning to face her. All of the camaraderie and kindness in his features had vanished entirely, replaced by growing trepidation in his eyes that no doubt matched her own.

“We’re on Ember Island,” he repeated slowly, shifting his weight away from her as she did the same. “My family’s beach house is located on one of the more secluded parts of it…”

Her heart started to pound as memories of _that_ night started creeping back into her consciousness, memories she had long ago repressed and later convinced herself that she’d dreamt the whole thing up.

But based on the look of astonishment spreading across Zuko’s face, the chances of it all being just a dream were beginning to look slim to none.

There was no telling what expression she wore now.

Nor did she care.

“Why did you bring me here?” she asked slowly, inching away.

To her relief he didn’t attempt to follow her, instead standing rooted to his spot.

He swallowed and slowly raised his hands in a show of surrender, easing away towards the steps.

“I brought you here because we needed a place to spend the night, and since it’s abandoned and has beds and showers, I thought it might help you... the last several days have been hard on you, and I wanted you to feel better before we reunite with the rest of the group.”

She watched as he carefully walked down the stairs to the dirt pathway and uncertainly beckoned for her to follow.

However, she merely folded her arms defensively and watched him as something heavy settled into her stomach.

“Katara… you reacted when I mentioned where we were, here on Ember Island,” he said, his voice quiet and oddly strained. “Why is that?”

Her knuckles cracked as she clenched her fists, suddenly aware that she’d left her waterskin back in the courtyard by the fountain. She’d have a head start running back through the house, although he knew the layout better and was technically the faster runner of the two.

If it came down to a fight, he’d easily win. Maybe that had been his strategy all along. Convince her to let her guard down and then attack when she was most vulnerable.

How could she have let herself fall for his deceit yet again?

Hadn’t she learned her lesson in the catacombs? Or the time before when she allowed him to kiss and caress her until she’d been desperate to pull his body into hers…

But no, she still had to see the last missing puzzle piece for herself before she figured out her next move.

~*~*~

She quickly bounded down the steps, brushing past him, and started walking towards the side of the house once she reached the dirt pathway.

Katara only stopped once she rounded the corner and saw the stretch of wall from the dream that had been haunting her for the last few months.

 _No_ …

The waterbender willed herself to remain calm, even when she heard his heavier footsteps in the dirt behind her, fading out as he stood off somewhere to her side.

She dared to glance over at him and saw his face had grown even paler than she ever thought possible. His mouth opened and closed, and he took a step back as their eyes met.

Those familiar golden eyes that had gazed up at her in the darkness, glinting in the low light as he ground his hips against hers while she whimpered for more…

 _No_ , she thought again as her heart started to race and her instincts shifted into fight or flight mode. _It can’t be... how was that possible?_

Zuko was the first to eventually break the silence.

“Do you… do you remember that night, too?” his voice hoarse, his hands shaking. “I thought it was… I almost hoped it was just a dream… but now, I’m not so sure…”

Although her legs threatened to buckle underneath her, Katara forced herself to stay upright, drawing deep breaths to steady herself.

He was still rambling on, all the while eyeing her incredulously and even fearfully, despite his clear advantage should it come to blows.

“I… I thought it was all in my head for the longest time,” he confessed, raking his fingers through his hair and ruffling it up into a hopeless mess. “I fell asleep on the porch, then our … encounter… happened, and I was woken up by my sister afterwards. So I just assumed I’d dreamed the entire thing-”

“So did I,” she interrupted, thankful that her voice sounded stronger than she currently felt. “Then I woke up and discovered that you left me with _souvenirs_ all over my neck-”

Zuko’s face somehow grew even paler and his eyes became rounder than gold coins.

“-and _that_ was a fun conversation with the others, because I had to lie and say they were caused by exploding fragments of rocks or something when Combustion Man attacked us that same night,” she continued, her voice steadily rising. “Not like anyone believed me, but what other explanation could I have given them that made any sense? By the way, _thank you so much_ for not giving me a heads up about him.”

He shook his head, gulping.

“I didn’t… I’m so sorry…”

“Oh _no_ , you were just too busy rutting on me up against a wall to mention, ‘hey, I sent this assassin after you guys, might want to be on the lookout for him!’” she snapped, holding out her arms in exasperation. “Glad to know your priorities were in order.”

The prince inhaled sharply, taking offense to that insult and drawing his shoulders back as all traces of guilt quickly faded away.

“Look, I’ve already apologized for sending him after your group and I’m sorry, I was wrong to do that,” he countered. “But don’t act like you’re innocent in all of this, either. _I’m_ not the one who instigated things. _I’m_ not the one who made the first move.”

Katara let out a gasp of indignation, heat rising in her cheeks.

“What are you saying?” she asked coldly.

He scoffed and folded his arms, his piercing gaze remaining fixed on her.

“If I recall, _you’re_ the one who kissed me and then tried to seduce me…” he began before she cut him off.

“Are you kidding me?!” she shrieked. “The only reason I did any of that is because you had me pinned against the wall and I couldn’t break free. So I had to improvise, and that was the first thing that popped into my mind, because I knew you wouldn’t expect it.”

Zuko blinked, visibly recoiling and stepping backwards.

“I shouldn’t have put you in that position in the first place, where you felt like that was your only option,” he admitted quietly. “I’m sorry for that…”

Then his voice grew harsh once more and his eyes flashed in barely concealed fury.

“But that doesn’t change the fact that _you_ were the one who initiated the kiss and what happened right after,” he growled, walking forwards.

Even though she didn’t have her waterskin on her and was at a distinct disadvantage, Katara refused to back down, even when he was less than a foot away, scowling down at her. 

“It was either that or waste my time yelling at you all night,” she insisted, although she knew how faulty her logic was. “You could argue with a brick wall until you were blue in the face and still keep going, and I didn’t want to waste any more time-”

He snorted, cutting her off.

“Then I finally caved and gave you an outing so you could escape,” he continued, ignoring that particular jab, probably because he had no comeback given how accurate it was. “And what did you do? _You’re_ the one who stuck around and didn’t put up a fight when I kissed you, even though I made sure once again you had plenty of time to change your mind and back out.”

She had no way to counter that, so she just glared up at him, unwilling to be the first one to break eye contact.

“I even asked you if you wanted me to keep going once we got started, and you said _yes_ ,” he said in a low voice, taking another step towards her.

This time she stepped backwards, bumping up against the side of the house, just like last time.

Once again he caged her in by planting his palms flat against the wall on either side of her head, except now instead of that damned smirk, he glowered down at her.

Both were silent, staring the other down for what seemed like an eternity. At last he spoke, breaking the quiet.

“What do you _want_ from me, Katara?” he growled, frustration etched across his features. “I know you’re still upset about everything I’ve done in the past, and I get that. I don’t expect you to just move on, but I _am_ trying to make up for who I used to be and all the terrible things I’ve done.”

She considered cutting him off but he continued before she could.

“That’s why I finally turned my back on my father so I could do something right for once in my life, and that’s why I helped break yours out of imprisonment, even though I’m currently my country’s number one fugitive besides Aang,” he said, grinding his teeth. “Then I got captured and was almost shipped back to the capital in chains. Right now, I’m the one person my father might hate more than the Avatar. Do you have any idea what kind of cruelty Ozai is capable of, especially towards traitors?”

Katara slowly shook her head and he glanced up, exhaling wisps of smoke overheard into the space above them before he tilted his chin back down to look at her. 

“Trust me, it’s better if you don’t know. The fact that I’m his son wouldn’t make a difference, either. If anything, I would have gotten it even worse.”

A chill ran down her spine at the implications, but she tried to ignore it. Some of the harshness in his voice dissipated with his next words.

“You’re still feeling betrayed about what happened in Ba Sing Se, and believe me, if I could I’d go back and do things right this time. I know you’re still angry at me, and I know I deserve it, I’m not arguing with you on that…. but I _am_ trying to be a better person, Katara. Not for your sake or your family’s or even Aang’s, but for my own. That’s why I’m here _now_ , trying to help you get closure about your mother’s death when no one else lifted a finger.”

Then Zuko’s eyes narrowed.

“But don’t you _dare_ try to pin what happened here all on me,” he snarled. “You’re just as guilty as I am for what we did together that night.”

~*~*~

Her heart was pounding furiously against her ribs, and she wasn’t sure if she wanted to scream and shove him away, or if she wanted to break down crying and wrap her arms around his neck instead.

Zuko frowned down at her, as if he could sense the war raging on inside her head.

“I still don’t know how I got out here back then,” she admitted testily, balling her skirt up in her fists as it hung by her sides. “I thought it was all a dream too at first, and so that’s why I kissed you and went along with everything else… I didn’t think it was real...”

Something registered in his head, and he closed his eyes, ducking his head.

The rest of her sentence died in her throat as he pushed himself off of the wall, backing away and staring down at her sadly.

“I am so, so sorry,” he interrupted hoarsely. “I didn’t realize… I thought you knew we were actually…”

He wiped his palms down the front of his face, and when his eyes met hers again, he looked absolutely stricken, nauseated even. Katara’s eyes widened in horror when she realized what he was implying, and she shook her head vehemently. 

“Zuko, _no_ ,” she said sharply. “You didn’t take advantage of me or anything like that. I went along with everything willingly.”

He appeared to be relieved but not comforted by that admission.

“So what’s your problem then?” he snapped, stepping forward again and glaring down at her. “If you’re not upset because of that, why are you still mad about what happened that night?”

She was breathing heavily now, resisting the urge to shove him away and storm off. He folded his arms and closed his eyes, exhaling slowly as they opened.

“Look, I know you hate me-”

“I _don’t_ hate you.”

He raised his eyebrow in disbelief

“You sure about that? Because you’re putting up one hell of an argument convincing me otherwise.”

“I don’t hate you, Zuko, but I’m still angry about everything you’ve done.”

The prince took a step backward, and he visibly deflated.

“I thought as much,” he admitted bitterly, “which is why I’m having such a hard time reconciling that fact with how you acted that night.”

She shook her head and leaned back against the wall, crossing her arms.

“I told you, I was just using your own instincts against you so you’d let me go,” she said quietly. “Was it ethical? No, and I shouldn’t have taken it that far, but I didn’t feel like I had a choice at the time. Then I got carried away and you didn’t help matters, until I got so worked up I just had to get off…”

Katara trailed off, sending him a warning glare as the corners of his lips twitched upwards.

“If you say something about how you hear that all the time from other girls, I swear I’ll _slap_ you,” she threatened.

He just ducked his head and cleared his throat until all hints of his smirk had faded and it was safe to look at her again.

“I wasn’t going to say anything,” he said coolly. “Just glad I could be of assistance, letting you use my body like your own personal plaything.”

She scoffed, rolling her eyes.

“We were both just using each other that night, Zuko. Don’t act like you didn’t know that from the start.”

“Oh, I knew that from the moment you kissed me,” he retorted, “and fine, I was just using you too…”

His voice turned surprisingly tender when he continued.

“…up until a certain point.”

She tilted her head, narrowing her eyes.

“Which was?” she asked, gritting her teeth.

“Once you asked me to put you back down and you started talking about how you didn’t mean for things to go so far,” he said quietly. “Everything after that was me being sincere. Every kiss, every hug. Especially when I admitted that I’d liked you ever since the North Pole.”

He must have slightly misremembered things from that night - he’d said he thought she was pretty since then.

Not that he’d _liked_ her.

Katara forced herself to maintain a neutral expression at this revelation as he paused, scanning her face eagerly.

“Weren’t you being honest by that point, too?” he asked.

As much as she wished otherwise, Katara had indeed opened herself up to him back then, pleading for him to come with her that night. Still, she had no intention of letting him know just how good his body felt pressing between her thighs and how much melting in his kisses had affected her.

Now, she just wanted to use the ocean to grab him by the waist and hold him under until he drowned.

“No, I wasn’t,” she said, feigning indifference. “I was just thinking pragmatically, trying to get Aang a firebending teacher. I was only thinking of the fate of the world when I asked you to come with me.”

He gave her a lopsided smile that didn’t reach his eyes.

“And we’re back to the lying,” he sighed.

She bristled.

“I’m not lying-”

“Yes you _are_ , Katara. I know because I’m the world’s worst at lying, and while I can’t always tell when someone is good at it, I know another bad liar when I see one.”

His voice didn’t sound angry, though. If anything, he sounded tired and a bit sad.

She didn’t know why it impacted her so much just now, but she didn’t want to spend any more time dwelling on it.

“I’m not a bad liar,” she protested.

Zuko shook his head and scoffed.

“Convince me, then,” he said. “I’ll ask you some things that I know are true or false, and we’ll see if I can pick up on the lies.”

She didn’t feel like drowning him so much anymore, although she did want to throw him clean into the ocean. Maybe he’d drown all on his own.

“Fine,” she said through gritted teeth. “If that’s how you want to play, so be it.”

~*~*~

Katara took a moment to compose herself before putting on her most disarming smile as he began the stupid test.

“You’re the best waterbender our age in both the Southern and Northern Tribes.”

“Since I’m technically a master and the only one left in my tribe…”

“Just say yes or no, Katara, and let me figure out what’s a lie.”

She sniffed with contempt.

“Yes.”

Zuko nodded, and a trace of a smile lit up his face when he determined that she was telling the truth.

She tried not to think of how much of an improvement it was over his usual scowl, how his eyes crinkled up or how his lips curved over his teeth…

“You think Fire Nation food isn’t spicy enough.”

“… _yes_.”

He broke out into a full grin.

“That’s a lie.”

“It’s not my fault you people want to drown everything in chilis.”

The prince shrugged.

“I’ll allow that, although you should really give peppers more of a chance. You’re missing out.”

She snorted, much to his amusement.

“Moving on… you get tired taking care of everyone else all of the time.”

Katara frowned and raised her eyebrow at this but was perfectly honest when she replied “yes.”

He studied her then, with no small amount of curiosity. 

“Then why do you?” he asked, intrigued. “Why don’t you let them fend for themselves every once in a while?”

“Because nothing would ever get done.”

“Maybe you should take a break more often. Maybe they’d finally learn how important you are and pick up the slack.”

She let out a _hmph_.

“That’d be nice, but don’t hold your breath.”

“For what it’s worth, I think you do entirely too much,” he said gently, almost sounding sincere. “You deserve to be taken care of sometimes, too.”

Katara was taken aback by this confession, all too aware that blatant surprise was written all over her face. She especially didn’t like the look of tenderness creeping into his eyes as he watched her, either.

It was time to get back on track and get this stupid thing over with.

“Did you have any more questions, or are you done interrogating me?” she asked, although her tone was significantly less snappish than before.

“Just a couple,” he said, shifting his weight, seeming nervous all of a sudden.

Several seconds of silence passed before he spoke again.

“You hate me.”

She immediately shook her head.

“No, I don’t hate you,” she said. “Do I like you? No. But I don’t hate you.”

The tension released in his shoulders, and although he seemed relieved, he also didn’t quite seem satisfied by her answer, either.

“Good, that’s… good,” he mumbled, eyes darting to the ground between them. “One last question then.”

Yet he hesitated, and she finally had to prod him into asking it. Even then, he was reluctant to meet her gaze at first.

Zuko swallowed nervously, and minuscule tendrils of smoke rose from his fingertips.

“You regret everything we did that night together and wish you could take it all back. You wish you’d never kissed me or that you let me hold you.”

That _bastard_.

He knew he had her too, as he had seen through her lies thus far with ease. So she gritted her teeth and balled up her fists as they hung trembling at her sides.

“… yes.”

A curious expression overtook his face then, a blend of both relief and disappointment, somehow. 

“Liar,” he said softly, with another smile that didn’t reach his eyes.

~*~*~

She didn’t even try to protest, although she knew she should at least make an attempt to argue otherwise.

After what felt like an eternity of silence, Zuko sighed and took a cautious step forward, holding out his arms.

“Who are you mad at, Katara?” he asked, taking another step towards her. “Is it me? Yourself? Maybe even both of us?”

How was he able to do that, to see right through her every single damned time?

She allowed herself to be backed against the wall and caged in again, absentmindedly wondering why they kept ending up like this, as she gazed into those golden eyes that threatened to consume her.

“I know you’re still probably freaked out by what happened,” he said gently, reaching out and taking her small hand in his larger, rough one, squeezing gently. “I was too, and if we’re being honest, I’m _still_ scared. Like I mentioned before, I also figured out some time ago that I cared about you, even though I never expected anything to ever happen, given our history and… well, everything.”

Katara made no move to wrench her hand free, stifling a gasp as his own grew warmer, though not unbearably so.

“Then _that_ night happened, and I know how it started, I know we were just using each other at first,” he whispered, fear evident in his eyes. “But right before it ended… when you asked me to join the group back then… I was about to say yes. I was about to throw it all away and come with you.”

She swallowed and noticed then that he was holding both of her hands in his now as well, her fingers curled around his as his thumbs rubbed careful circles against her knuckles.

He glanced down for a moment, smiling sadly.

“It’s okay,” he said softly, raising his eyes to meet hers. “I’m not trying to put any pressure on you, because I realize how weird this whole situation is, and I don’t want you to feel like you have to answer a certain way just to make me happy. It’s just… I’ve been driving myself insane over the last few months, wondering if what happened that night was real or not, and now that I finally know-”

“Zuko,” she said quickly, before her voice had the chance to waver. “What happened that night _was_ real… but I still haven’t forgiven you and I don’t know if I ever will.”

The prince dropped her hands and stepped back immediately as if she’d slapped him.

He swallowed loudly and his knuckles cracked when he clenched his fists and unflexed them as they hung helplessly by his sides. When he exhaled moments later, a few small flames escaped along with wisps of smoke.

“I understand,” he said hoarsely. “You’re right, I’m so sorry, I never should have said anything or even brought you here…”

She regarded him in the fading light, all too aware of the pounding in her heart and how lightheaded she felt, as if she were being held underwater.

“For what it’s worth, I’m sorry for what I did to you that night,” she said softly.

To her bewilderment, though, he shook his head, his heated gaze staring her down, and it was like facing a wildfire.

“I’m not.”

The waterbender tilted her head, her mouth hanging open slightly.

“What do you mean?” she asked, thankful she was leaning against the wall after all – it was the only thing keeping her upright.

However, he declined to answer that, taking another step backwards.

“We’ll leave first thing in the morning,” he said brusquely, effortlessly slipping on an impassive mask, appearing to be business as usual. “Help yourself to whatever you want in the house, it’s all yours. I don’t care about anything left in there.”

With that, he spun on his heel and started to walk away, not stopping even when she called out after him. She let out a loud huff and had no choice but to gather her wits and follow, her hands shaking as she caught up with him once they reached the doorway.

“Zuko, wait, slow down… would you at least listen to me?” she snapped, sounding a bit harsher than she meant to, but her head was spinning too much to care. “I’m not used to people seeing me vulnerable like that, and it scared me-”

At that, he finally paused and acknowledged her presence, wearing his all too familiar scowl once more as he glowered down at her.

“You’re not the only one who was scared or vulnerable that night,” he said coldly. “Or do you think I go around telling just _anyone_ that I don’t want to let them go?”

She sucked in a breath and he flinched, as if he hadn’t meant to say any of that out loud, especially the last part.

“Tomorrow when we get back to the camp, we’ll just tell the others that this trip didn’t work out,” he continued, his voice shaky. “I’ll… I’ll leave you alone from now on, and you won’t have to speak to me ever again unless you want to.”

“Zuko…”

He let out a mirthless chuckle.

“You claim that you don’t hate me,” he said, unable to meet her eyes. “Maybe it’s better if you do, considering all I’ve put you through. Can’t say I’d blame you, either.”

And with that, he vanished into his bedroom, slamming the door closed behind him, the locks clicking into place before Katara could even reach for the handle.

~*~*~

Katara hesitated outside of his room for several minutes, her palm resting flat against the doorframe.

Eventually she let it fall to her side and trudged back to the courtyard, her feet as heavy as stone as they led her away.

Appa had settled down on the tiles and was taking a much-deserved nap, otherwise she would have offered him treats for all of his hard work. Still, she scratched his head and he rumbled sleepily in content.

She found her waterskin still propped up by the fountain and slung it over her shoulder, gathering up the rest of her stuff.

Then she set off for the bathhouse, deciding to give Zuko as much space as he needed, hopeful that they might be able to talk things over before the return trip in the morning.

But for now, she needed to clear her own head.

It took some experimentation and what Sokka called Water Tribe Ingenuity, but eventually she figured out how to bend water from the pipes into one of the larger pools. She lit a series of fires in the pits underneath to warm the bath until it was thoroughly warmed, filling the entire room with steam.

Then she selected a scent from the selection of salts that still smelled fragrant, some blend of fire lilies and roses, and dumped a good portion of it into the water, stirring it in.

She untied her hair from its ponytail and stripped off his oversized black tunic that he’d lent her and her own clothes before climbing into the bath, tossing in a fistful of dried lily petals first for good measure.

The pool was big enough so she could float on her back without touching the edges. Once she was completely soaked, she submersed herself, bending a bubble of air around her face as she sank to the bottom.

She blinked, staring up through the murky, scented water as she contemplated whether or not she could stay down here forever. It would certainly be easier than confronting everything wrong with her life once she surfaced.

While she still hadn’t forgiven Zuko, she _had_ grown to trust him, so she had little doubt that his near confession earlier had been sincere.

And therein lied the problem of this whole situation.

~*~*~

Over the last several days – no, months actually, ever since he’d joined their side – her entire understanding of the Fire Prince had been completely upended.

During their private meeting at the Western Air Temple and their first one-on-one conversation alone ever since _that_ night, she had instructed him to keep his distance lest she kill him, pretending she didn’t see the flash of recognition and longing in his eyes.

To his credit he obeyed her commands faithfully, often slinking around in the shadows whenever he wasn’t teaching Aang.

Once the pair returned from their trip to the Sun Warriors, however, he grew bolder, occasionally joining their group around the fire, although he stayed silent unless spoken to.

Then he and her brother had snuck out on a secret mission to rescue her father from prison, even freeing Suki and Chit Sang the random firebender inmate in the process.

That was when Katara’s walls started to crack even further, the moment she was reunited with her father and embraced him and her brother while fighting back tears of joy. She had been vaguely aware of the others smiling around the three of them, but at one point her eyes fluttered open and caught Zuko’s.

He was hanging back from the rest of the crowd, and he wore a genuinely happy smile on his face. It occurred to Katara that she’d never seen him look that way before, as if he were pleased that he’d helped out someone in need.

Once he realized she was looking at him, though, he quickly ducked his head and turned away.

It wasn’t quite enough to endear him to her, but it was a start… at least until his evil sister and her calvary sent them scrambling a few days later, and what remained of her little family was ripped apart once more.

Zuko had disobeyed her rules during the attack that morning for just a moment, tackling her out of the way of falling ceiling tiles.

She’d had no time to scream, much less react before his familiar warm arms wrapped around her waist, yanking her away just in time and using his body as a cushion as they’d skidded across the hard stone floor.

The wind was knocked out of them both upon impact, and eventually they stopped rolling once he landed on top, pressing her front down against the tiles. Katara took just long enough to gulp for air before she whipped her head around to yell at him.

He froze when he realized what he’d done, how he’d crossed one of her boundaries and disregarded her ultimatums. To his credit, he didn’t try to protest once she pushed him off before climbing to her feet.

“Sorry,” he’d mumbled. “I was just trying to keep the rocks from crushing you. It won’t happen again.”

At that, he’d pushed himself to his feet and let out a soft growl of pain, using firebending to heat his palm and hold it against his back for a moment against a bruise. Then he’d run off to face his sister, buying them several valuable minutes to escape.

Later, when he was free falling after his fight atop the airships, she hadn’t had to think twice.

Katara had reached out instinctively, somehow catching him and pulling him to safety, only breathing a sigh of relief once he landed in the saddle with them.

For a split second she had been terrified that they wouldn’t reach him in time, that his hands would slip through her fingertips just before they met…

At the time, she ignored how relieved she’d been as his body crashed into hers upon landing, how grateful she was that he was safe and near her.

He had clutched her hands for a moment before he realized it, panting as he caught his breath, although she hadn’t protested at the closeness. They stared at each other for some heartbeats until he sat up and shifted away, finally letting her go.

And her brain had been hopelessly muddled ever since.

Now, however, as she floated upwards and broke through the surface of the water gasping for air, she had no choice but to accept the reality that she did care about him after all. She still hadn’t forgiven him, and she wasn’t sure exactly what she’d call this feeling.

It wasn’t love; that much was certain. Perhaps affection, now that she realized he wasn’t evil incarnate? Maybe longing and even a hint of lust, as memories of that night came rushing back?

She didn’t hate Zuko, that much was true, and she hadn’t entirely forgiven him either. Yet she hadn’t been completely honest earlier during his interrogation.

Once she dried off and dressed again, this time in her scarlet clothing from _that_ night – it was only appropriate, she thought sardonically – she set off for his bedchamber, her mind made up for better or for worse.

~*~*~

Thankfully he answered after only a few knocks, otherwise she was prepared to camp outside his door all night long, just as he’d done to her not so long ago.

Zuko leaned against the doorway with folded arms, and his hair still held traces of dampness from his own shower earlier, as a peek over his shoulders revealed an adjoining washroom.

“Hi,” she said calmly, her chin lifted in defiance and what she hoped was bravery.

“Hey,” he returned evenly, gazing down with a neutral expression on his face.

She wasted no time addressing the unspoken things between them, immediately diving into the heart of the matter with as much directness as a firebender.

Better get this over with before she lost her nerve, she reasoned.

“Earlier, when I apologized for everything that happened that night, you said you weren’t sorry,” she began, resting her hands on her hips. “What did you mean by that? And why did you bring me here again?”

“Katara,” he groaned, wiping his hand down his face. “I don’t want to get into this…”

“Well that’s too bad, because I _do_ ,” she retorted. “I’d like an explanation.”

The prince sighed and observed her in silence for some moments.

“Are you sure that’s a good idea right now, especially after the emotional last few days you’ve had?” he asked.

“Yes, I am,” she said stubbornly, folding her arms over her chest. “I’ll wait out here all night long until you’re ready to talk, I’ll even take a conversation while we’re flying back tomorrow, but it is going to happen one way or another.”

He nodded weakly, recognizing that he had no other choice but to comply and invite her in.

Once they were seated – him on his bed, her in a rather comfortable chair a few feet away – she repeated her previous questions.

The first answer seemed innocuous enough, as he once again stated that she probably needed to unwind before rejoining the others.

“And… a part of me was curious to see if you’d remember being here,” he confessed. “If not, then I would finally know if it was all in my head.”

She frowned but technically couldn’t fault him for that logic, she supposed.

“Fair enough,” she conceded. “What about my other question? Why aren’t you sorry about what we did that night?”

Zuko frowned and stared at the floor.

“It’s complicated, and you’re not going to like the answer,” he replied cagily, clasping his hands together.

She merely crossed her arms.

“Try me.”

He huffed and stared off to the side, as if he couldn’t bear to look at her just then.

“This may come as a surprise to you, but I’ve only been intimate with one other person,” he said after a few minutes, fidgeting nervously. “I don’t let myself act vulnerable like that very often, because in the past it’s always been used against me. So once I figured out what you were doing, how you were using me, I was furious… at least at first.”

She regarded him in silence, taking in the way he was slumped over, how his body posture screamed that he was uncomfortable opening up like this.

Still he continued, even as his voice wavered.

“Look, I didn’t mean to blurt out earlier what I said about liking you since the North Pole. I figured it was a one-sided thing, and I’ve never expected anything to come of it. Hoped for reciprocation? Yes. But I also know it just isn’t realistic. Even after I joined the group, I thought of it more as an ‘admire you from a distance’ kind of crush but not get my hopes up. But whenever I thought about what we did together all those months ago….”

The prince raked his fingers through his hair, mussing it up.

“You did _something_ to my brain that night. I don’t know how, but you got under my skin and crawled straight into my heart, until the thought of you walking away physically made my chest hurt. I… I don’t know how to explain it. Just holding you and kissing you and feeling you like that… I’ve _never_ felt that way before, like I was being consumed, and I haven’t felt like that ever since.”

Zuko paused, glancing apprehensively up at her.

“I never dreamed I’d get the chance to do anything with you, ever. So when it happened that night, that’s why I wasn’t too upset even though I knew you were using me, because I knew I’d never get the chance to be that close to you again. I would rather have memories of that one night than nothing at all.”

He sighed, no doubt noting the astonished expression on her face.

“Like I said before, once we return to camp with the others, you’ll barely see me and you won’t even have to speak to me if you don’t want to. I’ll keep my distance…”

Katara shook her head, even as he continued.

“I know you don’t like me, especially not in the way I’d like you to,” he confessed. “That’s okay, though, I can live with that. Give me time, and I’ll eventually get it out of my system and we can forget it ever happened.”

The waterbender scoffed lightly, drawing a brief glare from him.

“What was _that_ for?” he snapped.

She merely shook her head, leaning forward in her seat.

“Now who’s the liar?” she challenged.

Zuko stared at her, flabbergasted, before growling in frustration and flinging himself back against the bed and sprawling out atop the covers.

“What do you _want_ from me, Katara?” he grumbled. “I’m trying to do the right thing and not be the bad guy anymore. Just let me deal with this, and I’ll be fine.”

She huffed and stood up, marching over to lean against his bedpost and glower down at him.

“You keep saying that you’ll go back to slinking around in the shadows and that I won’t ever have to talk to you again,” she snapped. “But that’s not what _I_ want, Zuko. I don’t want to go back to the time when we hardly talked, when you walked on eggshells around me. Even though it’s been difficult, what with confronting that monster from my past… I’ve enjoyed spending time with you these last few days. I don’t want to give that up and act like we used to.”

He clearly hadn’t been expecting that, as he sat up and leaned back on his palms, watching her curiously with no small amount of confusion.

“What are you saying?” he asked in a low voice.

Katara willed herself not to let her legs wobble or her voice to crack.

“You’re not as good at picking up on my lies as you think you are,” she admitted after a moment’s hesitance.

His eyes narrowed in suspicion.

“What are you-”

“I _do_ like you.”

She didn’t miss the way he inhaled sharply or how his golden eyes grew wide, nor did she miss the way he swallowed loudly in spite of himself while blinking several times to make sure this wasn’t just a dream.

“I’m not saying I want a relationship or anything serious,” she said softly. “I still haven’t forgiven you, but I don’t hate you, and I _do_ like you. I’m not sure how deep those feelings go, though…”

Her sentence died down as he trailed his fingers through his hair again, ruffling it up as he absorbed her words.

When he finally spoke again, his voice was hoarser than usual.

“What are you saying?” he asked again, breathing heavily. “What do you want, Katara?”

She still had time to back out, to turn around and walk away before either of them crossed a line and did something they could never take back.

It was unfair to him, too, especially after his confession earlier. She also knew she would feel awful about her next actions once it was all over and she could think clearly again.

Still, she took a deep breath and plunged headfirst into the flames.

“I want to be selfish,” she whispered. “I want to pick up where we left off that night and finish what we started.”

Katara didn’t think it was possible for his eyes to grow any rounder, but he managed it somehow, even letting his jaw drop in the process.

“But I know we can’t, because that wouldn’t be fair to you,” she added quickly. “I don’t want to hurt you by giving you something you’ve been wanting for a long time and tearing it out of your hands immediately afterwards. That would be cruel, and I don’t want to do that to you…”

She swallowed as he edged off of the bed and stood before her, only mere inches separating them.

“If… if this is what you want, then I want it too,” he breathed, cautiously reaching out to trace the side of her face with his warm, calloused fingers. “I won’t get my hopes up either, because I already know going into it that it can’t last.”

His hand was trembling as he let it fall back to her side. There was still time to back out, they hadn’t gone past the point of no return yet…

“Are you sure?” she asked quietly. “Are you sure you would be okay with going through with this, even though it’s just for one night, and it will probably never happen again? That once tomorrow comes, I’m not sure if I’ll even want to talk about what happened?”

Zuko didn’t even hesitate before he smiled and leaned forward to kiss her temple, letting his lips linger against her skin.

“I’d rather have only one night with you, to touch you and kiss you and hold you in my arms, than a lifetime without,” he murmured, eyes crinkling up. “Trust me, I’ll be fine. Are you absolutely sure, though?”

She remained silent, reaching down to shimmy out of her leggings as that was far easier than talking just now.

The prince watched, captivated, as she tangled her fingers up in his messy dark hair and pulled his face down towards hers, pressing the length of her body flush up against him.

With a groan his arms encircled her, lifting her off her feet entirely as he held her up to his chest and returned the kiss, slowly and sweetly at first.

All restraint vanished from his touch moments later, though, once she nudged him backwards onto the bed and straddled his lap.

His breath hitched in his throat and he growled as she settled down against him, gently rolling her hips forward to meet his, just like she’d done all those nights ago while pinned to the wall.

Zuko’s hands settled on her back and waist, pulling her as close to him as possible, groaning into her mouth as she built up a slow, steady rhythm that grew more erratic once his body started to respond.

It was only once he pressed his mouth against her throat as she rocked them, carefully sucking on the delicate skin where he once left a trail of bruises, that Katara became aware of her mistake.

As he gazed up at her in awe and something else she dared not name just yet, she realized Zuko had tricked her yet again.

He was a better liar than she previously thought, although his shields were undoubtedly cracking now as he opened his heart to her. Maybe he hadn’t lied to her so much as lied to himself, though.

But it was far too late by that point, and they had no choice but to let themselves be consumed, to hell with the consequences or their better judgement.

To hell with it all.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fair warning - this update is going to HURT. 
> 
> This chapter finally sees them acting on their impulses, but as both are too emotionally compromised at the moment, it's not going to end well. I know a lot of people wanted a steamy resolution between them, but it felt out of place including it at this point in the story. 
> 
> There is smut in this chapter, but it'll make you sad, if that makes any sense. There is also a hefty dose of angst by the end, although happier times are on the horizon for them both. 
> 
> Also I toyed with including this song or Stone Sour's cover of "Wicked Games" at the beginning, but ultimately decided on the Bon Iver cover, as it somehow broke my heart more. Still, the SS song almost won out, because sidenote Corey Taylor's softer vocals go extremely well with Zuko, in my opinion. 
> 
> Anyways, see you all down in the comments with pints of ice cream and hugs. They'll get better and rise above it all, but they've got to fall first... and in a future chapter, they'll get a second chance and it won't break your heart into a million little pieces.

_Lay down with me, tell me no lies  
Just hold me close and don't patronize me_

_Morning will come, and I'll do what's right  
Just give me till then to give up this fight..._

_[I Can’t Make You Love Me – Bon Iver](https://youtu.be/Q3VjaCy5gck) _

* * *

_This is wrong_ , he told himself over and over again. _You’re only going to hurt her and yourself in the end._

He knew this was a mistake, that what they were doing would only make things more painful for them both in the long run.

Their budding friendship would be destroyed before it even had the chance to bloom. The thought of barely speaking to her or going back to avoiding each other was more than he could bear.

Both were far too emotionally compromised at the moment for either of them to walk away afterwards unscathed.

Katara was still spiraling after the confrontation with her mother’s killer earlier and was seeking any form of solace she could find, anything to distract her mind from the inevitable mental breakdown that was coming soon.

And he cared about her far too much by now for this to be purely physical or a onetime hookup.

When tomorrow dawned, they would pretend as though this never even happened, not to be spoken of ever again.

Once again she was just using him; only this time he was all too happy to let her.

If he couldn’t give her peace of mind for her broken heart, at the very least he could offer whatever she asked of him, even if it devastated his very soul in the process.

Deep down he knew this was the unhealthiest possible method of addressing everything between them, that they both would regret this in the morning.

But he couldn’t bring himself to stop, and neither could she.

~*~*~

To her credit, though, she did pause while they were still fully clothed and pulled away from their kiss, panting.

“Are you sure you still want to go through with this?” she gasped out, resting her forehead against his. “I’m being so selfish, and I’m scared that this is going to hurt you too much.”

Zuko closed his eyes, inhaling the sweet scent of her as he palmed up and down her back.

He had wanted her so badly for so long that just feeling her warmth pressing down, so close but still achingly out of reach, was almost enough to send him over the edge.

How often had he dreamed of a moment with Katara like this, of breathing her in, feeling her arms draped around his neck, hearing her whimper as he latched onto the soft skin of her throat?

How could he possibly let her go once this night was over?

It might actually kill him, and yet…

“I don’t care about that right now,” he rasped, and he meant it – he had the rest of his life to nurse the shattered remains of himself.

Whereas they only had until sunrise, and until the sun’s rays crested over the horizon, he had no intention of wasting a single moment with her.

It was perhaps the only time he dreaded seeing his celestial body rise and wanted to stay in the moonlight with her for eternity.

“I _want_ you to be selfish, Katara,” he continued. “For once in your life, be selfish. _Please_.”

All it would cost him was his heart.

That seemed a small price to pay, so long as she found some shred of comfort and happiness in the end.

He hadn’t been lying earlier when he proclaimed that he would rather have just one night with her than none at all. Just one chance to hold her in his arms to kiss and caress her like he always prayed he would somehow, someday.

The memories of tonight might even be enough to drown out the devastation of feeling her slip away whenever they separated tomorrow morning.

Even if the pain became so unbearable later that he couldn’t stand it… all he had to do was think of her smile and remember her lips against his, and the soul-crushing agony would somehow be worth it.

She was always worth it, in the end.

Katara still seemed hesitant though, so he rained kisses all along her collarbone, carefully avoiding her treasured blue necklace.

“If you want to stop, if you change your mind or genuinely don’t want to do this… we don’t have to,” he murmured against her skin. “But if you’re only saying no because you’re worried about hurting me or think you’d be doing me a favor pushing me away… don’t you _dare_.”

He tilted his head backwards, memorizing how she looked in the candlelight from this angle, comfortably settled in his lap and storing it away to keep for the rest of his life.

Her hair was mussed up from where his fingers had entangled themselves; her lips slightly swollen from all of their kissing, her flushed chest rising and falling above him, a pink in her cheeks and a hunger in her eyes that he was all too eager to let himself be consumed by.

She was stunning like this, even more so than normal, and he would cherish this vision of her as long as he lived.

“What do you want?” he whispered, kissing her neck again. “Tell me.”

Katara closed her eyes for a moment, and a look of sadness washed over her face as she reached up to untie her mother’s necklace and set it aside on the nightstand.

When she gazed back down at him, though, there was no more uncertainty or fear, only a sea of blue waiting to pull him under her riptides.

“You,” she breathed. “I want _you_.”

~*~*~

Her fingers trembled as they reached out for Zuko’s, although the warmth emanating from his helped steady her nerves somewhat.

She watched his eyes darken as she rested his hands on her ribcage and guided them under the edge of her top, drawing in a breath as they slid up all on their own.

He cautiously palmed against the fabric of her sarashi, pressing down and massaging her breasts as her head lolled back and she sighed happily, closing her eyes.

Soon he was reaching out to slide her crimson top upwards, and she raised her arms to help him slip it off of her.

She couldn’t help but giggle, though, when he tilted his head to the side upon seeing the strips of white fabric still wrapped across her chest.

“Need any help?” she teased, deciding to spare him from further confusion as he nodded sheepishly.

Perhaps she could have drawn the process out more, making him wait and tantalizing him with sneak peeks, but they were running on borrowed time and she couldn’t bear to wait anymore.

Once she discarded it off to the side, he wasted no time cupping her chest in his warm hands, grinning up at her in admiration as he expertly rolled her nipples around between his fingers.

“You’re so beautiful,” he whispered.

She couldn’t help but smirk down at him.

“Just wait until you see me completely – oh.”

 _Oh_.

The boast died on Katara’s lips as his mouth latched onto one of her breasts, kissing and sucking all over, concentrating on the pebbled skin around her nipple until she gasped.

Damn him and that sinful mouth of his.

She was left with no choice but to cradle his head in her hands, kissing the dark locks at his crown and murmuring words of encouragement between breathy moans.

Then he brought out his teeth and grazed them against her delicate skin and she whimpered, arching her body towards his chest. He just chuckled and planted an apologetic kiss on the spot he’d nipped at.

“Did that hurt?” he asked.

She shook her head, breathless as she peppered kisses all over his face, cupping his chin in her hands like she was holding something precious.

Zuko closed his eyes and allowed himself to get carried away for a moment, pretending that he was _hers_ and that she _always_ did this, as delusional as that may have been.

When he opened his eyes again, he allowed them to say the words he never could and his vulnerability to show unhindered as he gazed up at her.

“I promise that I won’t hurt you,” he whispered. “I’ll never hurt you again.”

Somehow, she had complete faith that he would protect her no matter what, but she didn’t trust herself to speak just yet, lest her voice cracked and she broke down at last.

“I won’t let anything hurt you as long as I live,” he quietly vowed. “Even after tonight, regardless of what happens between us.”

Then she gasped as he delicately nipped at her breast once more before moving on to properly worship its twin. After he finished his ministrations, he kissed the center of her collarbone, gazing up at her reverently.

She ducked her head to kiss him once more, letting out a muffled yelp of surprise when he leaned back against the pillows without warning and she fell forward.

His intent soon became clear, however, as he carefully rolled them over, smiling down at her with half-lidded eyes.

~*~*~

She helped Zuko shrug off his tunic before pulling him down until his chest was flush against hers, tucking her arms beneath his and palming up and down his bare back. 

“Hi,” she squeaked out, her cheeks flushing, looking like the prettiest thing he’d ever seen safely nestled in his arms and grinning up at him.

“Hi,” he replied warmly, leaning down to kiss her again, propping himself up on his elbows so she wouldn’t be crushed by his weight.

Agni, he could never get tired of kissing her. If he could, he would do it as often as she’d let him and kiss all over her soft, perfect body every opportunity he got.

Since they only had tonight, though, he’d have to settle for showering her with kisses as much as possible.

When they broke apart, he trailed his fingers through her hair, brushing it away from her face. As much as he wanted to take her right then, there were a few things they needed to clear up.

“So, I have to ask… is this your first time?”

A part of him was relieved when she shook her head, although traces of the old prince resurfaced just then, as a small twinge of jealousy flared up inside at the thought of her with someone else.

Still, he knew that was being ridiculous and petty, so he just smiled instead.

“This is only my third,” she explained, closing her eyes momentarily, recalling a previous lover’s face from long ago. “So I don’t really know what I’m doing, at least with someone else involved…”

Could’ve fooled him, what with those hips and her caresses that rendered him weak with just one touch.

“… not that I haven’t gotten myself off plenty since then, because I do whenever I get the chance…”

 _Fuck_ , that was a beautiful mental image. He could just picture it, too, her hand snaking down her stomach and biting back moans as her fingers slipped between her thighs…

“… but anyways, what I’m trying to say is… Zuko? Are you still listening?”

With a jolt he was brought back to the present, shaking his head guiltily while she raised an eyebrow.

“Sorry, I was just imagining you touching yourself and I got distracted,” he admitted, biting back a smirk as her beautiful face turned scarlet. “What were you saying?”

She rolled her eyes but grinned, thankfully.

“I said I’ve only been with one guy, a couple of years ago, and he took the lead both times,” she said, sounding almost businesslike in an effort to mask her uncertainty. “So if that’s how you want to start off at first we can, but I’d like to be on top at least once.”

Bless her, so sweet and innocent in some areas but completely wicked in others.

“Also, I’ve got some tea that will prevent any… _souvenirs_ from tonight,” she added as an afterthought. “Sound good?”

Truthfully, he was also glad she’d thought ahead with the contraceptive tea, as he wouldn’t be under so much pressure to pull out later. Once he finally sank into her, he had a feeling it would be near impossible to leave.

He kept those thoughts to himself, though, and just nodded, kissing the side of her mouth.

“We can do whatever you’d like,” he murmured. “You’re in charge, and I’ll do whatever you want me to…”

He lifted himself off of her, raining slow kisses down her throat and chest, pausing once he reached her stomach and the waistband of her skirt, waiting for permission to continue.

Katara had propped herself up on her elbows, watching him as confusion painted her features.

“What are you doing?” she asked, her tone curious and tense but at least not outright repulsed.

He didn’t even try to hide his surprised reaction, tilting his head to the side. 

“Before, when you… he never…?”

She shook her head, and he barely restrained himself from rolling his eyes or blurting out something rude just then. 

If his path ever crossed with her stupid ex, Zuko made a mental note to punch that idiot directly in the nose for not treating her with the veneration she deserved to have showered upon her, preferably as often as possible. 

The thought that whoever she had previously loved enough to spread her legs for had pushed into her body without first falling to his knees and worshipping her was completely unacceptable.

But Katara probably wouldn’t enjoy him bad talking whoever her first lover had been, so the prince buried those thoughts for now.

If nothing else, he would show her what she’d missed out on before.

That is, if she’d let him.

~*~*~

He exhaled to steady his nerves and made eye contact with her again.

“Do you trust me?” he asked softly. “There’s something I want to try that should make you feel good.”

She studied him intently, and he was reminded once more of that fateful night, when he’d asked for her trust and was rightfully denied. He sincerely hoped she would place her faith in him now.

At long last she nodded, and a surge of masculine pride rushed through him.

Her fingers covered his as he carefully slid off her skirt, pausing once he reached yet another barrier – even more swathes of fabric cruelly blocking him from paradise. He glanced up at her and smirked.

“Can I rip these off or burn them?”

“Don’t you _dare_.”

With a shrug he set about unwrapping the bindings like she’d done earlier, nudging her hips upwards occasionally so he could reach underneath. Once they were loosened enough, her hands joined his in tugging them off completely.

And _fuck_ if the sight of her bare before him wasn’t even more intoxicating than he could have possibly imagined.

Somehow he managed to tear his greedy eyes away from where her thighs met to see her lying flat on her back, covering her face with her hands.

“Katara?” he called softly, causing her head to perk upwards as she peeked down at him from behind her fingertips. “Are you okay? What’s wrong?”

Her face was completely scarlet, and she let out a nervous laugh.

“I’ve never done… well, whatever this is before, and I’m just a little scared,” she admitted. “You’re about to see _all_ of me.”

He peppered gentle kisses right beneath her navel, somehow restraining himself from venturing lower just yet, lest he freak her out.

“That’s the idea,” he said, allowing himself a smirk. “You’re absolutely beautiful, too.”

Somehow her face turned an even brighter shade of crimson, although he noticed the flash in her eyes as well.

He waited for an eternity, his heart hammering away inside his ribs, watching as she finally took a deep breath and nodded.

“I’m ready,” she breathed, staring up at the ceiling before squeezing her eyes shut, her fists gripping the bedsheets. 

Well, that wouldn’t do at all, he thought. So he kissed his way back up her stomach until he reached her lips again, and her eyes flew open to gaze at him in confusion.

“Hey,” he whispered. “It’s okay. If you’re not sure…”

He trailed off as she nodded.

“I’m sure,” she argued. “I’m just feeling nervous, that’s all.”

Zuko grinned and his lips met hers once more before he pulled away, shimmying off of the bed and kneeling beside it. He gestured for her to sit at the edge, and she obeyed, comfortably situating herself and leaning back on her palms, her toes grazing the floor.

Her eyes widened in shock when she finally realized what he intended to do, once he spread her legs and settled them atop his shoulders, curving his arms around her thighs to push them further apart.

She inhaled sharply, and she grasped at the sheets to steady herself, and again he waited anxiously for her blessing to continue.

At last she nodded, and he slowly pressed a trail of kisses along her leg, nipping at the tender skin of her inner thigh just hard enough to leave a mark here or there.

Katara could always heal herself later.

The selfish side of him wanted her to _remember_ what he was about to do to her.

~*~*~

Once he reached her curls – oh, he was not going to last much longer at this rate, being so close to her like this – he skipped over her center to pepper kisses up her other thigh instead.

He grinned to himself at the sound of her pitiful whine, taking his dear sweet time, sucking and leaving love bites scattered across the delicate flesh until he met the apex of her thighs and was gazing up at her in adoration once more.

“Always with the teeth and biting,” she taunted, feigning mock indignation despite the flush in her cheeks and spreading across her chest. “Must you always bite me? It’s so barbaric.”

The prince chose not to reply, instead leaning forward and finally, _finally_ kissing her folds, allowing his tongue and mouth to caress her for just a moment, just long enough to be a tease.

 _Fuck_.

She tasted even better than he’d dreamed she would.

A high-pitched, drawn out moan escaped her lips, before she clamped her hand over her mouth in mortification. He kissed her inner thigh again, nipping at it for good measure.

“Would you rather me stop biting you?” he asked, his voice having grown considerably rougher in the last minute or so.

Another rush of masculine pride surged through him when he noticed her tremble at the sound rumbling from his throat.

Katara shook her head, grinning.

“Please don’t,” she said, giggling behind her palms.

At least she giggled before he pulled her closer, burying his face between her legs again, at which point she gasped.

He slowly laved all around her folds and inside her with his tongue before sucking and nipping at the bundle of nerves right above her center, careful to keep his teeth covered.

Just as he intended, she responded immediately. She let out a series of frantic _ohs_ that grew louder into a crescendo as she keened and writhed against him, biting her lower lip in an attempt to be quiet for some reason.

Zuko paused, drawing another whine from her throat while he grinned wolfishly up at her.

“There’s no one else around, Katara. Be as loud as you want to be.”

He waited long enough to let a familiar smirk wash over his features, one that he’d worn far too often back when he’d been her enemy.

Although he was good now, he certainly was not about to play _nice_ , and she caught the meaning behind his wicked facial expression immediately.

For a heartbeat he wondered if he’d overplayed his hand and scared her off or given her second thoughts, until she graced him with a smirk of her own.

Katara’s pupils were blown wide open and she was breathing heavily in anticipation, her fists bunching up the silk sheets, mouthing _please_ _Zuko, please_. 

Far be it for him to deny her what she desired, then.

She wanted a distraction from her own heartache, so he would give her one.

He would guarantee that she was absolutely sated and completely satisfied no matter what it took from him. Katara deserved nothing less than his absolute best.

If nothing else, he would make sure her voice was hoarse tomorrow from screaming out his name, that she wouldn’t be able to walk a straight line without her legs trembling.

So he set about licking and teasing and sucking between her thighs, wrenching mewls of pleasure from her throat as he felt her fingers eventually tangle up in his hair.

As he was all too aware this was her first time experiencing someone worshipping her properly, he started off slow and gentle. He gradually picked up a steady pace, using his bending to ensure his hands and mouth were comfortably warm to the touch, careful not to burn her.

The more he adored her, though, the more frenzied she became, panting and arching her back. 

She tugged at his locks so hard at times that it almost hurt, which only spurred him on and made it even more satisfying to grant her wishes as she finally stopped holding back and cried out for more, practically sobbing with need.

Katara was _insatiable_ , mewling and pleading for him to keep going, even as she rode out wave after wave of pleasure.

She pulsed and clenched around his fingers as they pumped and rocked her mercilessly, drawing out each of her releases as long as he could while her body shuddered over and over. 

So long as she was his girl for the night, he wouldn’t stop until he had made an utter wreck of her as many times as possible.

~*~*~

At long last she sat up, gripping his hair tightly with one hand and another spread flat against the bed to steady herself, calling out for him to stop, her voice hoarse from screaming.

He immediately complied, pulling his mouth away from her folds, soaked in her juices and swollen from his constant teasing and ministrations. Slickness coated her inner thighs, and there was no telling what state his hair was in, undoubtedly mussed up from her warmth and dampness surrounding him.

It took both of them a few minutes to catch their breath before either could speak, panting heavily. Eventually he was the first to break the silence, pressing delicate kisses to her folds that he’d all but devoured moments earlier, drawing an exhausted but pleased moan from her.

“Are you okay?” he gasped out. “Was that too rough, or…?”

Katara’s arms shook as she leaned back to prop herself up on her elbows, and she still seemed winded, her face scrunched up as she tried to compose herself.

“I’m fine,” she wheezed as her ocean-colored eyes fluttered open. “It just got so intense and felt so _good_ , and I got overstimulated… I… oh _fuck_ , Zuko!”

With that she sprawled back out on the mattress, her chest still heaving, although not as much as before.

He unsteadily got to his feet and discovered that his own legs were shaking, and he ungracefully plopped down on the bed with a grunt. His knees were sore from kneeling on the hard floor and his lungs felt like they were on fire as if he’d just run a marathon.

Still, those were the least of his worries.

His focus was solely on Katara, and he scooted up until he was lying beside her. Zuko leaned over to brush back strands of unruly hair away from her still-flushed face while his other arm slid under the back of her neck for support.

She continued panting, although her breathing finally evened out and her eyes flew open again, glazed over.

“Hi,” she squeaked out.

Yet again he was captivated by how spectacular she looked, even completely _wrecked_ like this.

“Hey,” he replied between deep breaths and kisses all over her face. “Are you okay? Can I get you anything?”

She shook her head and managed a tired grin.

“Nothing’s wrong,” she breathed, trying to clear her mind and noting the visible relief wash over his face. “It was just too much at once, and I couldn’t take it anymore.”

For a moment he’d worried he had gone too far and hurt her in the process. If that had happened, he never would have forgiven himself.

While her own experience regarding intimacy was limited, she had picked up on certain details and information over the years after listening to other women gossip.

Something that she’d heard mentioned on more than one occasion was just how much more powerful releases could be, if one had the right partner.

It was comparable to a little death, they’d said, an idea she had inwardly scoffed at back then.

Her times with Jet had been enjoyable enough, although she’d only managed to come once that night as opposed to him getting off twice. It had been all too brief and intense, but it certainly hadn’t felt like death.

Since then, she’d done far more for her own releases than he ever had, becoming familiar with her own body and what made her feel best. Who else knew her needs better than herself, after all?

Apparently, the Fire Prince _did_.

And it took just one night with him kneeling before her in complete submission and devotion, taking her apart and putting her back together with ease.

With little more than kisses and caresses between her thighs, he had completely upset everything she thought she knew about intimacy, much less him.

None of the times she’d gotten herself off could hold a candle to what he’d done to her just now, wrecking her over and over only to bring her back to life each time.

Perhaps that had been his goal all along, to break her down thoroughly so that when tomorrow came, she would be an entirely different person and no longer felt distraught about anything anymore.

~*~*~

He leaned over and started to kiss her temple, surprised when she tugged him down to kiss her mouth instead.

His girl– _no_ , she was not his girl, he had to keep reminding himself of that fact. Just Katara.

No matter how much he wished otherwise, she was just Katara. She was not his, and he was certainly not hers. 

She quickly regained her stamina as she captured his lips over and over again with more intensity than he would have thought possible, given how wrecked she had been just minutes before.

Not that he was complaining, mind you. 

When she broke the kiss, she cupped his cheek, running her thumb carefully over the lower ridge of his scar and grinned up at him in adoration.

“That was… _wow_ ,” she breathed. “I’ve never felt anything that good before in my life. I’m still shaking.”

Indeed, her legs and body were trembling and her breathing was still faintly ragged, although her eyes were shining up at him just as brilliantly as before.

He hadn’t thought it was possible to become even more aroused than he already was by her, but the hungry look on her face quickly proved him wrong.

“You were so good, so perfect,” he murmured, raining more gentle kisses across her face. “How do you feel now?”

She smirked and ran her fingers through his decidedly messy hair, smoothing it back down as best as possible.

“Like I’m about to die if I don’t feel you inside of me soon,” she declared, her smile only growing wider as his jaw fell open in shock.

It was official; she was going to be the death of him or herself or maybe even the both of them, but oh, how sweet a demise that would be.

Once he composed himself he grinned and ducked his head, planting a string of gentle kisses along her throat.

“Are you sure?” he asked, praying that he’d heard her correctly, otherwise he might spontaneously combust from wanting her. “You’re not too worn out?”

Katara shook her head and winked up at him.

“Oh, you definitely won that round,” she giggled. “Granted, I’ll probably be exhausted in the morning, but…”

She bit her lip, as a blush rose on her cheeks.

“Please, Zuko?” she begged quietly.

Who was he to deny her?

~*~*~

Truth be told, it probably would have been within her best interests to wait just a bit longer before they continued.

But time was slipping away, and she was finally being selfish for once in her life.

Besides, all rational thoughts and excuses vanished the moment she helped him slide down his pants and saw him – _all_ of him – for the first time.

Even though it wasn’t the first time she’d ever seen a man naked, she felt heat rise in her cheeks and a giggle escaped before she could help it.

He seemed far less amused, however.

“You know, that’s _not_ the reaction any guy ever wants to hear once they strip down,” he huffed, rolling his eyes.

To emphasize his point, he folded his arms after sprawling out on the bed and glared up at the ceiling.

Fortunately, she learned he wasn’t truly offended, as his features softened considerably and he let out a hiss when she straddled his lap moments later.

“I promise I’m not laughing at you,” she assured him, slowly rubbing herself back and forth against his length to coat him with her slickness.

He chose not to reply or was either incapable of doing so, as a dazed look came over him from that contact alone. When he finally did speak, it was to whisper a string of curses that somehow sounded as reverent as a prayer.

She grinned and leaned forward, pressing their bare chests together as her lips sought out his.

That seemed to snap him out of whatever haze he was in, and his hands settled on her lower back, nudging her back and forth to create more friction.

“You feel so good,” he groaned, closing his eyes as his face contorted, his brow furrowed in concentration.

Katara swept her hair to the side as she nipped all around his neck, leaving small love bites as retaliation from that night when he’d marked her up.

Not that he seemed to mind in the slightest.

“Would you say this is better or worse than rutting me up against the wall?” she teased, rocking her hips against his and drawing a whine from his throat.

“Better,” he grunted while scrunching up his face. “ _Infinitely_ so.”

His voice was shaking, like he was trying to hold himself back, trying to hold on for just a while longer…

“So what were you laughing at?” he asked minutes later, when he was all but panting in desperation.

Katara shrugged her shoulders and leaned forward to kiss him again.

“Would you believe me if I said I’m feeling shy?”

He arched his eyebrow up at her.

“After everything you’ve done to me so far, the way you’ve been taunting me and driving me crazy? Not sure if I buy it.”

She kissed all around his jawline.

“It’s the truth,” she insisted. “Are you calling me a liar again?”

The prince studied her in silence before a smile slowly spread across his face.

“Not this time,” he said softly. “Ready?”

~*~*~

Once she felt him pressing against her entrance she paused, gathering what remained of her courage before she continued, inhaling and exhaling deeply.

Katara swallowed when she saw the look on his face as he gazed up at her in complete reverence, waiting patiently for her to continue.

Firelight from the nearby candles flickered in time with his heavy breathing, shrinking down to almost nothing before flaring brightly once more.

Somehow, she managed to block everything else out around them, focusing only on the man lying beneath her, trembling in spite of himself.

The rest of the world faded away; only the two of them remained.

She remembered how nervous she’d been the first and even second times with Jet, how he’d assured her that it would only hurt at the beginning.

Now, however, there was no pain, even though she was still incredibly sensitive. Perhaps it was because of the different angle, or maybe it was because he’d worked her up so much beforehand.

Whatever the reason, she found herself slowly sinking down, pulling him in with relative ease.

For the briefest of moments, the candlelight blazed hotter and brighter around them, although neither of them paid the flames any attention.

All she saw was the look on his face, how his mouth fell open in a silent _oh_ , how he watched her in astonishment and something else she was too afraid to name right now.

She saw how he allowed his eyes to betray his fears and vulnerabilities, how he laid all of himself at her feet without hesitation to be accepted or rejected.

And in that moment, she silently forgave him for everything.

She released a breathy moan once she’d taken him completely, resting her palms flat against his chest to steady herself. Katara threw her head back with her eyes closed, allowing herself to feel every sensation. 

Somewhere below, she felt Zuko’s hands settle on her hips, gripping her skin as though he would sink under her waves and drown if he let go. His chest was rising and falling beneath her hands, his blood calling out to her as his heart hammered away behind his ribs.

If only she could freeze the moment for an eternity, always remembering how damn good he felt inside, how they fit so perfectly together…

“Katara?”

Her eyes fluttered open and she smiled down at him, leaning forward to press her lips against his.

“Hi,” she whispered.

His eyes were crinkled up in pure bliss as he stroked her hair.

“Hey,” he replied, drinking in the sight of her as though he couldn’t get enough. “You okay?”

She nodded, brushing messy locks of midnight black hair away from his face, leaning forward to press her forehead against his.

“I’ve never felt better,” she whispered. “This feels perfect.”

It was the truth, if she could only forget how much her heart was breaking and how his had to be absolutely shattered. Still, he kept his pain almost completely hidden behind his eyes, although she could sense its presence lurking just beneath the surface.

Her lips met his again before moving on to his scar, pressing light kisses all along the darkened flesh, ending with a long, lingering kiss against the crimson skin of his eye socket before pulling back.

“ _You’re_ perfect,” she breathed, and that part at least was absolutely true.

Somehow she willed herself not to cry when she saw how her words affected him just then, his features softening as he gazed up at her under half-lidded eyes. 

As selfish as she was being now, it would be far more selfish to break down and have him feel obligated to comfort her. While she hadn’t forced him into doing this, she had known there was no chance of him turning her away.

It wasn’t in his nature to not pursue what his heart desired, after all.

So if nothing else, she could at least hold it together for now.

She owed him that much.

But of course, he saw right through her in the way that only he could. He hurriedly propped himself up to a sitting position and wrapped his strong arms around her, holding her safe and sound.

“It’s okay, I’ve got you,” he murmured, kissing her cheek and hugging her tighter. “Do you want to stop?”

She shook her head, and he palmed his hands up and down her bare back, although that did little to comfort her.

“I’m so sorry,” she choked out, burying her head against his shoulder, tears slipping down her face in spite of her best efforts. “I’m so selfish, and you don’t deserve this…”

He reached up and wiped the tears away, pressing a kiss to her temple.

“None of that,” he admonished gently. “You have nothing to feel guilty about. Remember what I said earlier, about how we can stop if you want to?”

She nodded, clinging to him tightly.

“If that’s why you’re hesitating, we don’t have to go through with this if you’ve changed your mind…”

He trailed off, resting his cheek against hers.

“But don’t you _dare_ stop just because you’re feeling sorry for me,” he gritted out beside her ear, scrunching his eyes shut. “Don’t you dare patronize me like that. Trust me, I’ll be fine, I’ve lived through worse.”

Katara sighed and gave him a gentle squeeze.

“Liar,” she whispered.

He didn’t even bother trying to deny it, instead kissing her cheek.

She hugged him and sighed once more before pulling back, running her fingers through his hair, watching him sadly.

“I don’t understand you sometimes,” she murmured. “We both know how badly this is going to hurt you and how much we’ll regret this in the morning. I mean… aren’t you hurting right now?”

Zuko shook his head, which of course that was another lie. Some people were worth getting hurt for, although he knew better than to say so out loud.

“I’m not going to worry about my feelings until tomorrow comes,” he asserted, which was partially the truth. “Tonight, I just want something to remember in the first place.”

_I want something to regret._

This fleeting moment together would have to be more than enough for him.

All he wanted was one kiss from her mouth, one touch of her hand on his skin. Once it was over, he would find some way to survive.

He always did, after all, somehow.

~*~*~

There was a single moment where he thought he might finally regret his decision, though.

Once she composed herself and started to move above him at last, Zuko felt that all too familiar viselike grip around his heart, crushing it until his chest began to ache.

But he just leaned back against the pillows, snaking his arms around her body and pulling her down closer to him, closing his eyes as he let himself be pulled under her waves.

She started off slowly, building up a steady pace of rocking her hips against his, pausing just long enough to clench around him every so often and listening to him moan appreciatively before continuing.

At one point she leaned back, keeping up the rhythm while resting her fingertips atop his thighs behind her for balance. His hands palmed against her breasts, and he swore he’d never seen anything more beautiful in his life.

Still, just that separation was enough to make him miss her.

Fortunately, she must have felt the same, as she soon draped herself over his chest again and was whimpering beside his ear once more, right where she belonged.

She tried to lean back at least one more time, but he pulled her down flush against his chest, shaking his head and allowing himself to be completely vulnerable, not caring how weak he was being.

“Please don’t,” he choked out. “I’m sorry, I just can’t let you go, please…”

To hell with his pride.

Katara looked stricken for a moment before she quickly composed herself and nodded, pressing kisses all over his face.

“It’s okay,” she breathed once she was able. “I’ve got you, Zuko, it’s going to be okay.”

That too was a lie, but both pretended like it wasn’t.

~*~*~

All too soon his breath caught in his throat, and he finally froze and shuddered beneath her, hoarsely gasping out her name.

The candles flared intensely, pulsing in time with his stuttering heartbeat before they burned themselves out and the room was darkened instantly.

But for one shining moment, he had been able to forget everything else and pretend like he was _hers_ and she was _his_.

They rode out wave after wave together, desperately carving his hips up into hers until both of them eventually stilled.

She allowed him to hug her so tightly that he practically knocked the air from her lungs without complaint, only clutching him tighter. He kissed her face and perfect mouth in a frenzy, his hands tangled up in her hair once more.

Even though it was over and they should have separated as quickly as possible, she let him.

Once she too caught her breath she smiled down at him sadly, kissing him slowly and sweetly, perhaps one of the last times she’d do so.

Those blue eyes that had haunted his dreams more nights than he could count were now watery as they gazed down at him. All he could do was wipe away the tears that escaped, kissing the trails they rolled down.

He closed his eyes as she carefully pulled back and slipped away, settling down on the mattress beside him.

“I’m, um, going to go clean up?” she said quietly, more like a question than anything. “When I get done, do you want me to go back to my room or…?”

It occurred to her then that she never actually claimed a bedroom earlier that afternoon, not that it mattered at the moment.

He sat up with a grunt and shook his head, uneasily glancing over at her.

“Please stay,” he all but begged. 

It was his turn to be the selfish one, he thought to himself, and she seemed to agree.

While it might have been easier for him if he just let her go, if they slept in separate rooms and woke up the next morning acting as if nothing had happened…

… he just couldn’t bring himself to do so.

When all was said and done, he was too weak after all.

She gave him a hint of a smile that didn’t reach her eyes and nodded, taking his hand in hers as she led him towards the washroom to rinse away all evidence of what they’d just done.

~*~*~

He stood leaning against the doorway afterwards, gazing down at her as she carefully healed all of the bruises around his neck that she’d gifted him earlier.

She glanced up at his face for a heartbeat to determine the damage she’d caused and quickly ducked her head again, concentrating on the marks instead.

“I’m so sorry.”

“I’m not.”

Katara shook her head, unable to meet his despondent look.

“Liar,” she whispered again, and he closed his eyes, as he had no answer for that.

~*~*~

Katara made no move to disentangle herself from his arms once they climbed back into his bed, thankfully, resting her head against his chest instead.

When he felt his skin grow damp, he just held her closer, kissing her forehead and murmuring gentle words of comfort.

And if she noticed his voice wavering and grow hoarser than normal at times, she thankfully didn’t draw attention to it, other than hugging him gently and whispering completely unnecessary apologies.

There was nothing to forgive.

His fate had been sealed the moment she first kissed him; at least now he had some semblance of closure, as ephemeral as it had been.

No matter what she did, he would always forgive her.

~*~*~

Eventually she fell asleep in his arms, exhausted and drained, finding some peace at last, and for that he was grateful.

As tired as he was, however, he forced himself to stay awake, listening to her slowly breathing in the darkness, feeling her heartbeat so close to his, inhaling the sweet intoxication that was distinctly _her_. 

She mumbled in her sleep from time to time and he simply pressed kisses all around her face, careful not to wake her.

He memorized every detail of Katara, from the curve of her lips to the waves in her hair, clinging to her because all too soon he’d be forced to give her up forever.

Zuko only let her go once her ocean eyes fluttered open several hours later, drowning him beneath their depths in the golden light of the morning sunrise.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter and the next were initially combined into one massive update, but then I realized it got too convoluted and too much stuff happened to take place within the span of a single chapter. 
> 
> So I broke it up for my sanity and yours. It's been a WEEK, friends, my brain's completely fried. But in happy news, there’s now a minicomic based on the scene of their first kiss against the wall, created by the talented fghartwork! The link is in the notes of the first chapter.
> 
> Also the rest of the Gaang finally makes an appearance! 
> 
> The next update probably won't be quite as long; I’m still writing it out so we'll see. There’s no ETA yet either - it’s shaping up to be A WEEK as well, with work and severe weather and all that. 
> 
> There's also some angst in this chapter as well (not as much as last time) and the next one should end on a much happier note. After this update, there might be some moments of sadness but it won't get nearly as depressing as the previous chapter was.

_I'd give you my sunshine, give you my best_  
_But the rain is always gonna come if you're standing with me_

_[Peace – Taylor Swift](https://youtu.be/HpxX4ZE4KWE) _

* * *

Katara did not dream that night.

While she slept soundly, surrounded by the warmth from nuzzling up against Zuko’s body and his arms wrapped protectively around hers, she sank into nothingness the moment she closed her eyes.

She recalled stirring once or twice in the moonlight, and she sensed gentle kisses pressed against her face until she fell asleep again.

Morning came all too soon, and she scrunched her eyes closed as the golden rays of sunshine gradually poured into the room, unwilling to face the day just yet.

It was selfish, but she wanted to remain in his embrace for as long as possible.

But that wouldn’t be fair to him to draw this out any longer, not if she was only going to break his heart in the end. So reluctantly, she opened her eyes and began to wake up, letting out a soft yawn.

His grip on her tightened for just a moment before it loosened.

“Good morning,” he murmured, his voice low and rumbling in his throat.

She tried not to think about how right it almost felt, being held by him and listening to his heartbeat beneath her ear. 

“G’morning,” she whispered, unable to lift her head off of his chest.

Instead, she closed her eyes again and hugged him for a second longer, just enough to remember how he felt like this, warm and protective and shielding her from the outside world.

Then she pulled away and sat up, focusing her gaze on the foot of the bed as she willed herself not to cry. She heard him sit up beside her and the sound of his hand running through his hair.

He sighed, and there was a faint creak as he leaned back against the headboard. Only then did she brave a glance over at him.

Zuko had one hand tucked behind his neck, staring up at the ceiling, his thoughts a million miles away. His eyes flickered down to watch her for a moment before he looked away again, eventually closing them and sighing.

“We need to leave soon,” he said quietly. “We’ve still got nearly a day’s trip ahead of us before we reach the others.”

Of all the things she was expecting him say just then, _that_ certainly was not one of them. It was enough for her to forget about her guilt and grief for a few seconds, lightly shaking her head as if she’d misheard him.

“That’s it?” she asked, narrowing her eyes. “Aren’t we going to talk about last night?”

He opened his and leveled his gaze at her with an unreadable expression on his face before frowning slightly.

“If you want to, we can,” he said evenly. “I don’t see how that’s going to make things better at this point. What’s there to even talk about?”

Katara groaned and brought her knees up to her chest, burying her face in them.

“How about the fact that I was being incredibly selfish and I shouldn’t have even suggested it in the first place?” she mumbled. “Or the fact that now, we have to go back and act like nothing happened, or…?”

He interrupted her by promptly turning back the covers, his feet hitting the floorboards with a resounding _thud_ that made her wince.

“You mean you didn’t take that into account before now?” he grumbled, sparing her a cursory glance over his shoulder. “Look, I’ll always remember last night and how it felt when you… when we…”

His voice shook ever so slightly and his eyes sought out the ceiling again, almost as if he’d lose all composure if he continued looking directly at her.

“But it’s over now, and the only thing we can do is move forward,” he finished, quickly staring down at the floor.

He started gathering up his rumpled-up clothes from the pile on the floor, shaking them out before he started to yank them on. 

She remained immobile in his bed, clutching the sheets to her chest and staring up at him in disbelief. The prince caught the look on her face and he paused, sighing and relaxing his shoulders.

“I’m sorry, I’m not mad at you, Katara,” he said softly. “I’m angry at _myself_ , and I’m just trying not to take it out on you.”

“Maybe you should,” she said bitterly, watching as he slipped his tunic on and fastened the clasps. “It’s my fault we even got into this mess in the first place. If I hadn’t-”

But he cut her off, shaking his head.

“I’m just as much at fault as you,” he insisted. “I had plenty of chances to say no or walk away, and I didn’t. Don’t you dare go and try to take the fall for this.”

She rubbed her eyes with the heels of her palms, unwilling to move just yet.

“What you did wasn’t any better, making yourself into a martyr just to prove something to me,” she pointed out. “Exactly how far are you willing to go to earn my forgiveness, Zuko? At what point do you stop falling on the sword for me?”

He raked both hands through his hair, clasping them behind his neck.

“I just didn’t want you to hurt anymore,” he said, staring down at the floor. “So I was ready to do whatever it took to make you forget your own heartache and make you feel better, even if it was temporary.”

Katara gawked up at him as she tried to process all of this.

When she finally gathered her thoughts enough to speak, he visibly recoiled at the indignation in her tone.

“So, let me get this straight,” she began, flinging back the covers and climbing out of bed to stand before him. “You were willing to let yourself get hurt and have your heart broken, all for my sake?”

His face flushed and he tilted his chin upwards, reluctant to look at her.

“Um, Katara?”

She huffed and placed her hands on her hips.

“What?” she snapped.

He stammered, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly, still refusing to meet her heated gaze.

“It’s… you’re not wearing anything, and it’s _really_ distracting…”

She glanced downwards and noticed her state of undress, specifically how his eyes kept flitting over her body despite valiant attempts not to, how he shifted his weight from one foot to the other, how a distinct part of his anatomy was already starting to visibly betray him.

With an exasperated huff she yanked one of the thin sheets off of the bed entirely, wrapping it around her body.

“Well, it’s not like you didn’t see all of me last night,” she grumbled, feeling a blush rise in her own cheeks all the same.

~*~*~

Once she was completely covered he lowered his chin and frowned down at her, folding his arms.

“That was different,” he protested. “But to answer your earlier question, yes. I know it wasn’t the most rational or the healthiest option on my part-”

“ _Healthy_?” she sputtered. “Zuko, you’re saying you’re willing to let yourself burn to ashes, just on the off chance I’d forget about all of the horrible memories this trip has dredged up over the last few days? Why would you do that to yourself?”

His features softened, although his brow remained furrowed.

“Because I’m willing to do whatever it takes,” he asserted. “I’m not expecting anything from you, but I just don’t want you to hate me-”

“I _don’t_ hate you!” she cried out, flinging her arm to the side in exasperation, the other clutching at the sheet wrapped around her body. “How many times do I have to tell you this? When is this finally going to sink in? I even said last night that I liked you, and I still do.”

Both regarded each other in silence for some minutes, breathing heavily. Finally, she broke the stillness by sighing and cautiously reaching out to rest her hand on his shoulder.

“We have a saying in the Southern Water Tribe, and even though you’re a firebender it still applies,” she said quietly. “You might even see the irony in it. Zuko, you shouldn’t set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm. Don’t put yourself through agony just because you don’t want to see me suffering.”

The prince’s golden eyes watched her withdraw her hand and cross her arms, uncertain of what to do with herself.

“You’re one to talk,” he argued, although his tone held no bite. “Aren’t you the person who’s always taking care of the others, even at the expense of yourself?” 

Katara huffed, although she didn’t attempt to dispute that fact.

All was silent once more as the two gazed at each other sadly.

“If this is about forgiveness… I already forgave you last night,” she said. “I realized just how far you were willing to go, and I…”

She trailed off when she realized his eyes had narrowed, and he now glared down at her in something like contempt.

“I don’t want your forgiveness if it’s given out of pity,” he fumed. “I already told you, I don’t need or want anyone to feel sorry for me, least of all if it’s from you. Forgive me on your own terms, Katara, not because you think I’m pitiful or that you’re obligated to. Don’t forgive me until _you’re_ ready.”

Somehow, she resisted the urge to smack him, no matter how much he deserved it right now for being so damn difficult. She was just trying to offer him closure – why couldn’t he see that? Isn’t that what he wanted from her?

Wasn’t that the entire point of this trip, so she could finally find resolution for the demons that had haunted her for the last nine years of her life?

Surely he wasn’t too proud to reject her offer of peace?

“Why is my forgiveness suddenly not good enough for you?” she demanded.

“Would you still have forgiven me entirely if I hadn’t just bared my soul to you last night?” he retorted sharply. “Be honest. If we hadn’t slept together, if you hadn’t felt sorry for me while I was acting pitiful and begging you to stay last night, would you still be offering forgiveness?”

Katara opened her mouth to answer _of course_ but found herself hesitating instead.

Truthfully, she had decided prior to last night that he wasn’t the worst person in the world. Unlike the others, he gave her the space to make her own decisions and be angry without feeling like she was a horrible person in the process.

So on that level, yes, she forgave him.

But then again, she supposed she understood where he was coming from. He might have turned over a new leaf and acted much kinder these days, but he still had some semblance of pride, and she knew how much he despised being pitied under any circumstance.

Still, that didn’t make him any less of a stubborn _ass_.

“Yes,” she insisted quietly. “I would have.”

He examined her in silence, and while he didn’t quite seem to believe her, at least he didn’t call her a liar again. 

It was then that she realized just how close their faces were, how his mouth was mere inches away from hers.

All either of them had to do was surge forward and…

He noticed their sudden closeness as well, and for a moment she thought he might actually swoop in to kiss her.

A part of her even wanted him to.

But instead he gulped and took a few steps backwards, his eyes wide open.

With a sigh she sat back on the edge of the bed, all too aware that she was still technically covered only by a thin sheet.

He steadied himself and leaned against one of the bedposts, considering her with those devastating eyes that flashed like molten gold in the sunlight.

“Why are you doing all of this?” she asked, feeling absolutely exhausted once more. “Is it because you thought you’d win me over eventually if you kept making yourself into a martyr, that I’d feel obligated to return your feelings?”

Zuko vehemently shook his head, grimacing.

“No, it’s not like that at all.”

She sighed. 

“Then what _is_ it like?”

He gazed down at her and frowned, fidgeting slightly.

“Yesterday I explained that even though I had feelings for you, I’ve never once expected you to return them or feel obligated to,” he said. “I just want you to be happy, and I know that’s not going to be with me.”

His tone was clipped, almost as if he were trying to get through the remainder of this conversation without breaking down.

“Also… you weren’t the only one being selfish last night,” he admitted quietly.

She tilted her head.

“What are you talking about?”

The prince wiped his palms down his face, peering at her through his fingertips.

“I knew that I’d never forgive myself if I turned down what was my only chance to be with you,” he said hoarsely. “So I figured, to hell with the consequences or what it did to me emotionally in the long run.”

“Zuko…” she began gently, but he shook his head, holding up his hand.

“I’ll be fine,” he said with the faintest hint of a smile. “Remember how I told you yesterday that I’m not used to being vulnerable around other people? Last night you saw a side of me that no one else has ever seen. I guess I’m coming to terms with that.” 

She had no answer for that, so she didn’t attempt to offer him one.

Instead she reached out to him, only for the prince to shake his head again with a sad smile. So she withdrew her hand and rested it atop the mattress.

“I’m so sorry,” she whispered.

This time he actually flashed her a small, sincere smile.

“Don’t be. There’s nothing to apologize for.”

As much as she wanted to protest that, she knew ultimately it was no use, so she just nodded.

“Good,” he said softly before quickly slipping into his usual brusque tones that left no room for debate. “Now, since we’ll be back sometime tomorrow afternoon, you don’t have to pack much. If you want, while you’re getting ready I can heat up a pot of water on for your tea, and we ought to leave in an hour…”

He trailed off as she shook her head, staring down at the floor.

“Zuko?” she whispered. “I’m not ready to go back yet.”

He stared at her quietly for several minutes before sighing and nodding.

“If that’s what you need, then we can stay one more day,” he said. “But we can’t take any longer than that. I’m sorry, Katara, but we’ve got an unforgiving time limit here.”

She shook her head.

“No, you’re right. We can’t afford to waste any more time… but what if I stayed here while you flew back and picked up the others?”

The prince immediately protested that idea.

“I’m not going to just abandon you-”

“You’re not abandoning me, Zuko, not if I wanted you to go.”

He exhaled wisps of smoke and shook his head.

“Are you saying you want me to leave?” he asked.

“I think we both need some time and space to clear our heads,” she reasoned. “I’m not ready to go back yet, and you said yourself that we can’t wait any longer. It’s the only way.”

Zuko still wasn’t convinced, and he frowned down at her.

“I’m not leaving you behind,” he insisted stubbornly. “I’m not the type to run away from my problems, no matter how bad things get. I’m not going to just ditch you at your darkest moment. If you don’t want me to be around, that’s fine… but I can’t just fly off and leave you behind like that.” 

Katara rubbed her eyes, dragging her fingertips down her face.

“You’re not leaving me behind. What if I want some time alone to myself?”

He still seemed hesitant, so she continued, hoping he would see reason.

“I just need some space to process everything,” she explained patiently. “There are some things I have to face on my own, and no one else can shoulder the burden except for me. Besides, what would you even be doing here waiting for me, besides wasting time?”

The question caught him off guard, and he ducked his head.

“I’d be keeping my distance, staying as far away as you wanted me to be,” he muttered. “But at least I’d be _here_ in case you needed anything.”

She sighed and stood up, careful to make sure the sheets were wrapped securely around her body.

“Zuko,” she chided gently. “I don’t need a babysitter. I’m not a child.”

His lips quirked upwards into a hint of a smile, glancing down at her standing practically bare before him, save for the thin fabric that became nearly see-through in the rays of the morning sun.

“No, you’re definitely not,” he agreed dryly.

Katara offered him a smile and gingerly rested her hand on his shoulder, mildly surprised when he didn’t flinch or pull away. 

“You also said yourself that we should be absolutely safe here and perfectly secluded,” she added. “I’ve got fresh water from the pipes and an entire sea to fish in, so I won’t starve to death or die of thirst in the next day or so. Trust me, I’ve survived worse with far less.”

The corners of his mouth lifted a little more, and she knew she almost had him.

“I know you’ll be fine,” he said softly, resting his hand atop hers and squeezing it before letting her go. “I just hate leaving you behind. And I… I also promised your brother that I would look after you, no matter what.”

She tilted her head.

“When was that?”

“That was right before we left the other night, when Aang pulled you aside,” he explained. “I swore to him on my life that I’d keep you safe during this trip.”

…oh.

Katara remembered that now.

~*~*~

After catching the two of them in the process of sneaking away, the monk had asked to speak with her in private, pulling her off to the side.

Aang had quietly warned her that she was acting just as vindictive as Jet in this quest for revenge, to which she’d scoffed.

Revenge? Hardly.

This was closure, plain and simple. All she wanted was the chance to confront the monster who’d murdered her mother, and it was a shame that her former enemy of all people was the only one who understood that.

Meanwhile, she had noticed her brother and Zuko talking together in hushed tones some distance away. Sokka hadn’t looked entirely pleased by the time they finally flew off into the night, but he didn’t seem quite as upset, either.

She supposed he had been somewhat comforted by the reassurances to look after her under pain of death.

If Sokka only knew the depths of the prince’s sincerity, she mused, and just how far he was willing to go to make sure she was cared for…

Actually on second thought, it was better if neither he nor anyone else _ever_ found out what she and Zuko did last night.

~*~*~

In the present, Zuko let out a sigh and folded his arms, gazing up at the ceiling.

“Alright, if you feel comfortable staying by yourself… I guess I have no choice but to respect that.”

Huh.

Now _that_ she was not expecting, and he faintly grinned at the undoubtedly shocked look on her face.

“If nothing else, this will prove that I’m _not_ the most argumentative person in the world,” he added with traces of that all too familiar damned smirk. "Also, I would _not_ argue with a brick wall or whatever it was you said last night."

She swatted at his arm and huffed loudly, turning to gather up her clothes scattered all over the floor and tried to quash the fluttering in her stomach at the sound of his light chuckle.

“Don’t you have better things to do, like brewing me a pot of tea to ensure that I don’t get knocked up with your illegitimate offspring?” she grumbled, shooting him a dirty look.

He bowed his head, looking for a moment like an actual gentleman, although he was still grinning far too much for her liking as he left her alone to get dressed.

~*~*~

Right before he flew away she felt her eyes watering for just a moment, although she quickly blinked the tears away.

If she started crying then he never would have left, and there just wasn’t enough time remaining before the comet for him to waste the day hovering around her.

Even so, he still seemed reluctant to leave until she practically begged him to go.

“I’ll be _fine_ ,” she insisted, planting her hands on her hips. “Please, just go get the others. The sooner you leave, the sooner you can get back.”

He finally sighed and nodded, and for a moment she thought he might reach out to embrace her or take her hands in his. She almost wanted him to, although a small part of her cautioned that was a bad idea, opening up to him again like that…

But he ducked his head, clearing his throat instead and mumbled something about needing to leave. After he climbed atop the sky bison’s head he bit his lower lip and looked as though he wanted to say something else.

Instead he gazed down at her sadly and promised he would return as soon as possible, and then they were gone.

Katara waited until he and Appa faded into the distance before she immediately got to work stripping his bed, throwing the sheets into a massive tub to wash and scrub them clean.

She drank the contraceptive tea earlier in one gulp; now the only remaining evidence from their intimate night together were his bedsheets that were covered in their combined scents. 

After a moment’s consideration she also gathered up the remainder of the bedding throughout the rest of the beach house, deciding to just wash them all and be done with it, using her bending to thoroughly rinse out the fabrics.

Once that was through she hung them up outside on the railings surrounding the courtyard, letting them dry in the salty breeze wafting up from the sea.

Then she settled down on the front porch steps, propping her chin up in the palms of her hands, staring out across the water.

While it was not her first time being completely alone, it was the only time thus far where she’d had absolutely nothing to do.

Before, she’d gotten separated from the others in the swamp and wandered around for hours, scared and constantly on edge lest a predator take her unaware.

Then there was that week or so in Ba Sing Se when she’d stayed behind at their house and met with the Earth King’s generals, at least until that chance encounter seeing the prince and his uncle working at the Jasmine Dragon.

But now?

There were technically chores that needed to be attended to – there was an awful amount of dust coating nearly everything, and at some point she needed to gather up food for her meals.

After a silent breakfast together, he had pointed out the nearby orchard and garden, which had become wild and overgrown in the last several years. Despite remaining mostly untouched for the last near-decade, there were still numerous fruits and vegetables to pick from, some of which she’d never seen or heard of before.

At the very least, they wouldn’t go hungry, and Aang would even have something to feed his vegetarian diet.

Still, she had promised Zuko that she would take time for herself to relax and be selfish, and she fully planned to, although she had no idea where to start.

Between the beach, the library, the bath house, and the gardens she had no shortage of places to visit and waste time at.

There was even a small coastal town located a few miles away should they need to buy anything, with a market and various shops. At some point she wanted to explore it, but she decided it might be better to wait until the others arrived so she’d have someone with her for backup, just in case.

Eventually, Katara settled on exploring the private beach first, as they hadn’t gotten around to it the previous day.

She filled her canteen with fresh water, packed a light lunch of fruits and grabbed a towel, and she set off down the winding dirt path, allowing herself a hint of smile as she walked.

Oddly enough, though, she didn’t feel like crying… at least not right now.

She supposed that was coming at some point sooner or later and that the inevitable breakdown would leave her shattered when it did happen.

But for now, her eyes felt completely dry, even though earlier in the bedroom that morning she had been tempted to cry at various points while arguing with Zuko.

~*~*~

Once they were far enough away so Katara couldn’t see or hear him anymore, the prince’s façade cracked almost immediately.

Zuko at least waited until the beach house shrunk to a small red speck behind him before he finally broke down, letting out a loud scream of frustration as twin plumes of smoke and flames escaped from his nostrils.

Then he realized that was _not_ the wisest decision when riding a sky bison.

Appa instantly bellowed and contorted his body in mid-air, nearly throwing the prince off and plummeting to a painful death below.

“Shh, shh, I’m so sorry, it’s okay,” he soothed, gripping the reins tightly and stroking Appa’s thick fluffy head. “I won’t do it again, I’m sorry.”

That seemed to placate the bison somewhat, who rumbled and calmed down, soon resuming their flight as if nothing had just terrified him.

Once his heart stopped pounding, Zuko resigned himself to the fact that he’d have to keep his temper reined in for the rest of the trip, lest he traumatize Appa even more.

So he had to settle for crying instead like a damn _child_ , openly allowing the tears to stream down his face and be carried off in the wind, occasionally wiping them away with the heel of his palm. As much as he hated the act itself, it admittedly helped him somewhat.

It’s not like he could shoot out blasts of fire either, or he’d risk scaring his ride in the process. Zuko also couldn’t remember the last time he’d had a good, long cry to let everything out.

When the tears subsided, he began talking out loud to himself, or perhaps to the bison, or even her ghost.

No one could hear him anyways, so why not?

“I’m such an _idiot_ ,” he groaned, closing his eyes. “She finally offers me forgiveness on a silver platter, and what did I do? I practically threw it back in her face, just like with the spirit water. And why, exactly? Just because I’m too proud to accept it? Argh! I’m so stupid!”

With that he sprawled out on his back in the thick fur, staring up at the clouds in sky above them as they raced by. He so rarely had the opportunity to be completely alone and talk aloud to himself in peace these days, so he decided to take full advantage now.

“What’s wrong with me?” he asked the clouds and Appa, as if they could answer. “I knew this was going to happen, I knew I shouldn’t go through with it… but can you blame me? I know I’m not her type, and she could do so much better than me… but something in me just doesn’t want to give up hope. I don’t want to let her go.”

Of course Appa and the clouds had no response for him, so he sat up with a grunt and wiped his eyes, staring blearily ahead of him at the landscape below.

He recalled that fateful night that led to this whole predicament in the first place, when he’d been reduced to begging her into staying.

_I can’t let you go._

_You have to._

Although he knew he shouldn’t have slept with Katara last night, he couldn’t bring himself to regret his decision, either. The whole experience had been even more heavenly than he could have imagined, somehow.

He would never forget how sublime it felt sinking inside her for the first time or hearing her breathy moans beside his ear as she washed over him like the ebb and flow of the tides themselves.

How almost unbearably _warm_ she had been surrounding him, how his heartbeat had pounded like a staccato every time she rolled her hips against his and pulled him in even deeper.

How the candles had flickered in time with his breathing, gradually burning brighter and brighter until at last he couldn’t hold back anymore. 

How he finished shuddering and gasping in her arms, gripping her as tightly as he could while feeling safe and sated and almost even _loved_ for one of the few times in his adult life.

Was it any wonder that he’d practically begged her not to go afterwards?

It was true that very few people had seen him act so vulnerable before, and he supposed he should have felt mortified that she had seen him at one of his lowest points so far, pleading for her not to leave him alone the rest of the night.

Oddly enough, though, he just didn’t care, at least not right now.

She was one of the few people he trusted not to take advantage of his moment of weakness like that, and he knew deep down that she hadn’t judged him.

Still, though.

He refused to allow anyone else to feel pity for him, especially the girl who had his heartstrings hopelessly tangled up around her fingertips.

But she was not his and he would never be hers, so it was best that he somehow move on from these feelings.

The sooner he rejoined the others and resumed firebending lessons, the better.

That way, his mind would at least have some distraction from the waterbender who had, against all odds and expectations, utterly captivated his heart.

Just a little bit further, and he’d stop for a short break, just long enough to splash fresh water on his face to hide evidence of his brief meltdown.

~*~*~

Katara hadn’t meant to spend the entire day at the beach, but time flowed so quickly down by the shore that the sun started its slow descent before she knew it.

She had amused herself by watching as the white foam bubbled and rushed over the sand, listening to the various birdsongs and occasionally bending the waves into various shapes and spirals.

And she almost felt a sense of peace.

At one point she’d even bended a pocket of air around her as she waded out into the water, looking around in awe as various aquatic creatures swam around her the deeper she ventured.

When she was completely surrounded by cerulean she stopped, freezing a large, thick bubble around her and settled down in the sand, stretching out and gazing all around.

While she knew she had a limited air supply and couldn’t linger much longer, Katara was tempted to cry at how quiet, how tranquil she felt in her own little sanctuary hidden away from the world.

Would it really be the worst thing if she decided to stay down here? Hadn’t she earned the right to be completely selfish like that?

But then she remembered herself, and with a sigh of resignation she melted the ice pocket surrounding her and floated upwards, breaking through the surface moments later, baptized in sunlight and seawater.

She floated along, eventually using her bending the water around her to carry herself back towards the shore.

Now, Katara stood motionless as the waves swirled around her ankles, burying her bare feet even deeper into the wet sand.

The sun hung low in the sky off in the horizon, bathing her and the island in a wash of oranges and pinks and lavenders once more.

Zuko had once explained to their group how sunsets were revered in the Fire Nation, how numerous ceremonies and even Agni Kais were most often held in the waning golden light.

As she stood there, clad in only her sarashi and lower bindings, she indeed understood why such a sight was considered sacred amongst firebenders.

She now knew why the prince had been so eager to show off the sunset for her yesterday afternoon and recalled the surprising tenderness in his voice as he had spoken to her then.

Not so long ago, she thought she had him all figured out.

He was nothing more than an angry, spoiled prince hellbent on capturing the Avatar and delivering him in chains back to his father, all so he could have his honor restored.

(Which, in itself, was a ridiculous concept to begin with. As if anyone could take away or restore someone else’s honor.)

She had long thought him mean and belligerent, without any redeeming qualities whatsoever. If you got close to him, he struck and attacked when your guard was down, just like a snake hiding in the grass.

Or so she thought, until he started treating her with kindness and respect, always taking her wants and needs into account and occasionally making them his priority.

Zuko listened – actually listened, not just politely nodding along – to her as she vented her frustrations and seemed to know what she needed before she even did. He even allowed her time and space to decompress, showing her beautiful things to make her smile.

Had she not known any of that prior to last night, she still might have been just as confused about her feelings for the prince as she was now.

They had gone from enemies to brief allies back to enemies to almost lovers, then from enemies to begrudging partners to friends to actual lovers… all within the span of three years.

Honestly, the whole thing gave one whiplash just thinking about it.

At one point she would have even laughed had you suggested that she could ever feel anything resembling affection for him. 

Did she love him? No, that much was certain. She liked him now, sure, although her feelings probably weren’t quite as strong as his.

Had their situations been reversed, Katara highly doubted she would have gone as far as he had. While she considered herself to be selfless to a fault sometimes, even she would have hesitated to put her heart on the line quite like that.

(Not since Jet, anyways. If nothing else, she had discovered the hard way from her ex-boyfriend that she should be more cautious opening up to just anyone). 

If she had learned anything over the last twenty-four hours, though, it was that she cared for Zuko more than she initially thought.

She found him attractive, sure, but now, after discovering just how much of himself he was willing to sacrifice in order to bring her happiness and closure…

… surely that was someone worth holding on to, weren’t they?

Still, their history alone was enough to discourage pursuing any type of romantic relationship (their one-night stand excluded, of course.) There was also the possibility that, assuming they won this war, he could one day be crowned Fire Lord.

Would she be willing to endure all that entailed if they decided to stay together?

Would he?

Now, she wasn’t so sure.

All she could do was stare out across the sea, waiting for him to return with the others. Maybe once they saw each other again, they could figure things out together.

~*~*~

Katara watched, breathless, as the sun continued its descent, eventually sinking below the horizon as a wild and absolutely _ridiculous_ idea formed in her mind.

Once she was shrouded in the darkness of twilight, she quickly stripped down before she could change her mind until she stood bare at the edge of the water, her arms extended out to her sides.

It wasn’t the first time she’d been naked in the wilderness – there were all of those times she’d snuck away to bathe while traveling, of course, although she usually only disrobed once she was safely underwater.

However, it was the first time she’d ever been so… _brazen_ … about it. She let out a nervous giggle, deciding that she didn’t even care if anyone somehow spotted her.

Her skin was still warm and darker in places where the sun had kissed it, and salt saturated her thick hair made unruly by the humidity.

For one moment, she was nobody’s daughter or sister or friend or lover. She was not the Avatar’s waterbending teacher or the last bender of her tribe.

Katara answered to no one but herself; she harbored no regrets or sorrows.

Everything that had weighed heavily on her heart dissipated; it was swept away in the currents of the water and carried out to the darkening sea.

She was aware of how unhinged she was acting, but she didn’t care at the moment – she was wild and lighthearted and _free_.

Nobody and nothing tied her down; she belonged to absolutely no one. Katara belonged entirely to herself, and this moment was _hers_ and _hers_ alone...

... but then a chilly breeze wafted up from over the sea in the darkness, and she heard a faint rumbling in the distance, promptly bringing her back down to reality. 

She squinted and saw that the clouds from far out across the water seemed to have developed into a storm, and she saw tiny flashes of lightning strikes as well.

As wild and uninhibited as she may have been seconds ago, Katara wasn’t stupid enough to stand outside during a thunderstorm.

So she hurriedly wrapped herself up, gathering her belongings before she trudged back up the winding path.

~*~*~

The remainder of the flight back had been peaceful enough for Zuko and the bison.

As twilight settled in they landed at the campsite, where the others were waiting for them. However, whatever cheer they had upon seeing Appa fly into view faded quickly once they realized the party was still missing one member. 

Hence the current interrogation session the prince now found himself in. 

Zuko groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose as he was bombarded with the others’ questions.

Although Toph had vouched that he was telling the truth about Katara being safe at the beach house, the rest of his friends were still understandably concerned by her absence.

“So wait, you found this guy who killed our mom but she let him go?”

“Are you sure she’s safe? What if Ozai or Azula suddenly decided to swing by for a visit?”

Only Suki and Toph remained silent, with the former giving him small smiles of reassurance despite her boyfriend and the Avatar’s incessant questions.

Finally, what little remained of his strength gave out.

His legs buckled and he leaned back against Appa’s side, sliding down the bison’s soft fur until he sat down on the ground none too gently. He pulled his knees up to his chest, cradling his head in the palms of his hands.

That immediately silenced them all, and they exchanged concerned glances with each other.

“You okay?” Toph asked, for once deciding to forgo using his nickname. “Your heartbeat is a mess and you seem like you’re about to fall apart.”

He sighed and nodded his head in resignation, explaining how he hadn’t slept the night before, much less slept well during the rest of the trip.

They at least understood that, even if he couldn’t explain exactly why he’d mentally crashed and burned shortly after leaving her behind that morning.

Aang suggested they take off that night once Zuko pointed them in the right direction so they could reunite with Katara as soon as possible. Sokka seemed more hesitant but agreed as well. 

Toph and Suki, however, thought they owed their friend some space. 

“Katara’s safe at the beach house, right?” Suki asked gently. “Since she wanted some time to herself, we should respect that. Why don’t we pack up tonight and set out first thing in the morning? That way we can all get some rest.”

The others agreed to that plan, albeit begrudgingly.

Still, it was hard to argue when their guide was visibly hanging on by a thread and barely able to keep his eyes open.

In fact, he mumbled out something that sounded like an agreement before curling up on one of Appa’s front legs, falling sound asleep minutes later. The bison let out a rumble and turned his head to give the sleeping prince an affectionate slurp to the head.

Zuko was too far gone to even register what would have made him grimace under normal circumstances.

The others exchanged concerned looks with each other once more and crept away before turning in for the night as well.

~*~*~

After scarfing down a makeshift dinner of dried jerky and vegetables from the garden, Katara treated herself to a long, relaxing soak in the large bathhouse pool, this time pouring in a jasmine-scented concoction.

As she floated along staring up at the ceiling, though, she felt her walls begin to crack again.

Still, she managed to blink back tears for the time being.

But later that night, as she lied awake alone in the darkness in her own bed listening to the thunderstorm roaring outside, Katara finally allowed herself to completely break down at last.

She wept for her mother, she wept for how her little family had been ripped apart over and over through the years.

Katara wept for how she’d snapped at her brother, who had just been trying to help, even though he’d gone about it the wrong way. 

She mourned for her friends, for all of the hardships they’d endured and for being forced to grow up entirely too fast.

Katara even sobbed for Jet, remembering how despite the flaws in his character, ultimately he had just wanted to make the world a safer place in his own way and paid the price with his life.

But most of all, she cried as she remembered how tenderly those golden eyes had gazed at her and how she didn’t know how she felt anymore regarding their owner.

Nothing made sense anymore.

All she knew was that she missed her friends and her family.

What surprised her the most of all, though, as she finally drifted off to sleep was how badly she missed _him_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I know. I’m almost done breaking your hearts. It’s about to get better. 
> 
> Up next, Katara makes a discovery about Zuko's past and she reunites with him, as well as the rest of the Gaang.


End file.
